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Open Question: Why Is A Person Chosen To Shoulder More Than Their Share Of The Collective Burden?
Ask the collective
Dear Elsa,
I am the sole care taker of my Downs syndrome sister. Yes she has enriched and guided my life. However just wondering why these angels are sent into certain peoples lives and not others. At times this responsibility can be a burden, (but also a blessing). Why do you think we were chosen for this path?
Caretaker
Caretaker, that’s a good question and I don’t think there is a single “right” answer. The old adage says we are chosen for the path because we can handle it however my personal belief is that we choose our lives as much as we are chosen for them. For example you are able to derive a benefit from what many would view as an oppressive situation so perhaps you chose this path because you wanted this benefit?
The fact I grew up hard is inarguable however I would not change a thing about my childhood because I also like the hand it’s left me with so you get the idea. I take this whole concept beyond being “chosen” by a force outside the self to another scenario where the individual is both responsible for and empowered by their life.
Anyone else?
9 Responses to “Open Question: Why Is A Person Chosen To Shoulder More Than Their Share Of The Collective Burden?”
ooooo! jupiter, neptune, uranus, saturn?? in my control, outside control, or no control?
Dear caretaker, I have a sister with authism, and sometimes and,…if my sister could communicate or learn to take care of herself it could be for me a great blessing. She haves a taurus stellium with a sadge moon, all that she wants is to go by car and eat hot dogs, pizzas and whatever. My communication with grace is to share a ice gream. Your sister can integrate to society, that is a benefit for you: take it. The condition of your sister is another conditios other way of being (fortunately she haves you) it is not a blessing, neither a cricifixion or martyrdom. Your sister could still take a little job, there is a lot of people with dispossition to help you (ie: giving your sister a job) She can talk with you to tell you how she feels and so on. The main thing here: let your sister to take care of herself, you will be not a caretaker, just her sister.
crazy-moon, I think your point of view is fantastic and obviously works great for you! that’s fabulous! I’m uncomfortable reading what you say to Caretaker that her sister’s condition is not a blessing or what she “should” do. it’s certainly an outlook she could consider and an idea for what she might do if she so chose.
Thanks Satori, It is not easy to me to say it, because it hurts. However answering the question of careteker I think yes, I have the strong feeling that ’someone’ puts disabled people near of persons that can take care of the situation.
I see it the same way as you do, Elsa.
Doing the Libra-examining-all-facets-thing I have been wondering lately, however, if thinking this way is a way to simply make myself feel better.
If everyone chooses their lives (for good or bad) then (for example) I would feel somehow absolved a little if I ended up in a wheelchair or something & my husband had to take care of me a lot.
But I’ve pretty much always believed that everyone chooses their lives and/or has karma to work out.
In thinking about this, it helps me to think globally rather than domestically. But still, even though millions and millions of people have it worse, it doesn’t mean that it still does not rip your heart out.
The Caretaker’s question is difficult to answer.
People who find themselves in Caretaker’s position are there for different reasons. Some feel the simple duty of human decency, others love the company of the disabled person, others are there because there is no-one else to do it and the alternatives are untenable. There are other reasons as well.
As far as being “chosen” to this level of service to the needs of another, if your faith encompasses that notion, then the same faith can sustain your strength within it.
Regarding “Why some and not other?” Why white and not black? Why fat and not thin? why Australian and not American?
I think the question itself is illogical. Pondering things that cannot be changed is far less rewarding than making the very best out of the things we have at your disposal.
I am much keener on the “I am in the position that I am in, what can I do to improve it” line of thinking. It is a direction I endeavor to steer my clients when they come up with that “why me?” question.
Elsa, that was just an awesome answer. I totally agree, for me it is more practical than anything else. Spiritually, I do happen to think that I chose my lessons I need to learn. But even for people who don’t believe that, there is just a whole lot of practical good in accepting that we can choose how to frame our situation to a certain degree. We are responsible for playing the hand that is dealt as best we can. Maybe it’s just all my cardinal planets, but I really prefer living this way.
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Caretaker– I’m really glad you point of view works so well for you and I’m happy you are able to see the challenging elements of you life as a blessing!
what I find most interesting and what I am curious about is the differing points of view in regard to where life paths come from. Caretaker seems to state that things were given and she was chosen. Elsa seems supportive of this possiblity but for herself believes SHE has chosen. I also believe it likely that I have chosen but would be more likely to lean toward atheism (well, at least a non-personal god) and chaos theory if that proved incorrect.
so I’m wondering if these tendencies show in the chart? jupiter, pisces, 9th, 12th houses?