Pluto Moon Transit - Mine: The Retrograde Phase - Going Back Over The Trauma… And How Does One Survive?
Astrology in real life
And also on this topic, I was talking to pal and fellow astrologer, Claire-France today and just laying it out. Fact is, Pluto retrograde means Pluto is applying to my Moon where it will station for three months. This means it is no big surprise I am running smack into the past and I can expect more… much more of the same.
For example, I took my son to the bus stop yesterday and waited with him because it was the first day. There were several parents who knew my daughter there and another woman I couldn’t place.
Damn was I embarrassed when I realized it was the school principal. Yep, she was riding the bus with the kids if you can believe that but here’s the thing:
She was the principal of this school the last year my daughter attended (2 years ago). She was a new principal and do you know that whole year was so traumatic for me, here I am looking at the woman…recognizing her, knowing she is someone but unable to pin down who and it just goes to show you the level of trauma my family has suffered. I have dealt with so many nurses, doctors, school people, counselors, on and on and on and on, I can’t even remember who runs the school even though I spoke with this woman 30 times and had at least 6-8 meetings with her. What the hell?
So I think this is part of the point of the retrograde phase of this transit. I am going backwards to see what happened because so much happened… well you know the psyche just can’t handle it. It just does a dump, at least mine does. I had to take my daughter (and my son) out of this school and in such pain and chaos… well I just haven’t given these people much thought since. Survival is the word.
With Pluto Moon, it has been all my family could do to survive and consequently I not only couldn’t remember the principal’s name, I could not even place her. So guess what that’s like?
Well it’s unnerving because no one has forgotten me, see? So I just stand there with my awareness of their awareness… er lack of awareness that I can’t remember them because by God, I should remember them but unfortunately my family got hit by a missile and as it is, part of my hard drive is gone. And it is finding this out that reveals (to me) how deep the wound and the trauma actually is. The scope of it that it and it’s so funny in a not funny way.
When you’re a mother who comes to see your daughter in the hospital to be told there has been an event and she’s “around the bend and not coming back,” (this actually happened to me) well all the sudden the principal’s name at your kid’s school holds no importance at all. And I would never be able to explain this to her so I guess I’ll just look at her with glazed eyes for now and probably forever.
24 Responses to “Pluto Moon Transit - Mine: The Retrograde Phase - Going Back Over The Trauma… And How Does One Survive?”
Do you think that she would not have understanding or sympathy for what you have been through? I know I make allowances for people….
Wellll, that could be…but then wouldn’t it go both ways? If she’s so busy running the school to feel empathy for you, then maybe she’s so busy running the school that she didn’t really remember you either? Could it be that she was looking at you, knowing that she should remember you - but just couldn’t place you?
Just an alternate way of thinking of things…
I don’t know, but I do know that sometimes I dither, trying to decide if I should say something or not (and then it is too late). Also, while I think I look completely friendly, my ex has often commented on the face I have been wearing. (As in: NOT friendly, or looking angry, or whatever) Does that make sense how I wrote it?
The thing is, the alternative is not much better.
Snapdragon, I don’t understand any of your comments on this post. I just have no idea what you read up there that prompted these comments but it’s bath time so byeeeeeeeee 
I could sure use a glass of Capolla!
Or Coppola!
Yeah, it can be hard to follow when it’s just words.
I wonder if I could make you a lasagna and ship it. It’s all I know how to do…the making of lasagna…and then you’re Italian and I can’t send an Italian lasagna. Dammit! In my heart, I’m sending you lasagna, Elsa. Until I think of something better.
Obviously I don’t know anything about the principal… But I know I wouldn’t hold it against you if you didn’t remember me during and after all that. I can see how it would be unnerving though.
That’s a cool photo, it looks like some kind of vortex. Makes me want to dive right im there! Don’t tell me what it really is….
oh Elsa, you must have LOTS of Libra…I could never take a bath every night with another human being (especially the same one every night) although I am not opposed to wet fun. Not liking to share a tub, must be my fear of drowning…
Are any of you guys on face book, I would like to invite you? Oh, yes, and I was kidding around up there somewhere ~~shhhhh~~~
I don’t miss your point of the super heavy stress, Elsa, I get it, the deepness of the wound and the trauma is like … I don’t know…like (probably like) getting walloped by a few doses of electroshock therapy which blacks out parts of your memory.
I do not feel sympathy but I do feel the utmost compassion. I’ve got that nasty Pluto Rx riding right back to apply to my MC, nodes and all angles again…EW.
Not recognizing the woman might also indicate that some of those ‘bureaucrats’ types are not particularly memorable, yep, even the principal, or maybe expecially the principals…no offense to the bureaucrats who hang out on Elsa, I am sure that you guys are all quite memorable.
Well, I for one am on facebook…
Elsa, I feel incredibly humbled and grateful for sharing these pluto-moon stories with us because as you said they are so deeply personal. Im not going to begin to imagine what you’re feeling but I have this aspect natally (a sqaure)so I get the rawness of this aspect. Thankyou for writing
BTW I am on facebook too.
“Not recognizing the woman might also indicate that some of those ‘bureaucrats’ types are not particularly memorable, yep, even the principal, or maybe expecially the principals…”
Loonsounds - I wish this were the case but she was actually very involved and personally tutored my daughter to catch her up in math after she missed nearly a month of school. There is no excuse for my not recognizing her except the one I offered. The psyche does things when stressed that is all there is too it.
Just imagine a stream of people coming up to you at a funeral. Later will you be able to recall who said what? Not if you’re me. Eraaaaase.
I don’t think it’s this way for everyone. Some would probably remember every word and nuance but I’ve got that Saturn Neptune things going and I can (and do) erase reality like nobodies business.
I can feel your pain Elsa. Unfortunately there’s not much I can do to help from over here.. just send you words of friendship and support..
Thanks for the blog btw!
I understand completely why you did not recognize the principal. The routine “back to school” thing would be very difficult, as it is not, and will never be, like it was. Of course, no one has forgotten you. Trauma makes people very unforgettable.
If I had been the principal or another mother however slightly involved in the story, I would have approached you and asked how YOU were doing, then I would have knelt down and talked to Vidroid/Tumbler and tried to start his day with a smile and happy heart.
And if had not remembered my name, that would be okay. You would know that I care and that’s all that matters. Every morning you pick up the pieces and start anew. You have my respect and admiration.
{{hugs}}
I have never commented before Elsa but I feel like I know you. There is no right or wrong in your situation. I do wonder why you haven’t transferred your son to another school rather than go through this. Do you think your soul needs to revisit? Just wondering? God Bless you and your family.
mb - he badly wants to go to this school, he never wanted to leave it. It is a school for gifted children - as far as I am concerned it is the best school in the state and my kid is ambitious… (Sun Saturn).
He is so damned happy to be back… he would kick my ass if I took him out, as would the soldier..
Hey snapdragon, maybe you could invite me to facebook as I am on hot mail under my usual name only there is a number 3 after it. Thanks )
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