Diana writes on The Sycophant (part 4) regarding the book I wrote:

“Omg, let me read it. I’d love to read it, I’m totally serious. Get that thing published. Believe it or not, your experiences help me understand things and people around me. I’m only 19 so I’m not so experienced with much of anything. Not only that, your experiences are super entertaining.

I’ve been reading your blog for almost a year and even though we’ve never met, I still feel that I know you. I can relate to everything that you write, regardless of what it is, you make sure everyone gets their share. So without sounding too creepy, I care about happens in your life. I read your blog every single day and I feel like I know everyone you talk about. Just a bunch of characters that I can relate to. So, it would be really interesting to read about how you got to where you are now…”


Thanks, Diana. Like I said, the book is written, it was a project that was important to me at the time and I slaved over the son of a bitch but that was more than 3 years ago and it’s just gone into the abyss. It may wake up some day, I don’t know. But it is like this story. (The Sycophant)

Actually it is a collection of 12 (15?) stories like The Sycophant. They stand alone but collectively they tell the story of my life (to the extent it can be told). It is exactly what you say, it’s the explanation of why I am the way I am and sometimes I do wish it were out there because if it was I think people would bother me a lot less. Or maybe not…

In whatever case I don’t think about that book very often. I am just a forward looking person and it seems in my past, even my long ago past but I don’t know. Someday it may come to the front but whoever said I ought to write for Hollywood, well I think I already have.

As I always say when this comes up, I am sure if I die the thing will get published which would be fine with me. Anything is fine with me when I am dead! But since I am living, I just keep going forward as this is my nature like a stream.

Er, the soldier and I parted (like me and my book) and we intersected 28 years later. Why it is this way, who knows? But it is not wrong and I feel same about that book. I have let it go and I don’t know what it’s doing now. The thing will have to rise up organically, I’ll tell you that. Because simply put, this is the way I am.

You know the soldier and I were touch in 2003 and then split again - did not talk for 3 years before there was another intersection and I don’t know about you but I think this is the way to live. I just don’t believe in jamming things into places they don’t want to be and if that book wants out there, I am sure it will find it’s way. What’s funny is that people call me a faithless control freak.

I am glad you get something from my blog, I really can’t do any more. I give everything I have every day. I have done so for decades so really… I’ve just nothing more I can do about this or anything else. It is always my best - always.

How do you live?