Busted (ya’ll know him, right?) wrote this in a comment, then opted to email it inviting me to make an open question out of it so I will. A few days ago I said I preferred conversation, yes? So here goes.

Busted writes on Composite Charts and Destiny in regards to my stating I regretted separating from the soldier when we were young…

“But I have lots of regrets and, tellingly, they’re mostly connected with Saturnian moments in my life, but at the time it was simply inconceivable to do anything other than what I did: all advice sounded hollow, no other realities seemed possible. The whole Saturnian objective of: “…clutched it up, dug deeper, listened to reason…” are easy to say in retrospect.”

I am not sure this applies in our case. We were both hotheads, we lacked maturity and we were both stubborn and full of pride. I absolutely could have said something and it was not as if we had a single chance. We had many chances. We had a hundred chances each and neither of us blinked. I distinctly recall trying all kinds of hijinks to get what I wanted without giving an inch… what the hell is that. A simple, “I don’t want you to go” would have done it but noooooooooooo.

Busted:

“I have a theory about Saturn transits, which may be a theory about Saturn generally. I’ve always found that, in keeping with the planet’s properties of delay and impeding, that the real pain and depression of the transit seem to happen AFTER the exact orb of the transit has passed. It may be that Saturn is exactly about that — looking back — and whatever the ethically correct response to Saturn’s demands are, you only realize it and are able to implement it AFTER the loss or the humiliation or the restriction has happened.”

I don’t doubt your observations but my experiences are contrary this possibly because Saturn is well aspected in my natal and rules the chart? In whatever case, specific to this situation, I was given this love when I was very young and I did not “do the right thing” as they say. This does not mean I did not think I did the right thing because in many ways I felt I did. I have a pretty confused Saturn so who knows! But looking back with matured perspective, I was just afraid and I let my fear rule my decisions which is never a good idea. I do wish I’d have taken a gamble… a leap of faith because had I done so, it would definitely have paid off. But I had good reason to be wary.

I’d just pulled off the coup of a lifetime. I knew I’d been lucky to have done so, should I push it? I didn’t think I should push it. I looked all over for a sign or some kind of support and found none.

Busted:

“I’ve seen many people respond to Saturn in a “correctly” Saturnian way… But it always turned out that they were responding through the negative Saturnian modes of fear and inhibition rather than sobriety and reason. And afterwards they regret their inhibition as much as me or you might regret the rash response and throwing away of an opportunity.”

Here is sounds as if we may be talking about the same thing so perhaps it is my confused (mashed up with Neptune) Saturn in action. I did throw away a (major) opportunity but I had reasons and they were sober! It is very hard to boil the thing down to something simple though the soldier claims he can. I have less luck. For example I could claim (correctly) that I did the only thing I could if I wanted to maintain my integrity because I just could not embrace this idea of “Special Forces”. I tried very hard… I begged for information or an angle or a something, but it was not forthcoming and I am an inordinately loyal person by nature

This means I cannot marry you and think you suck behind your back! So based on this alone, I am in the right to refuse marriage when he is headed for a career and that almost anyone (in this time and place) would raise eyebrows at. So on that front, my decision was very adult and sober but he says we’d have figured it all out… it would have been all right and come out well and these days I know he’s right. So the leap of faith would have worked, see? And I know this now.

I have since learned that I can take virtually any leap of faith and come out all right but I just didn’t have that information when I was a teen. I had just beaten outrageous odds and I just didn’t know my luck would go on and on and on… along with my lack of luck, LOL.

Busted:

“Saturn might just be about regret no matter how you respond or how you slice it.”

Boy, I don’t think so. It might be my age (or a well-aspected Saturn) but I feel nothing but gratitude for what I learn and gain during Saturn transits. I am always left with a sense of “Thank God, I finally figured that out!”

Busted:

From a more Neptunian perspective: aren’t the thirty lost years not just a missed opportunity but one of the things that makes your and the soldier’s love so powerful now?

I don’t think so. Honestly, the love is the same. It is exactly the same… I don’t feel one thing different than I did 30 years ago, I just express myself better. I’m not kidding, our love was “powerful” from the first minute we saw each other in that room. I don’t perceive any different… swirl now, swirl then.

Busted:

“In any event, I’m happy for how things turned out for you because you’ve given all of us lotsa joy through your experiences together as well.”

Thank you.

Anyone want to jump in here?