25
What I Am Learning With Saturn In Virgo: Defending Against Imagination And Inflation… It’s Become A Waste Of (Precious) Time
Astrology in real life
This has come up around here today but really it’s “up” in general. It’s a sign of the times, with Saturn in Virgo that people police themselves… improve their boundaries when it comes to communication.
Now the soldier and I both do this and both accuse the other of doing this and since we are so competitive we are now trying to NOT do this which means we have curbed our tendencies greatly since we both want to win so badly. The thing (not) to do is this:
You cannot add in things people did not say and make them defend against them. You cannot take the words they use and change them so that they become more inflammatory so that you can appear to come out on top in an argument.
You also cannot use things that were not said but that think might be said in the future as ammunition, for example: “You’re not saying it now but in the future you probably will, think / say / feel whatever kind of way!” Huh? Now the person has to defend against something that hasn’t even happened yet, never mind the person making the accusation has themselves further inflamed over nothing (that is real).
Granted, it is not as flowery and creative communicating this way, however it sure saves a lot of problems and grief and strife. Plus it gives a good feeling knowing you’ve forced yourself to be a more reasonable person (ie. adult). And once you do this you really don’t want to deal with people who can’t do it themselves.
For example how many times do you want to say to a person, “I never said that..?”
“But you will say that!”
“Er… bye.”
Remember the Talking Into A Fan series? This is Episode 2
Anyone having a similar experience?
9 Responses to “What I Am Learning With Saturn In Virgo: Defending Against Imagination And Inflation… It’s Become A Waste Of (Precious) Time”
I forgot to say, I LOVED the “Fan” series! I’m glad it’s getting a make-over. 
I agree. Not add in, nor use. Repeating the same words or actions would only create more tension. Also the words NEVER and ALWAYS shouldn´t be used, that´d save us time too. Those two words are simply not real.
But what about the opposite Elsa? when the other one assumes that one has to deduce and understand everything just because she/he knows and understands exactly what the “message” is? In this case is her or him that is doing the opposite. It´s not defending or inflating at first, but it is assuming that the other understood. It´s the receiver of the message fighting against an incomplete message that the sender thinks was sent. And that is also a waste of precious time. Because at the end, when the receiver never understood and the sender didn´t make things clear, not only imagination and the inflation come, it´s a bit worst. 
yes…
took me forever to figure out it wasn’t miscommunication, but active unwillingness to communicate on the part of the other, though. messed myself up in the head pretty good in the meanwhile.
now, well, i just have time for such conversations. let alone the willingness to tax my emotional reserves, so i tend to stop bothering to talk to such people if i can avoid it…
(_don’t_ have time for)
Yikes, I’ve been guilty of all of the above tactics, and even though they may win me temporary victory in an argument, they sure don’t satisfy my deep need to be understood or understand another. Saturn in Virgo’s in my face though, so I am working on this.
It sure helps if the other person you’re engaging with has a desire to lift others up. I mean, I just go haywire with name-calling and put-downs. Increasingly, this is my cue to stop engaging.
I don’t argue much if I can help it. I don’t like to argue, because, I suppose I only like to win, and therefore I’m far too earnest. I have Saturn in Virgo, and now it’s conjuncting my Sun (after having had it conjunct my Saturn). I think it’s a really rotten placement for Saturn; it’s hard to find anyone say anything much on the positive side, unless I’m missing some subtlety. LOL
Anyway, I love love love this graphic, the brunette Virgo lady-in-blue. It looks like a 1950’s paperback cover. Do tell! What’s the source of this graphic?
Sadiablo - rofl badda baddaa, yang yang… I think I hurt myself laughing. The ooomatopia is just delicious.
as for that. No I’ve always fought pretty straight up. Mostly because “winning” isn’t it. I’m pretty grounded so I don’t really see the point in fighting about unrelevant unhappened things. Mostly I only fight when I’m not being heard/problems addressed/hurtful behavior. He’s learned a lot of social skills just from the pure fact that I don’t fight to harm - just to get on the same page and to be heard. He’s really straight with me too - not a lot of social filters for him.
“What’s the source of this graphic?”
I am sorry, I don’t recall. I have collected these for 10 years!
Get A Consultation
I'm available for consultations! You can schedule a consultation by phone or a consultation by email. You can also read what clients have to say about my consultations. Thanks, I look forward to working with you. :) - Elsa P
More
Recent Blog Comments
- Tree Frog: Yes. I am very aware of this....
- omie: oh yes! I notice.I would miss you very much!...
- Lesia: I would be very disappointed. I'm just getting to know you, ...
- Lupa: Most definitely. You are the driving force here and it defi...
- opal: Elsa, this and the Saturn Pluto post are, I think, the most ...
- lindsey: great song...hope we all find the ace in the dark......
- grrr: Oaw. THANKS. Words of wisdom. really needed to hear that. ...
Recent Board Posts
OHHH, yeah. *vigorous nodding*
My problem is that my man will say something innocuous (to him) that sets off my abuse issues, then I explode. I’ve been learning for the past year to stifle that knee-jerk reaction and calmly say, “You know, when you say bladda bladda I hear yang yang and it really aggravates me. Can we find a different way to do this?”
I’ve got natal Saturn in Virgo conjunct Merc in Leo, both trined Neptune. *sigh* This is a biiig project.