Astrology And Happiness: Can Happiness Be Taught? Learned? Trained?

21 Responses to “Astrology And Happiness: Can Happiness Be Taught? Learned? Trained?”

1. Ana says on 6/24/08 at 11:20 am:
   

   Indeed it can - you learn to appreciate and value the things you DO have in life, because they can be lost too. You discover what is essential and what can be done without. You become strong. Happiness comes from a place of strength, where you realize you always have the ability to provide the essentials for yourself. And from here it is possible to share happiness with others

2. Stephanie says on 6/24/08 at 11:28 am:
   

   I’ve got a venus saturn conjunction that also squares Cappy moon, so I struggle with this quite a bit. It helps to keep some perspective on it, realize you are making yourself miserable. But Saturn is a bitch b/c realizing you’re doing it to yourself often just makes you tear yourself down more…

3. Dina says on 6/24/08 at 11:36 am:
   

   This song freaks me out/is unconvincing. It seems to mean something other than shiny, happy simplicity just like Everybody Hurts seems to be more complex than meets the eye. Why was he so confused as to why people are happy? Did he think they didn’t have a good reason to be happy?

   I spent time with a friend when she was depressed and it freaked me out. It was like the little things in life, the things that make us happy during the day, the treats and outings we set up for ourselves, for instance, we were shoe shopping and she likes shoe shopping, were too weak to give her any pleasure. It made me feel how weak my own pleasures are, the things that make me happy during the day are so small and they were momentarily sweeped into her own unsatisfied sadness. But at the same time, I thought she was the deluded one, like there was a veil under her eyes, chemical shit that prevented her from enjoying the various good things and treats she set up in front of herself. Wanting to die being so pointless, like she convinced herself that what she had wasn’t worth it using a flawed logical argument. All the clinically depressed people I’ve met, I feel like they have a veil over their eyes keeping them from enjoying stuff, but it seems like those very same people write about how no one understands their condition. I kind of look at them quizzically like the AMF does and try to hold on to the little things that make me happy. (I also have a pretty heavily aspected Jupiter in Pisces, I have lots of faith that at their core, when people are enlightened and exalted, they learn that life is essentially happy)

4. Togi says on 6/24/08 at 12:01 pm:
   

   Absolutely. I am learning how to be happy even if it’s listening to a bird sing or smiling at a stranger. I have also learned it is a choice (for those of us who are fairly mentally healthy). When you are surrounded by negativity and people who never let in light, it can bring you down but you can repell that energy too. All greats acts of human spirit and courage have been choices made to reach for the light. So simple really, but it took me a long time to get here. PS: I am not talking about stupid happy. People who are so disconnected from suffering they don’t see it, but having a broad perspecitive on the human condition and still choosing joy.

5. ewinbee says on 6/24/08 at 12:12 pm:
   

   Yes.

   My entire outlook changes when I keep to a very strict diet. Which sounds completely bizarre, and you’d better believe it’s hell of bizarre to experience, but it does happen. I turn from my usual melancholy, dramatic, overanalytical self into Miss Happypants.

   I’m on my diet right now. My happiness levels have been increasing. *shrug* It happens. I’d stay on it forever, but it’s just not always possible.

   I’ve also seen this with people and relationships a lot… you’re not supposed to base your happiness on who you are with, but being with the right person and/or ceasing to be with the wrong person can do wonders for someone’s general outlook.

6. Foxxy says on 6/24/08 at 12:18 pm:
   

   I’ve done a lot of work on learning to be a happier person, and I have made a lot of progress. I am certainly a MUCH happier person, and a person with strategies that help me secure/feel more happiness. But there is definitely a strain of unhappiness/misery that ebbs and flows.

   Incidentally if I remember the guy who wrote the above song wrote it while he was depressed. He was being sarcastic. He has often spoken about his battles with depression in the press.

7. omie says on 6/24/08 at 12:25 pm:
   

   ewinbee,

   I think this is a really good and seldom belived point:

   I’ve also seen this with people and relationships a lot… you’re not supposed to base your happiness on who you are with, but being with the right person and/or ceasing to be with the wrong person can do wonders for someone’s general outlook.

   Thanks for saying so.

   In my natural state I’m pretty happy, but I am also deeply affected by life around me. For the sake of some people I love, I hope happiness can be learned. I think to an extent, it is a habit like any other, and a chemical process that your brain gets used to repeating.

8. a. says on 6/24/08 at 12:28 pm:
   

   I’m not sure if happiness can be learned. I hope so.

   My moon (which i associated with the emotions/moods) is well-aspected, but it is conjunct pluto. My Venus (which i think draws people in or repels them) sextiles Jupiter but is in a t-square… so…. I feel intensely whatever it is…. but rarely do i feel a kind of light breezy smiley happy.

   I often feel “relief” — relief from stress or unhappy states. Now, that is different from happy. Or when i feel happy, i’m always looking out the other side, wondering when it will turn– Ironic, that my first name means “happy” or “exaltation”

   Yep, Venus square Saturn here and Virgo Moon….

9. goddess says on 6/24/08 at 12:57 pm:
   

   my husband says i’ve “got that happy thing going.” he’s a double virgo, and worries for sport.

   he also suggests that it’s a partiuclar type of insanity, not seeing or worrying about every potential disaster lurking in the next 30 seconds, but also tells me he feeds off of it at the same time and appreciates it to no end.

10. Jennifer says on 6/24/08 at 1:13 pm:
    

    Well, according to various scientific studies, you can try to boost your happiness set point, but it doesn’t really work in a lasting way. So I think not.

    I consider myself (with many squares in my chart) to be doing well if I can keep myself on neutral. Staying neutral is my goal. Not bouncing with glee to be alive on such a beautiful day, but not feeling mopey either. HAPPY! is highly unlikely to be my natural state, but oh well. It’s hard to be HAPPY! when you have the voice of “YOU SUCK!!!!!” going in your head since birth, after all.

    (Yes, I know there is medication for that. Medication scares the crap out of me.)

11. satori says on 6/24/08 at 2:32 pm:
    

    I’m a moody fuck. when I’m in full swing one way or the other it’s hard for me to manipulate my mood. but when I’m on the way up or down I can usually bring myself into balance consciously.

    I’ve had literally no success, however, in changing the fact that I’m a moody fuck.

    my fex told me my song was a sting song: “no long term predictions for my baby; she can be all four seasons in one day.” it used to piss me off.

12. Loonsounds says on 6/24/08 at 3:27 pm:
    

    “Learned” … ya know, I really don’t know. I’d be surprised if someone hasn’t tried to research this, but I am too lazy to do a search.

    I know that a miserably unhappy person can become blissful in an instant through a spiritual awakening, and (for many)reasonably happy within a few weeks, given a prescription for SSRI’s.

    As I have gotten older I have learned that I do not care so much about ‘happy’ per se, but ’serene’ is fine with me, and [definitely], chronically depressed sux and can be helped in one way or another.

    But whatever that luck thing that allows you to be happy through it all, Elsa, I seem to share that, most of the time. Given the background that I came from, that would blow a lot of the shrinks theories all to hell.

13. Heather says on 6/24/08 at 4:53 pm:
    

    I have to fight off depression and work at being happy, but it does work. I use to try and hide in drugs and alcohol, but then I had kids, so now I hide in them sometimes. Feeling out of sorts, let’s go to the park and swing…it’s hard to be sad while you are swinging!

14. Conny says on 6/24/08 at 5:08 pm:
    

    The same for me, I really don’t care too much about being happy, as long as I am at peace and able to help others to be at peace too. When it comes to moods, I love tears the same than laughters, because they are expressions of our soul. I also had the opportunity to look behind many shiny happy facades and wouldn’t trade an instant of my life for what I saw.
    I don’t think we can learn or be trained to be happy, but we can learn to be grateful.

15. wyrdling says on 6/24/08 at 6:42 pm:
    

    yes. it helps to be able to determine what actually makes you happy as opposed to what you’ve been told (implicitly or explicitly) what should make you happy.

16. Charlotte says on 6/24/08 at 7:03 pm:
    

    Okay. I have been thinking about this obsessively for the last few weeks because I am wrestling with my own unhappiness. It can’t be answered

    There are a lot of happy people on this blog, it’s just the general theme and mood of the comments and entries, which just confirms that like attracts like. It’s my opinion that while unhappy people can find happiness they will always have an unhappy outlook. Of course this applies both ways. Happiness for unhappy people is a choice that must be made, worked at, striven for, struggled towards, whereas for the inherently happy, it comes easier. Like Jennifer said, I read some articles on that happiness theory. Some people’s “happy point” is just lower than others. I imagine those people have a lot of harsh Saturn aspects. Like myself, I don’t think happiness is for me.

    Happy people can’t really understand how an unhappy person sees the world because they both think the other is deluded or just weird. They both look at each other and think “What’s the matter with you? Can’t you just…”

    Hmm, maybe none of that made sense. Sorry.

17. kashmiri says on 6/24/08 at 7:26 pm:
    

    Yes. My Mom did, so I fully believe it. When she met my SO 6 years ago she took a real shine to him and then with a big smile said ‘I cried every day for the first 60 years of my life.’

    She is happy now. Really, genuinely happy, and she worked at it, and she made a Herculean effort.
    I’m sure teaching herself how to orgasm when she was 62 helped, too!

18. Elsa says on 6/24/08 at 7:28 pm:
    

    >>There are a lot of happy people on this blog, it’s just the general theme and mood of the comments and entries, which just confirms that like attracts like.>>

    Charlotte, I think that is a valid observation but want to add that I get a fair amount of mail from people who are (or have been) depressed or suffering. They don’t tend to comment but they are out there and by God, they are welcome.

    It is not that uncommon a person lurk for a year or even 2 or 3 and then send me an email or surface with a comment so at least in some cases - “all boats rise”

19. kashmiri says on 6/24/08 at 7:49 pm:
    

    Charlotte I for one am very glad that you’re here commenting on this blog. When I read ‘I don’t think happiness is for me’ I wondered why you think/don’t think this?

    I’m sorry to pry, but as a person who has (for the most part) overcome depression I feel quite hopeful that other people can, as well ( I remember crying inexplicably on the school bus as young as 10). Is that, er, annoying? Ha ha…
    I do have my bouts of depression and when I do it’s quite serious.
    My meditation teacher taught me to wake up and before I make any moves into the day, make a list of everything I was grateful for. Sometimes it is pathetic:

    “I’m glad there is cream for coffee. That’s all.”

    I tried drugs and they made me feel insane. So I stopped. But I found I could give myself ‘crying days’ and that helped. regulated indulgence in my sadness time.

20. spinner says on 6/24/08 at 7:50 pm:
    

    This is a great blog! So many excellent comments! ewinbee- i have not heard anyone else use the word Happypants, it is part of our family lexicon. That and Grumpypants or Grumpybum. satori- I am a moody fuck too! I do not stay down in the dumps for long though. that’s Mr. Happypants to you.hahahaha

21. Snapdragon says on 6/24/08 at 11:47 pm:
    

    You know, as I said before, it’s so easy to think that “you” are all alone. Everyone else is happy, everyone else has a perfect life. We don’t need to have a big pity party, but it is reassuring to know that I am not the only person whose moods come and go like the clouds in the sky.

    I don’t know if anyone can learn to be happy (as in change and be happy all of the time), but I think a person can definitely learn the self- discipline to not give in and to work on changing the way that they think and as Kashmiri said, look for things to be grateful for, however small.

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