A few weeks ago…

“Yeah, she is a really good dog,” I said regarding, Dora.

“Yeah she is,” the soldier said. “Except for when she overturned that canoe that time.”

“She did that?”

“Hell ye she did that. I thought she’d be okay out on the river but I guess not. She freaked out and overturned the canoe. I went into the water and got soaking wet.”

“What did she do?”

“Swam to shore, got there, ran back to the camper.”

“She abandoned you?”

“Hell yeah she abandoned me.  Left me to flail around in the water, try to get the canoe righted as I was floating downstream.”

“Dang.”

“Yeah, and she had a boyfriend in that camp too. His name was Bear and she over flirtin’ around with him. Thanks to that… thanks to her exploits with that man of hers, a picnic guard threatened me.”

“How?”

“Oh, he wanted her on a leash. I told him I would be glad to put Dora on a leash as soon as Bear was on a leash as well.  Why should she have to be on leash if he does not? Dora hates a leash, she’s a street dog.”

“Yeah?”

“And he said, I make the rules around here! What I say goes. I have 20 years as a Navy security guard…”

I laughed.

“Yeah, he said that and I said, Whoop-dee doo! Well you can use your 20 years as a security guard Navy training then. I said that and stood up, I was ready to fight. I mean I’ll put her on a leash but every other dog there better have a leash and none of them did.”

“How did it end up?”

“Nothing. He left us alone after than Whoop-dee doo!”

“Damn her, she’s a problem. I guess all women are.”

“You could say that. But that girl right there… well you can’t trust her that’s for sure. Turn a man over in his canoe then go off lookin’ for a kiss from her boyfriend. I’ve had so much crap from that dog you wouldn’t believe what she’s put me through. She thinks it’s funny too. She knows I’m stuck with her ass. I can’t do anything about it and she knows damned well. Look at her. Don’t buy her sweet and innocent routine. That dog is a bitch, P. Dora is a bitch. Don’t trust her, that’s for sure. She’ll leave a man to drown taking care of the problem that sheee caused.”