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Saturn In Virgo: Elsa P - “Cracking Up”
Astrology in real life
I am having trouble writing here lately, you may have noticed. The reason is because the Astro Dispatch is a lot of work, the work is not creative and I am finding it near impossible to switch back and forth.
As always, I have endless ideas but I am afraid (Saturn) to embark on something because when I write (Virgo) poorly, I am easily misunderstood. I may be misinterpreted or in many cases, no one knows what the hell I am talking about and in the past when this has happened I have been able to respond quickly and untangle the hair.
Untangle the hair, or turn the coals over… whatever. I was able to get on it and stay on but now? Now my attention is 80% turned and I wonder if I am going to wind up an administrator rather than a writer or someone who creates content. Could it be?
I have been at this almost 9 years.
I badly want to tell you guys about the revelation I had while fighting with the soldier. It’s the biggest piece I’ve got in years but what the hell? How do I get the time and space to allow the words to come out my fingers with so many other things to do?
I’ll let Nick Lowe tell you about it. Nick Lowe who I found via my friend, Leon, 25 years ago. (Happy Birthday, Leon)
Nick Lowe - Cracking Up
13 Responses to “Saturn In Virgo: Elsa P - “Cracking Up””
Wow..I’ve just felt so intense on every level imaginable that I can’t possibly do my usual responding here.. I don’t know how to bring order to my own thoughts and feelings, which include burdensome chaos-anger-sadness-frustration. But Elsa, if you can save your thought about the revelation you had, and write it when you’re ready, I can wait..
wishing you peace.
on a different note: thanks for the visual representation of my inner child up there.
take care,
xo
Yeah, that little girl is pretty funny. On the positive side, I was just thinking at 7 a.m. here how great Astro Dispatch is and how much it has done for me that I have had access to all of this knowledge that I had no view on before I found Astro Top 10 a year and a half ago. So one more time, THANKS.
And I’m dying to hear this revelation but will wait patiently. Good luck!
There’s not going to be a (published) revelation, this is my whole point. I have fallen out of the mode where I can produce that kind of stuff because this administrative work is very different.
It’s just simply not possible - it would be like having a 16 hour a day job and continuing to do your other 16 hour a day job, all for no pay!
See, behind the scenes I am actually a person and it’s just not (humanly) possible this get done due the creative mindset is just so remote from this other.
It takes a commitment to be creative on this blog and I just don’t have a commitment at the moment. It reminds me of this gal’s kid who I watched for no pay, 18 hours a day for almost 2 years. She’d drop her kid off at 6 AM - I was the free babysitter from heaven but then one day I could no longer do it and while she still wanted me to - I could not as the time that I could had passed.
I can’t see you leaving the creative piece forever, Elsa, although this phase of it may be ending. I went through a similar period when I got “kicked upstairs”: I was just supervising other people doing the “real” work rather than doing it myself. I couldn’t stand it after a while, and had to get back to doing it myself rather than cleaning up after everyone else’s messes. But we all need to get off the merry-go-round sometimes, you know . . .
And, thanks so much for the Nick Lowe!! “I don’t think it’s funny no more” - perfect way to actually put a smile back on my face.
Elsa, I am sure your creative work will be back in some form or another. I just can’t see you as an ‘administrator’. Looking forward to it, but no rush… Good luck.
I am reminded of the image of the fallow field…how even the most fertile field must sometimes take a rest. It does not mean the field will never bloom again. It just needs time to soak up some nutrients, turn its face to the sun, and return blossoming when it’s ready. My opinion is that writers are always writing even if the words are not appearing on the page at the moment. We are always incubating, filtering, sifting, commenting…your focus is shifting to the other field right now. I wish you all good things as you continue to share your creativity in its many forms with us–astro dispatch, the blog, your great photos and videos. It’s all bounteous and beautiful. Thank you!
I just had a wizard of oz moment, lol. Elsa I think I’ve mentioned it already so my apologies if I had, but have you ever heard of Lulu? Self-publishing that the reader of your work pays for. You, the author, do NOT have to pay a dime or even leave your house to put it up for sale on the internet.
I know you’ve said before that the book will be published when your dead and gone, but if you change your mind, I would go on that site and buy your book. You could have it for sale within the next 24 hours.
Wow!!! That child looks like me (at 6) looking at my virgo’s mom - after a wild day. Ha ha ha! Sometimes I look that way now to ha ha ha!!
The sad thing: Exactly like you Elsa I am not having a wild time neither a fun time now. My life is lot, tons of works, may be everyone around is in the same way . The “air” feels uneasy for me, I cannot balance my mood, so I opted for plain negation of reality. May be it is the time, the stars or whatever, soon I hope the fun will return for all of us.
Well, I for one am with kashmiri on the whole self-publishing your book idea. I’ve been looking forward to reading it for so long that the idea of that not being a possibility, well, it just sucks! 
As for being only administrative and not creative, I don’t know if that’d even be a long-term possibility for you, Elsa. The stories you share with us just seem to flow straight from the core of you and for that to be stopped up forever, I don’t know if you’d be able to survive it. Of course, I’m just making suppositions so I could be totally off base here but that’s the way it seems to me. Anyhow, I figure you’ll know what path is best for you and yours. Just remember we’ll all be here, for better or worse, supporting you as best we can.
Ok. I gotta hope that if you’re having great revelations, they will feed and inform your work on some level and you (and we) will benefit somehow.
Mouth hanging open at the jackpot of a free all-day babysitter for two years! Do people actually help each other out like this anymore?
I know you’re a real person, so I always think about how you find time to get on the computer and do everything you do. Besides the things you have to do off the computer, like drive Vid around and see Mosta and bring the Soldier breakfast and have sex and make your hair look good, not to mention all the drudgery you’d rather not do like I don’t know, laundry and legal battles. Are you ever able to SIT DOWN? Thank God for bathtime, right?
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“I wonder if I am going to wind up an administrator rather than a writer or someone who creates content. Could it be?”
I guess anything is possible but you strike me as too gifted at writing and storytelling for an admin. thing to be long term.
What do you like more? More importantly, which of the two would simplify your life more in the moment? Nothing lasts forever (except the appeal of this song~ good choice, Leon).