((Lilly)) I sympathize. Change. It’s hard to face the uncertainty…perhaps you would feel less lost if you could imagine the feeling of joy and hope you had when you applied to your program?

I’m bonkers. That’s the only way to put it. Intense fear. Pluto’s doing this dance right on my Ascendant and I feel like I need…something tangible.

@ Lilly
I was thinking the same thing earlier.. “crawl into a hole and die”..
But now… I have no idea what I’m feeling. Swinging from one state to the next, at random… I don’t like this.

Ascendant, Jupiter & NN in early Aries; Uranus in early Cap; Mercury in early Gemini…

Today…:
My SO and I have to make adjustments to our arrangement… I am distrustful of him.
I’ve received (positive) attention from several people I would barely call acquaintances.
I am alternating between being communicative and retiring… I want to be seen and heard but fear the reaction, and/or how I will act once I am actually out in public. I’m feeling skittish….
I am somewhat manipulative and agro… which is part of the reason I am avoiding people. I don’t want to put myself in a position where I may be tempted to screw with others.

There seems to be a definite tendency toward agitation and hermit-ism.. some amount of resentment, envy and jealousy…

It’s a bizarre day, eh!

And now, back to feeling like I should crawl under the covers and avoid any- and everyone..

Gem: congrats! Very exciting stuff, indeed!

Crawling in a hole and dying is what I feel like doing too. Extreme depression. Moon in very late sagg, pluto’s been railroading it for quite awhile now. And now it’s back for some more fun!!!!! I am very, extremely, severely depressed and am a little scared to see what this full moon is bringing my way. My sister tried to severely harm herself two days ago, and is doing ok now. I couldn’t even react, I’ve become to numb in the last year to this kind of crap and it scares me. I feel like the soul has been sucked right out of me.

Ah, I just amputated the person that I asked advice about here on this blog:

http://www.elsaelsa.com/archives/2008/03/25/open-question-how-do-you-protect-and-defend-your-psychic-space/

I said then I have difficulty amputating people but today I had to. She announced she was going to curse me… I think if that’s not the cue to dump, then I’d be really hurting myself.

I can’t imagine what the world will look like when this madness subsides? Is it just me, or is it something in the water?

I just got offered, in all seriousness, a free nose job… wth? This is turning out to be the weirdest of days in a long, long time.

Pisces moon feels super insecure. I don’t know why … I just do.

Pluto is sitting on my Mars conjunct Mercury at 0 deg Cap. Soon to be opposed by Venus and Sun.
Then throw a full moon in very close by. Its all too complicated to get my head around! As work is plodding and money is tight.

I’ve been investigating my family history, in particular my grandmother who spent 40 years in a mental hospital. Am digging up unpleasant family history and writing it. Pluto conjunct Mars - investigating secrets with vigor and Mercury likes writing it.

I found this at astro.com for full moon in Sag(8th House).
Letting go:
The veil hiding the mysteries of life might seem a bit thin at the moment, and things that usually seem stable might feel as if they’re rocking a little. Don’t panic. You’re getting a glimpse of other, deeper levels of reality, and the more open you are to those currents, the richer your life could become, even if it’s only a little glimpse. Sometimes these small partings of the veil come through intense emotional experiences, and that can often mean tension and anxiety - after all, reality is supposed to be solid and rational, and life’s great mysteries have all been explained away. But of course they haven’t, and right now you are likely to realise this pretty powerfully, even if you already knew it before. The secret is to let go of whatever needs to be let go of, and allow yourself to be changed.

Venus and Pluto in late mutable signs (Pisces and Virgo, respectively). I obsessed with a love that is never going to happen– I can’t get it (him) off of my mind or out of my emotions!

I have late degrees in mutable signs, earth, air, fire and water plus early degrees in Cardinal Air and Water.

I am being careful, watching from the sideline. It feels like it is too dangerous to make quick decisions or jump into the game at the moment.

We’re okay. She is in intensive care - We are waiting to know what to do next.

If it helps to remember that there were many of these full moons before and this will not be the last one, and it won’t last. Pluto times are much heavier but they aren’t forever either. And while all of them keep orbiting around us, we are still at the center of the carousel. Blessings, Conny

Today was my first day back at work after a week’s vacation, and it sucked; everybody seemed to have a problem that they’d been saving up for me. This whole being the boss thing is no fun whatsoever.

not my life, but i think this is beautiful:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/06/17/2008-06-17_may_equality_live_long_and_prosper__taka.html

Ascendant at 25 Sagittarius, Mars at 27 Sagittarius. Pluto’s been messing with me for a while now and i’ve definitely felt those old familiar anxiety attacks since it turned retrograde. at the same time i think i’ve gotten so used to it that i have a strange faith in things that’s never graced me before. my energy’s pretty low and messed up but i somehow feel like it’s ok, and if i just wade through it i’ll end up in the right place. i actually had a happier, calmer 48 hours than i’ve had in weeks. today seemed a lot like elsa’s forecast: there’s not really a tangible way to mark the moment of conception, but you can still somehow feel that something is being set in motion. i think i’m finally learning to be excited about that more than worried. the past few years have shown me that even the worst of circumstances lead to exactly the place i’m meant to be. went down to the corner store around 830 and saw the full moon and it was so pretty out and everything seemed like a giant possibility.

june ~ it’s totally the same for me. everytime mercury goes retrograde i tend to have the best luck writing songs - i just realized this this time around and now i’m scrambling to get them finished this week!

best of the best to y’all. . .

Not to mention that I’m in the middle of my Pluto return. Is it any wonder that I feel like curling up in a ball and disappearing?

Similar troubles to the rest of group. Mars Neptune conjunction in late degrees of Sag. My sister has this conjunction too in sag along with her Sun and Mercury in late Virgo. Dark days to say the least.

I wanted to add that I feel a lot of concern for some of you with the descriptions you have given of your very intense depression.

There is no shame in asking for help, I think maybe that it is not necessary for some of you because there is medication that can take a little bit of the edge off of that darkness. It could be the thing that gets you through … it need not be permanent to stay on it, but anitdepressants are really helpful to a lot of people.

I am sure this has been said before, but I felt enough concern to come back on here and say it anyway. Whatever it takes to get you through the darkness, I do feel deep compassion for all of you and wish you all freedom from this suffering.

I found this and thought you guys would appreciate it.

http://www.thecosmicpath.com/doc/weekly.html

“The fact that both rulers are retrograde will send the light of this Full Moon deep below the surface of events, as well as into the past. The light will also go into corners, into shadows, into closets and into our psyches, because Pluto, ruler of the underworld is also part of the action, traveling as he is right next to the Moon. Venus is in the mix, too, standing by the Sun and pumping up the feminine energy of the Moon. Get ready to speak your mind and heart – and prepare to shed ways of thinking that no longer serve you, further your values or come from a place of love. With this planetary combination, words will pour out, some from the heart, some from fear, some from the unconscious, without the speaker intending or realizing exactly what he or she is saying. Nothing will be trivial. Our attention will subsequently flow to how we think and communicate, the words we use and the belief systems we follow; to our beliefs (including fears and prejudices) about women and people who are different from us (particularly because of religion, language, race or place of birth); and to the difference, if any, between what we think and say we value and what we actually do.”

wow! so sorry to hear about all the chaos out there. sending good vibes to everyone hit…

My temper flared again, yesterday afternoon, in regards to someone who once called me his “true love”. I wrote an astrology-related rant out here, but it doesn’t matter - he isn’t worth the energy it took to write it, or the energy it would take for anyone else to read and digest it all.

I’m sorry to hear about everyone who is sick and/or hurting, right now. You’re all in my prayers/thoughts.

@Togi:
Thanks for the link… I’m still confused as to how a free nose job comes out of this, though.. ;P Maybe because of my natal Venus/Sun in Taurus.. Who knows.

Good news followed by bad, unfortunately….

But apparently the worst of our respective situations are done with.. Hope everyone’s getting better.

Thanks, Loonsounds..

On the upside, it’s the death knell of my old life

Sounds like you’ve been having a much harder time than most of us… Wishing you good things.