Court was murderous actually and for reasons I did not or could not have anticipated. There is a new judge which made the cold thing even colder. I liked the old judge.

I don’t dislike the new judge, he is just a stranger and sometimes I think the reason the universe gave me astrology is because I could never deal with this life without it.

I know I have a Pluto transit to my Moon and I know I am losing (have lost) my daughter. I wrote on here months ago that she would not be coming home but that was just to float the concept. It was something still ethereal but today (Venus is conjunct Saturn) it just real-er. Real-er but not real because Pluto takes you down in degrees and I am not there yet. *We* are not there yet.

I called a pal leaving the courtroom. “What would you equate this too?” I asked. “What is this that is happening to me?”

I don’t remember what she said. Too many systems were shut down. Something about the most unnatural thing in the world. Something about being continually astonished at what I am made to suffer.

I had no idea what to do with that information so I did nothing. I couldn’t explain if I had a million years.