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Aquarian Musician Has Talent But Can’t Quite Make First Chair: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
One of my occupations is performing the flute. It seems as if I’m always placed second chair when I feel I can do better. Then, on those rare occasions when I do get to play first, circumstances are such that prevent me from doing my best, and it makes me want to shoot myself in front of the director because now he thinks I’m not a good player.
Other instrumentalists see my worthiness for first chair, but when I actually get the spot, something always goes wrong. For instance, a few months ago I had a beautiful solo as first chair, but that time was extremely stressful for me at my other job (teaching), and I had a nasty cold and a massive abscess in my nose that was spewing mucus and giving me the biggest headache. Needless to say, I messed up because I was in physical pain and found it so hard to focus.
Then, a few weeks ago I was assigned first flute for another gig, but my music didn’t arrive until 2 days before the rehearsal! I had only 48 hours to learn 15 pieces, whereas everyone else in the group got their music on time and had plenty of time to practice. Needless to say, I messed up.
This seems to be a recurrent trend since age 13, where I feel slighted out of first flute position. I’m starting to feel as if this is my destiny… to always be in the second spot, and if I am in the limelight, something’s gonna go wrong. Is there something in my chart that indicates that I’m meant to suck whenever I’m in the limelight? Or is this a 14 year long transit of some sort, astrology’s cruel joke on my performance career?
Or do I really suck, and my chart indicates that I have major ego issues or an unrealistic picture of my abilities? I’m usually not someone who asks for help, but on this topic, I am at the end of the straw! I would greatly appreciate some insight from you. Thanks!
Aquarian
United States
Dear Aquarian,
No you don’t suck but I think your problem is complex and beyond what can be resolved in this format. But I can give you a few tips to which others may relate.
Regardless of its nature, when you have a pattern this well established it’s a safe bet you are going to have to work very hard to change it. It’s as if you have cut a path and you can be sure to fall right into it every time… if a struggle for consciousness is not made. As to the specifics of what is driving all this, I can see a couple components right off the bat.
First you have Venus in Capricorn, which gives an innate feeling of unworthiness as well as both a fear of failure AND success. This is probably subconscious to a degree but you can see it play out in that you make sure one way or the other that you do not hold that top position.
Now you also have Mars in aspect to Neptune, which tends to dissolve the drive when a person does not act consciously. For example, your music did not arrive on schedule, but why not go hunt it down?
If you can focus on and resolve just these two things, you would be well on your way to solving your problem and I can also tell you that that victim position will never, ever, ever work. In other words, your “close but no cigar” pattern is not due an oppressive force outside yourself.
I hope this does not strike you as harsh or critical because it is not meant that way. Personally, I would like to see you in the first chair and I am pretty sure this is the path to take to get there.
Good luck.
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9 Responses to “Aquarian Musician Has Talent But Can’t Quite Make First Chair: Astrology-Based Advice”
A thing I’ve noticed about Aquarians (I used to run around with a lot of them) is that they somehow have a very hard time getting stuff done and following through. They’ll have genius-level talent and then somehow they never make it quite pay off. You may just plain need to work harder and get in gear more because it’s harder for you to make it all the way up that mountain. Talent alone can’t carry you, you need the drive. The Capricorn work ethic may need to come into play. I’m not saying you’re a slacker, but you will need extra boost compared to say, whoever is currently first chair.
Good luck!
Elsa is totally correct to highlight Mars square Neptune, it’s a really self-sabotaging aspect and it’s especially interesting that it physiologically corresponds to the discharge of pus or mucous, so that for me is an absolute no-brainer. It also denotes an unconscious inferiority complex (inability to actualise the will, thus feelings of powerlessness) which is (due to the nature of the square aspect) promulgated psychically.
Elsa’s advice is also spot on, you have to really define your objectives and make a habit of maintaining focus in all your activities otherwise you risk having things just break down.
Okay, sorry for hijacking, I just had to say 
I have mars square neptune and I would say that I can be forward and seek out what I want/deserve but I am still thwarted. I can do a great job, and people will still not see it (neptune). It works in various ways. I can suggest a resolution to someone at work for a situation, then they respond like I was asking a question. I have to clarify I was not asking a question but proposing an outcome. Duh?? Was I not clear?? And this happens in various other ways too. I’m not an idiot and I’m not downplaying my abilities. It’s annoying really.
Oh, Aquarian keep chuggin’ along. And Elsa is right about staying focused. Even if I have to say something or do something a few times so people get it, I keep at it.
Best!
What a great answer! I’m also a musician. For some reason all my outdoor performances this season except one have been rained out and at one my tip jar was even stolen! It appears that I’m setting up a disgusting pattern here. I’m ready to offer myself as an outdoor performer to any area in the USA suffering a drought! That way I could at least be useful.
Mars & Saturn recently passed over my natal Pluto in the 1st house and that made me want to bite the weather, if such a thing can be done. Watch for rain in the Chicago area on the following days: 7/12, 7/19, 8/2, 8/9, 8/23 (unless I take an indoor gig I’ve been offered that day) and 8/30.
Aw man, that sucks. I get thwarted all the time too. I agree with Ewinbee, walls can be climbed - but you’re going against the grain so it will take lots of energy. And if you’re thwarted a lot, perhaps it’s training to learn to climb?
Climb, climb, climb. Stubbornly so. Make it your job. Asking for help works too. So does a sense of humor. Venus in Capricorn can feel like a handicap sometimes. But Capricorn has a sense of comic relief…learn to laugh at the bizarre shit that happens and it will lighten you immensely. You’ll have an easier time climbing!
:raises hand: I’m an Aquarian and have Venus in Cap and I think my Venus is one of my best qualities. Why? Because it is so very good at keeping me focused on the task at hand, as long as I use it. Yep, Aquarians get mentally bored with staying on task, its just so, so restrictive! And yes, we do trip ourselves up by not paying attention to the details and thinking that all our wonderful qualities makes up for the few times we drop the ball. But, dude, your Venus in Cap tells you that is not how it works. When you are first at anything, you have the responsibility to make it work, regardless of the circumstances. When you have that first chair, part of the job is to make sure you perform regardless. To get what you want, you need to make that commitment to make it happen and then plan your work, work your plan and stay on task. For instance, before your music arrived late, did you do anything to try to fix the situation? Nope, being a typical Aquarian, you thought you’d just go with the flow. Understand, I’m your astrological sister here, so I know how this goes. I’ve done it myself. Own up, man up, and just do it.
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I am someone who is CHRONICALLY thwarted, and I completely agree with this advice. If you are the sort of person who has walls flung up in front of you all the time, the best thing to do is to buy a pair of spiked shoes and some really strong rope.
Almost every wall can be climbed.
Another thing I’ve learned from being thwarted a lot is that I used to not ask for help often enough. Now, I ask for help when I need it, and find myself thwarted a lot less. You may be depending too much on your lonesome.