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My Terrible Dilemma… And Please Don’t Fix Or Save Me Pleads Libra
Astrology in real life
Such a dilemma! I imagine it’s Saturn’s transit through Virgo (due to oppose Uranus) but in whatever case I am very aware I best take care what I say.
Now don’t go trying to fix me or tell me I’ve no need to censor myself because how would you know? Further, you won’t be suffering any of the consequences so it’s none of your business but here is the point of this blog, and my frustration.
I’ve come to the conclusion I can say whatever I want but I best say it on a video. It seems my appearance (dramatically) alters how my communications are parsed which makes sense. Because without the visual, all you get is my Mars Mercury conjunction which is very sharp and cocky. Basically it is very easy to put people off but if I get on the camera well what?
Well for one thing, I am almost always smiling so how heinous can I be, hmm? Just how cold and calculating a bitch can I be with that dipshit grin of mine?
And then there’s the emotion. Seems I fog over on at least half of these and I think this is good for my image, LOL. That’s Venus in Leo for you. Give me an image or give me death.
So I have decided this (a miracle for Libra) but I am frustrated and delayed because I just don’t want to get on camera these days. It’s mostly because my son is out of school. Besides running him to and fro, his pal is over a lot and I just don’t want them to hear me talking into the camera.
The upside is school starts early August and until then I guess I suffer. But this just goes to show you how this works online. If all people have is your writing, you are going to be perceived as whatever your Mercury placement shows and I’d know. Ten years ago I sent my picture to a mailing list I’d written on for 2 years and people flipped out.
Having judged me by my writing voice it was assumed I looked like a “mack truck” or a “ball-busting lesbian with a crew cut…”
Does your writing voice match your visual self?
40 Responses to “My Terrible Dilemma… And Please Don’t Fix Or Save Me Pleads Libra”
Hi Elsa. No, and I am not sure that it is possible. Do you remember that you were surprised when you saw my pictures too?
People are surprised when they see my pictures too. Also, for some reason everybody thinks I am a vegetarian.
I have no idea if my writing voice matches the way I look. But I have taken note for a very long time (Venus in Libra) how important it is to me to hear people’s voices, and how sensitive I am to the sound quality of their voice. (I am a singer among other things). This became an issue, what, 15 years ago?, when suddenly people were hooking up via the Web/Internet bulletin boards and so on. You get to know someone via their writing, but for me the next step always had to be telephone conversations. Even then, you could still be very shocked when you actually saw/met the person in real life. Nowadays pictures of people are ubiquitous on the Web, but also then people are very scrupulous (or unscrupulous) about which picture(s) of themselves they choose to publish. Elsa is very honest (and it’s appreciated) for using video, and I’m sure it works positively for her mission here.
I really don’t know. my ex-husband said no, but then he also parked down the street at 4am cos he didn’t want to wake me. ::rollseyes::
— Does your writing voice match your visual self? —
Pretty much. Not a surprise though, as Merc and Asc are both in Scorpio.
Its probably better behaved . . LOL Merc in capricorn . .
I think I’m more Gemini (Sun, Merc and Jupiter) in text and generally on the computer. I’m more Scorpio in person. Much more reserved initially when I meet people at first, even if I’ve been very open and chatty with them online.
I’m not at all unified, though all the voices in my head talk to each other these days so that’s good at least. 
I don’t even sound the same to myself, so I’m going to have to vote no on this one. 
Chalk it up to Mercury trine Neptune, eh?
The first time I posted a picture of me on my blog, people were saying I looked like they imagined, so I guess I match.
Well Elsa, I WISH I were someone who has a ‘natural’ smiling face like you do. In my opinion, you do sound very different on the telephone than your smiling video image and classic scoop neck shirt portrays.
I ALWAY have to remind myself - go ahead, smile. I never smiled until about 6 months ago got struck stupid when I first fell in love.
When people meet me in person after knowing me on the telephone for years, people are always shocked at how small and refined I look. More than once people have said, gee i just can’t believe that such a big roar can come out of such a tiny person (not to mention my perpetual potty mouth). I have gemini Sun, Mercury and Venus
I’m sort of surprised that you even wish to explain to us ‘why’ you don’t want to video right now. but maybe that’s the Libra wanting us to have the balance between the very direct and the dipshit (your words) grin. I bet that grin has saved your butt many times– As in how can I take her head off for saying something like that when she has such a nice smile. I think that’s a gift Elsa.
I agree that your videos alter my perception of you. There is a warmth and earthiness that comes through. I think you’re right about the Mars coming across in your writing.
I don’t know if my writing matches my physical appearance.
To a degree - mercury / pluto conjunction in first house. So maybe that explains the degree to which it matches.
But I also am much more extroverted in my writing than in person. It maybe because writing feels so intimate. Even online. The “room” never feels very big, so my voice can fill it. Out in the world, it feels like a very big room, and it’s too much for me to try to fill. WHY I feel like my voice has to fit the room, I’m not sure.
Elsa, I wonder if I would have called you for a consultation if I hadn’t seen your videos. And I include in that, the videos you made before Christmas, when you seemed really vulnerable. Ironically, this is when I first started reading your blog. Not that I prefer one over the other, I mean I love your writing too. Actually, I get a great deal out of your writing. It’s direct and raw and funny, and I need that kind of expression in my life, now more than ever. Anyway, I so appreciated having the visual when I was talking to you on the phone. Funny, eh?
OK, first of all, it’s not a “dipshit grin”. It’s cute. (maybe not what you want to hear, but don’t sweat it as you already know, it works for you).
It’s true - you do fog over! Almost seems like you’re trying to find your train of thought, sometimes, lol.
I am also suffering having the kids underfoot! How am I supposed to get any work done? But then I feel guilty because it’s supposed to be their summer holidays.
Well this post really made me think. I have written a gazillion e-mails to my crush, and (considering the content) now I wonder how (or if) his image of me changed…
I thought it was when you were on the video people were thrown off by your shiney hair 
I am glad you have the ability to know when you need to sensor yourself. What needs to come out will when you need it to.
Oooh my goodness Elas this post has me in absolute hysterics. I just cant stop grinning seriously. I know I was lurking around here mid 2006 and I loved your writing but I suppose my packed 8th house likes the fact your writing cuts through the bullsh*t, its both deep and yet harilious. I must say when I saw you videos the visual of you does soften the mars mercury. As soon as you face pops up I smile, its infectious.
My mercury is in Libra in the 8th conjunct Saturn so I think writing wise I come across more serious and deep then I appear which is sweet & and innocent or not really there (Pisces ASC)
On another note I was trying to do video blogs for my own entertainment but I’ve been stalled. People are always here so theres no way this scorpio is getting on the camera in front of people and now I have a sore throat. So Ive been frustrated but this post made day, you’ve vented for me.
That’s fascinating When I started reading your blogs, I had an image of you as a friendly and helpful, but very straightforward and assertive person - you just write what you think, not trying to put it mildly or gently. If someone is disturbed by your words, especially in the advice blogs, the better for them, because they would be more likely to do something about it. But when I saw the videos, you seemed much warmer, gentler and somewhat Libra-like (difficult to explain in what way - the smile and dimples, or perhaps it’s Jupiterian?)
This blog also reminds me of a friend of mine, who used to be very active on various Internet forums and was always perceived as very argumentative, even provocative, sometimes writing things just for the sake of shocking someone (Mercury square Uranus, Mars in Gemini in 3rd). But when I meet him in person, or even talk on the phone or Skype - his tone of voice and facial expression change the impact of everything he says. I just see his words as a kind of joke and himself as a little boy (yes, he’s over thirty and he still acts like a boy) who is bored and wants to have some fun with no bad intentions (Ascendant conjunct Moon, Jupiter in the 1st).
As for me, people often report the difference between their perception of me based on my writing and the perceprion of me in real life. On the basis of my writing, I’m often seen as quite self-confident and talkative, sometimes showing off my knowledge. I was also once accused (and this was very unpleasant) of being too self-centered, of thinking in a “me, me, me” way, of writing too much about myself and of shifting virtually every conversation to my own problems. (I have Mercury in Leo conjunct Jupiter in the third, sextile Mars in Gemini). And guess who was criticizing? A fellow Mercury in Leo, who might have been frustrated by the impossibility of monopolizing the conversation But when it comes to a direct contact with me, people often see me as shy, insecure and vulnerable (Sun in Cancer in the 1st house).
Hm, I see the same person either way. Meaning of you, Elsa. Any differences are minor.
I’m told I act like how I write (act, not speak - I’m not a “talker”). I do think if I brought some of my specific writings and read or displayed them on-camera or in real life, it would be shocking to some. The music blogging in particular would be “off” to the perceptions/assumptions of some because I don’t look anything like what I listen to - though what I’d have to say about it would be identical in essence. I’m far more prone to “wander” when I’m talking… hence why I write and prefer to write.
Thanks for taking the time to fill us in on your dilemma, Elsa. I have been enjoying the videos you’ve posted lately but was wondering why there were no new ones?
I think I have a much easier time continuing a ‘flow’ while I’m writing. I fin expressing myself much easier too, than in person.
I worry excessively about being misunderstood when I’m face to face (Sun square Saturn, maybe–but then again I have Sun square Mercury, although Merc is part of a yod,so that might explain it).
As far as the Mercury being part of a Yod, I do feel that in writing my true self comes through and not so much in person. I have my Dad’s family’s trait of looking unreadable yet ‘penetrating’ when I’m not speaking/smiling and have been told more than once I look angry or whatever.
I’ve also been told by more than once to ’stop trying to read people’s minds’ which I’m sorry–your mind is really not that interesting right now.
Fortunately at one point in my life my Dad told me point blank I had to stop feeling so free to make eye contact it and hold it directly. I’ll listen to someone and look right at them and never look away–not because I’m trying to intimidate but I thought it made people feel listened to.
I’m sure all of this is Scorpio MC.
I find as I get older I’ve learned to weed out more insecure types from my life. I don’t have the capacity/mental health to counsel people not to be afraid of me.
My Sun and Mercury both oppose my Scorpio MC which is conjunct Uranus, which I think is a bit of a trouble maker (for me), but preferable for a freedom loving Sagittarius ASC.
Kashmiri writes, “I find as I get older I’ve learned to weed out more insecure types from my life. I don’t have the capacity/mental health to counsel people not to be afraid of me.”
Brava! Hey, some us like that intense, Scorpionic eye contact you know. I applaud you for being true to yersef.
sort of.
i’m actually often pretty quiet and reserved, so maybe not. but once i start talking, yeah… but it depends on who’s around.
i often have to really trust people before i’ll say what i _really_ think.
or, for some reason, be in a classroom.
Thanks SaDiablo–of course I worry about a sentiment like that being taken as arrogant so it’s nice to be HEARD! And I certainly have people in my life who like it as much as you do, too, which is a huge bonus
NP, kashmiri, I’m in the same boat. It can be frustrating (to say the least) and even one rock-solid supporter makes a huge difference.
Yeah!!! Soften that Mars-Mercury conjunction!!!!
That’s interesting, never thought about this before. The videos show a more accurate version of you than just your writing.
People seem to perceive my writing voice and real voice as being much softer and more yielding than I actually am. My appearance seems to encourage this too as I smile a lot. But my inner self is quite tough, I’m not nearly as soft as I seem. Mercury in Pisces, Gemini Asc opposed Neptune, cardinal t-square. I’m a paradox I guess
“Does your writing voice match your visual self?”
To that I have to give a most emphatic NO, not at all. Not at all. My very strong Pisces rising seems to really cloud over the strong, assertive, opinionated and intelligent person that I am.
In my case it is not the smile (which is bound to modify, favorably, the way people hear one, and whether or not they are even willing to listen). No, it’s not the smile, lets call it the Neptune fog. Also, with the mutable rising sign, I have many different ways of coming across, depending on the day.
Also, Pisces is a soft, feminine and often blurry energy. People often underestimate me which is something that tends to work to my advantage because they kind of act like no one is there, and they get shocked.
Also, my writing voice sometimes comes out much more seriously negative when I am only just messing around on some topic that I don’t even really care about that much. I am working on watching that.
I’ve no idea, but I suppose not since all my pics tend to look different (and people always tell me that my pics don’t look like me *wtf??*)…I blame Neptune on the midheaven…
Loonsounds, I loved your post! (especially as another Pisces rising!) :o)
Kashmiri, I’d love to meet you sometime (frig, if I ever get out of this place - almost can’t remember the last time I was down that way). We could sit there and stare intently at each other, LOL! We could wear “I have Scorpio” t-shirts….
Hey, Elsa should have a big Blog get-together!
Sa, I can’t remember, do you have Scorpio in there somewhere?
Loonsounds, do you think that the Pisces Asc. is a problem for you, or do you just use it. Haha…suck people in, then…Whamo!
@ Loonsounds
YES!!! I feel you!!!
My very strong Pisces rising seems to really cloud over the strong, assertive, opinionated and intelligent person that I am.
I have a pisces rising at 28th degree, but have all these stellium in the aries in the 1st house!!! Very annoying!!!
People often underestimate me which is something that tends to work to my advantage because they kind of act like no one is there, and they get shocked.
Yes!! Underestimation is often the first reaction I receive. Some want to either step all over me, or “protect me.” I’m a warrior, I don’t need protection. Anyway, I discovered a way to use thi pisces rising, and it’s usually to allow the person to have control, or give them the illusion of control, while working on whatever you have to do. Freeedommm.
But it is quite annoying though, to have all of these firey planets and be perceived as some helpless thing.
Snap, just Uranus in Scorp, but Pluto hits a bunch of personal planets and Moon in 8th - there’s some intensity there.
You know, Sa, I just can’t imagine life any different. Maybe with my Pisces rising, people don’t always see it. But the intensity is pretty much always there.
Snap–I’d totally see you down in these parts. We could just have a coffee and shoot the shit about astrology or whatever you/we like.
Sa Diablo - on this point:
“Brava! Hey, some us like that intense, Scorpionic eye contact you know. I applaud you for being true to yersef.”
I have first house Pluto and agree.
A family member told me last week - “Quit staring at me like that; I know you’re listening, but please stop looking at me like that.” And I can’t help it anymore than the natural color of my hair.
I’d told her before, I was just intently listening. And meant no particular invasion.
But - I read once a description of the difference between Pluto and Uranus - where someone said essentially - that “Where Uranus is like guns, Pluto is like bombs.”
And this made sense to me - energy-wise. Can I help my intensity? In my life lessons, it’s better to release it than hold it in. So. If it must be that, when I look at people, they feel as if they’re staring down the barrel of something. Well then so be it. I mean no harm. And it’s just how I look.
And on my journal (relevant with Mercury conjunct Pluto), I have the tag line “Portal to the world of mad, mad, mad dancer” and then an image of my eye, with a universe inside it. Because I know this is how I see, and, apparently, is how I seem to look into other people.
It’s just what I got. I think it’s beautiful. But feel badly when someone feels violated it. Then I just want to walk around with sunglasses:)
Althera–I think I understand. But I guess it’s my Dad’s Libra nature–he’s just like: people can’t deal. And it’s true. I respect a person’s desire to be true to themselves, but sometimes the need to ’smooth over’ becomes important–or even just: I can’t give a fuck, I just can’t be bothered explaining? takes over?
Kashmiri, next time (??!!) I’m down that way - i’ll be sure to look you up :o)
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Faulty equipment. No can fix.