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Her Boyfriend Says Something Is Missing In Their Relationship - Astrology-Based Advice
Hey Elsa!
My boyfriend and I have dated on and off for the past 9 months, we’ve been very comfy and I was for the first time, completely ready for nesting and maybe someday, babies. The sex is great, the energy calm, but he seems so skittish about the future. He finally told me he can’t stay committed to me b/c he says there’s “something missing.” He’s said this about EVERY relationship. Is there any hope for him coming around or should I just hit the road running?
Signed,
Grand Cross in My Chart
Dear Grand Cross,
You should probably hit the road running if you’ve discovered you want to nest and have children, because he’s told you he doesn’t. But what bothers me more is this guy’s attitude - “something is missing”. It suggests something is missing with you, and though I appreciate he’s always has this problem and apparently has copped to same…well he must like it that way. He must like running through women, because otherwise he’d be trying to figure it out and fix this.
What it sounds like what he’s figured out, is that he likes to be non-committed and this is his story. “Something is missing,” he tells the women. Well hell. I’d say this guarantees the woman will walk at some point which I think is exactly what he wants and ultimately, exactly what he’s going to get.
Sorry and good luck.
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9 Responses to “Her Boyfriend Says Something Is Missing In Their Relationship - Astrology-Based Advice”
To say something is missing and not do something about it is a cop out. He should make a decision to stay or go. If he doesn’t make it, Elsa is right - get on out of there and find someone else.
I married a guy who was never entirely satisfied with life. eventually he decided that was somehow my fault and got rid of me. I don’t recommend it.
This guy is just treading water, putting in minimal effort, and waiting for something better to come around. “Something is missing” - yeah, his balls.
i’m sorry to hear this, “grand cross.” it’s one thing when you are aware of what’s going on in a relationship and you can openly address any issues. but “something’s missing” is pretty impossible to address.
i know you probably don’t want to just toss soemthing that you value. if you thought he just needs a little time or whatever, then you could probably ride it out. but if you’re just hearing stuff to the effect that he isn’t getting the magical charge out of it he expect, what on earth can you do with that? there’s no reason to think it’s just an issue of holding out, because he’s clear that this is consistent for him. very not about you, you know?
i have known some couples with similar commitment issues; there are times when one person does decide to move on that the other person comes to the realization they do want to pursue a more committed relationship, but you can’t count on that, obviously.
ultimately, i think you are best off respecting both his choices and your own. you may or may not end up together, but whereve you end up, you can be there with integrity. you know what i mean?
peace out.
kind of like satori said… it sounds like he’s missing a piece of himself and expects someone else to come along and fill it. not your job.
i think… you can grow inside a relationship. but it helps to be all of yourself first….
Hi Grand Cross, your question has been placed for comments, so I decided to share my point of view on this, hope you don’t mind. If your boyfriend told you he can’t stay committed it is because you somehow asked him, proposed or signalized a commitment. But some people won’t commit until the need comes from themselves, not from the partner. And not because they hate commitments but because they need to be in control, and accepting the partner’s proposal would be giving over the power to the partner and therefore loosing themselves (in their mind). I had this same issue and run away from several proposals, but if one of my boyfriends would have put his love over his need for commitment, I would still be there with him. They left and married someone else, of course, and I don’t blame them because I understand their needs too. I would say, if you truly love him stay without commitment - in a commitment to your own feelings. But if he’s not that important to you, and you want to marry and have children soon, look for someone who doesn’t have this issues.
With your beautiful grand cross you may love freedom yourself too, looking for stability through partnerships (Saturn in 7th house).
“To say something is missing and not do something about it is a cop out.”
Ah, you’re right dolce. But I’m kind of like that guy. If the energy were calm and “ready to settle down,” days would run together and I would get bored of my entire relationship in retrospect. No matter how unique and special Grand Cross may be, I would get bored of her too. Possibly this guy is uncomfortable about the doldrums and a spiceless life (regular, calm sex, babies), but wants to keep Grand Cross so therefore he’s whining that something’s missing without moving one way or the other. He wants a win win situation, though that would mean being in limbo and pissing and moaning. Hmm. If this is the way in every relationship, he will always get to that “something’s missing” point no matter how many new girls he goes through, without having the necessary imagination to see the relationship in a fresh way or to be pro-active and work at it. Not being jaded requires energy, being jaded and unsatisfied is easy. Whether you want to go through a thing like this is your choice, Grand Cross.
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I think what is “missing” for this guy is freedom.