Candor In Friendship - When Is It Considered Interfering?

11 Responses to “Candor In Friendship - When Is It Considered Interfering?”

1. omie says on 8/21/08 at 7:39 pm:
   

   I think it is important with friends when you have mentioned they are heading for the waterfall, and they go down, to love them all the way through it, because sometimes you can’t know unless you take that road with the big danger do not enter sign, and you really do need your friends, esp. the ones who know why that road sucks and you should not have gone down in the first place.

2. Elsa says on 8/21/08 at 8:44 pm:
   

   omie - I virtually never abandon my friends. In fact I always tell them I will be there regardless of what they do or decide and I am. Exceptions are made if you stay with a man who beats the shit out of you. I really can’t handle that.

3. kingsley says on 8/21/08 at 9:30 pm:
   

   I like the way you be a friend Elsa. In my mind being like a shepard is a good visual to describe the way I work perhaps. And no, its not about getting the flock out of there.

   Imagine a small stone bridge and the shepard wants the sheeo to get to the other side because the grass is greener there. The shepard can make noises and hold his arms up move in a way to direct the animals until they all cross the bridge to where he knows is best for them.

   Different tactics work, others don’t. I wouldn’t say that you are not a therapist by the way and perhaps your style is suited to your situations. I would get sued or end up rescuing clients rather than helping them if I was to do anything else. Our situations are different however I do enjoy the discussions with you.

   In my earliest days of astrological counselling my friend used to say that I had a piece of four by two in the way I put things across sometimes, so I decided to learn how to be a counsellor.

   that was good advice from him then even though I didn’t like it at first.

   kingsley

4. Elsa says on 8/21/08 at 10:08 pm:
   

   Well Kingsley, I am just winding up Pluto’s transit through the 11th house and I have very few friends left. I guess you could say this situation is ultra purified at this point.

   People who have hung in over the last several years… well I think they must love me or something.

5. Dina says on 8/21/08 at 11:00 pm:
   

   I like the picture you added to this. Sometimes I forget about it when I get way too wrapped up in other people’s criticism. But what about people in abusive relationships who seem to have blinders on like they’ve joined a cult (he smashed my face into dogshit because I deserved it, he is the best thing that ever happened to me)? You think simply calling them out on their bullshit will be useful for them?

6. maureen says on 8/21/08 at 11:02 pm:
   

   Hey Elsa, when I had a reading with you, I remember saying right away, “lay it on me!” Where those words and that excitement came from, I don’t know, but there was something about the energy… I knew I would get what I needed, and I was ready for whatever you had to say. It’s like you’re teaching me my own language. Wow! And all of this after my very own grueling Pluto transit. Thank you.

7. satori says on 8/21/08 at 11:07 pm:
   

   I met Elsa when saturn was going through my 11th. it’s now in my first. she’s the ONLY one left standing and she’s of greater value than all the others put together.

8. Jennifer says on 8/22/08 at 12:10 am:
   

   Well, I’ve been blown off enough by people when I tried to tell them NOT TO DO THE STUPID that I just give up. If they ask me if it’s stupid, I will tell them, but people ignore me on a regular basis if I make any attempts to save them from themselves. Maybe it’s a natal Mercury retrograde thing and people don’t listen to me, I don’t know, but I’ve been blown off so so so many times it’s not worth it to try any more. I just get angrier when they blow me off after I’ve tried than if I resign myself to watching them shoot themselves in the foot.

   I get what you’re saying, Elsa, I just can’t at all get it to work in practice.

9. kashmiri says on 8/22/08 at 12:33 am:
   

   wow, satori that’s so great you guys found each other. good friends are priceless, and your chemistry as friends really shows

10. omie says on 8/22/08 at 7:54 am:
    

    I stick with my friends too, and I am lucky because they stick with me. When you find someone who you click with, it is really so much of what makes life worth living.

    Jennifer, I think part of it, is not to be hurt if they don’t take your advise; the advise just shows you care about them for real and are doing your best for them. It is hard to watch someone mess up, but Everyone messes up, and everyone needs friends just the same.

    Other times it could be you just need new friends that are less annoying.

11. Elsa says on 8/22/08 at 12:07 pm:
    

    satori - interesting about Saturn T your 11th when we met. I didn’t realize but I do recall getting on your ass pretty swiftly. I was surprised I ever heard from you again after that but was sure glad when I did….

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