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Astrology And The Frustrated Mars: Anger, Depression, Resentment, Attacking…
Ask the collective
a asks on Do Miserable People Make You Miserable
This might sound like a weird question, but I’m being serious. How does one know if they are one of those “unhappies” or if they are buoyant?
It’s a great question and I am sure some people have no idea. Other do though. I recall on one of the cock-blocking bits I mentioned (girl)friends who when you start dating a man (and spending less time with them / abandoning them to a degree), they methodically take the man out to restore the status quo and several people copped to doing exactly this.
When your friend is happy, are you able to be happy for them even when you are not happy yourself? I suppose that’s the litmus test.
It is probably most common for people to resent another person’s happiness or achievement of their goals but there are others who know how to be inspired. For example, if it can happen to her or to him, it can happen to me. I hate to say it… to harp on this but what I think it comes down to is a frustrated Mars.
The other day the soldier said something interesting, “You are never going to be anything above average unless you bust your ass!” And then he quoted, Al, “Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration”.
Well excuse me, but the unhappy people refuse to get off their ass and this ties into my theory that depression is also a Mars (anger) turned in on itself. If you DOOOOO something, if you ACT, it does wonders for your anger, resentment and depression. How could it not? But if you instead aim your arrows at happy people, consciously or otherwise - Well you’re going nowhere and I will take this one step further.
There are legions of people pissed off about this blog. “Why does she have an audience? Why don’t I have an audience? I am better than her… my hair is shinier and I’m smarter and I have class and in short I am not lousy like her - That bitch…”
Well jeez. Have you noticed how much effort I put out? And for how long it has been sustained?
So a person can be inspired by this or they can be and angry mess of whatever. They can be jacked up all over the place but a, I hope this answers your question.
When someone in your circle breaks out or breaks through to a new and better place, are you inspired or pissed? In other words, does it get you going or does it get you mad? (See in the Mars in that?)
27 Responses to “Astrology And The Frustrated Mars: Anger, Depression, Resentment, Attacking…”
Whoa– you hit the nail on the head: Depressed people and angry people often don’t like to DO ANYTHING to create the happiness (or success..) that they imagine was simply laid at OUR feet (we optimists, we nose to the grindstoners, that is..)
I am a buoyant one (duh, you all knew that..) and I have WORKED at it.
I gave up the “friends” whose husbands were attempting suicide, whose finances kept them on the PERPETUAL edge of bankruptcy, whose daughters were having unsafe sex (oh, by the way that was just ONE “friend..”)
I can’t hold up angry resentful depressed people who are not working on their own gameplan. Who love to shoot bows and arrows at busy hard workers like YOU and like me.
The “COMPLAINERS” take up space.
I like DO-ERS..for example I belong to a Women’s writer’s club, a branch of a national organization The women in this group ALL work “day jobs” some are lawyers, some accountants, one manages a golf course.. most all have kids and busy busy lives– AND they are PUBLISHED.. ou would recognize some of their work and see it at Borders book store.. they’ve SET GOALS and get up at dawn or work till midnight to get the writing done–because it takes EFFORT to meet one’s goals.
There is not a whiner in the bunch.
We get together to share success stories, and to encourage one another– and I come home ENERGIZED not drained..
Just an example of hanging out with like minded humans..
Mars turned inward YES! depression is creativity,unexpressed..
Wow. This is such a timely post. I just may have lost a dear friend because of these issues–
I had good stuff going on (for the little bit of time that it was happening) and it seemed to get her anxious or . . . create tension. (But very subtle-y) cause she’d never admit to it. I actually called her on it and she turned it back on me! 
She is the type who has a lot of anger but is not cultured to express it (like many women I know, including myself for years) and so doesn’t. And then things get a little passive aggressive because, well, where does it go?
At the same time, a friend just randomly called to leave a message and tell me he was thinking about me and how cool it was that I went and did this thing back in January.
And, at the same time, I’m writing to an ex-boyfriend who has a new girlfriend and who is turning his life around for good (with her help and a little bit of mine and I’m just rooting for him and supporting him.
I kind of like when a friend is rooting for you and supporting you and you’re out there doing it for someone else. It’s a cool chain …
Guess I’ll just stick up for the depressed people here. I’m not depressed, but have recently met a group of people who are through a course I have taken: depression is an illness and I tell you- if they could get out of it they would! It’s a horrible state, that can’t be conquered with willpower alone. A little compassion goes a long way.
I do agree with the mars analogy if you’re using depressed in just the ‘miserable’ sence of the word, “wallowing in your own misery”. It has it’s place for a (very) short while - then move on!!
Amber - I am glad you wrote that, I am sure you speak for a lot of people and I do understand depression is an illness. No doubt I could have done a much better job / been more specific as to what I am talking about but unfortunately I have the head cold from hell and lack patience.
I still essentially mean what I say.. but feel there is a difference between brain chemistry depression and someone who just wants to sit around and complain about how well other people have it when generally the people they are complaining about have it as bad (if not worse) than they do…. they are just proactive about it.
Bottom line, you have to do something about your life - it is your responsibility and you are chemically, clinically depressed then it is still up to you to get to a doctor for treatment.
And I don’t think I lack compassion - Not by a long shot but others may (and do) judge differently.
c) Scared.
Like, they achieved this big thing… why would they continue to like me NOW?
Happened big time recently when my ex-roommate (and very good friend) from college had her first baby. I was too terrified to call her at first, and had to have another mutual friend help me out with it.
Which of course, is pure ego: nothing about the situation had anything to do with me, it was about her, and me getting scared was just me focusing on myself instead of her.
But that’s still always my first reaction.
It depends Elsa,If I love the person or not. In the last case I give myself at the play of feeling in not a fair world, then I left it behind. If neccessary I try not to pretend happyness because that makes me feel something misserable. A friend of mine have a great quote: “It is a great cheer for you!”
On behalf of the clinically depressed folks *smiles*
It’s hard, yes. It’s nerve wracking and painful and difficult and a million other things, I know. But depression is something that can be helped, and honestly even though it’s never easy, it sometimes can be simple.
This is my voice of experience. I have been clinically, chronically depressed for years - probably since at least the early 80’s, which is a long friggin’ time. I got to my ‘if I don’t get help I am not going to survive this’ point several years ago. I’m not trying to be dramatic there, I just know that sometimes you have to get to a place that’s bad enough that you’ll do anything to get out of it, and I did.
It took me days of psyching myself up to make the call to the help line provided through my health insurance. And another couple days to actually leave a message for a therapist. And it took every single ounce of energy I could muster to drive over to her office, park my car, actually walk in.
But ….. but but but
One little step after another little step and pretty soon you manage to move. Fast forward a few years and I’m doing really well most days. I’m off my medication, I’m active and thriving and fairly successful by my own standards, and I didn’t think, in my darkest hours, that this was possible.
I’m not sure why I got started on that (I think sort of in response with/conjunction to Madeleine and Amber above) but two things ….
1 - if someone close to you is depressed, please try to be patient. It’s a harder hole to climb out of than you might think.
2 - if you are depressed, and you can make one tiny little baby step, it will help. I know it sounds silly, but I promise you, it will make a difference. Ultimately nobody can do it but you.
And Elsa, you have more compassion than most, I believe. Hope your cold abates soon.
I probably would have done well to leave depression out of this but again… just not thinking and really too congested and antihistamine-d out to try to write something coherent, plus I am writing something else (to the soldier’s son) right now that is very intense and has what attention I have available focused.
In short, I am sorry for this fire but can’t tend it or put it out right now - I just can’t.
Oh, no worries, Elsa. And feel better! Good luck with your letter to the soldier’s son.
I got your point. I don’t think anyone on here wants to debate people who are clinically depressed - that’s not what this is about.
I understood it to mean people who are just STUCK. They aren’t going to be happy, don’t want anyone else to be happy.
I mean, I have friends who are depressed, are unhappy, are stuck, . . . I am, off and on, we all are, sure, but I think it’s what you do with it that matters.
Own it. I guess.
I read this post as I think Elsa meant it, which was about folks who wallow in their misery and try to bring others down with them. I understand clinical depression because I suffered from post-partum depression with both my kids, and although it was shorter lived than how long people with clinical depression probably have it, it was hell nonetheless. I was speaking about those who choose to be bitter and miserable, and who make it their career to bring others down out of pure spite. I don’t thing genuinely depressed people have time for that.
Yes, bitter, that is a very operative word. Bitter exes will do everything in their power to be around, and, in general, I find bitter people rather a downer to be around even if their bitterness has nothing to do with me. Only one guy, he would go off on a tanget about his ex, but then he would joke on himself by saying, with sarcasm, “I’m not bitter.” That made it easier to be around him, because he had some insight into how he was acting.
Definitely inspired…they give me hope! I get to thinking that happiness is possible, it just happened to someone I know. And I think you can always use more hope, no?
It’s funny, I don’t consider myself a particularly buoyant person, but I’m not a wallower either. I’ll be unhappy with myself over something, but that just drives me to work harder. The unhappier I am, the harder I work, the better the results –> then I’m happy! It is a salvation really, when you realize that you have the power to dig yourself out by sheer effort. I like what the soldier said: “You are never going to be anything above average unless you bust your ass!” You can bet on it.
i call them negative people. it seems less like depression than bitterness to me. a defining belief that the world is and always will be unfair to them, which is how they explain what’s wrong with their life rather than taking responsibility….
Wow, oh my god, great comments here! There is a huge difference between clinically depressed and just plain bitter people. One of my very good friends plumbed the depths of clinical depression. He was not bitter at all, he just really, really needed a lot of help and support and patience from others and he got it and turned it around, got through it and is much much better now! Professionally bitter people never seem to get it.
ps- Elsa, I have noticed!!!
Reading these things makes me thoughtful but sometimes makes me feel bad because I realize I am like this and that people like me are just not good and being good people. I guess we all have our particular past life things to work out and get over in this life. Lot’s of learning to be done. Que sera sera.
“When someone in your circle breaks out or breaks through to a new and better place, are you inspired or pissed? ”
What if you are the person who routinely breaks free? I am it. If I were to break it down astrologically, it’d be Uranus opposed Sun. This is who I am.
I am also on the flip side of the coin. I am the one who always leaves first when it is not working out, and there isn’t one of those decisions that I would undo even if I could.
I am not Aquarius, but I have Jupiter conjunct Uranus only 1 degree apart. Since they are so close together, I think my need for freedom and autonomy and independence (uranus) is enhanced broadened and magnified (Jupiter) giving me something like an aquarian quality.
I have also heard it said that a saturn hard aspect on the moon (in my case a square) allows for a strand of emotional detachment (when I deem it necessary). Once I move into this detachment, the person never even crosses my mind anymore. Maybe it is Aquarius like, and I have also heard that it is a postive thing in terms of spiritual development, this ability to let go completely. But it is more of a ‘let go’ but others may see it as a ‘cut off.’
I keep thinking about this more and more in my life.
Here’s how I’ve come to think of it:
Scenario #1:
Bitter toxic “friend” to her five-year-old son as I play with him (a word game): “Honey, that’s what DoubleCappy does for a living. She dots other peoples Is and crosses their Ts.”
(I’m a professional writer and editor and have written books for people.)
Scenario #2:
Me: “I feel really healed. More so than I ever have.”
Friend who is unhappy and stuck in her life: “You know there’s no such thing as being really healed, right?”
Scenario #3:
Depressed friend: “I don’t know, I mean, its just been years of this misery.”
Me: “Ugh. I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?”
Depressed friend: “I wish. I wish there was something someone can do.”
There’s are all real scenarios . . . the last one is still my friend. He never puts it on me. He never tries to “take” something from me.
Interesting post and comments–depression is always such a hot topic. A lot of depressed patients truly cling to their diagnosis,they have not learned who they may be without their depression–that’s another whole hot topic.. As a Nurse Practitioner I have worked in this field and many many studies support many kinds of ACTIVE treatments that can work as well or better than meds.. so, there is always help.
I too am a compassionate person and I am as Equally PASSIONATE about the same people Elsa and some of you refer to: NOT the clinically depressed who need assistance meds, therapies, exercise, what have you– but the complainers, the whiners, the DO NOTHING ABOUT IT people who take up space.
My husband and I were stuck on a 4 day weekend vacation with a woman who fit this picture..she browbeat her spouse so continually the whole trip, she complained about how the government, the bad air in Phoenix, the price of gas, her boss, and the president were simply making her life miserable. She is overweight, eats like a horse, bags full of potato chips, butter, gravy; she finds fault with servers in restaurants, bank tellers, even little old ladies.. she is up for state retirement with a nice pension in about one year and complained about THAT TOO.. REFUSED to see or talk about ANYTHING WONDERFUL, refused to see an ounce of goodness in anybody.. ..uuugggh..
So I’m still recovering from this trip.. (and we cancelled an outing with them that we had planned in Sept.!)
Hope those of you who need some assistance go get it and those of you who need to get your butt in gear do so also..
And Elsa-bashing is such a silly waste of energy– if any of you don’t agree or feel the need to judge where her or my or anyone’s opinions are coming from, go read another blog!
I think we all get it, Elsa, no worries. And to spinner’s point, yes, absolutely there is a difference between depressed and bitter.
Funny how a little bit of action can help both! Reference Mars comment in the original post:
If you DOOOOO something, if you ACT, it does wonders for your anger, resentment and depression. How could it not?
doublecappy: I hear you. there is a difference between helping a friend who needs an ear, and someone who sucks you dry. You know, emotional vampires. Someone with quirks and someone with ‘conditions’…
A relationship built on a true sense of mutuality wouldn’t suffer solely if one person was in need (spiritually, emotionally, practically).
This might sound weird, but I am no one’s Mom. If I was, I’d have kids. So my relationships require a certain element of independence. I’m not willing to surround myself with misery because it loves company.
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I definitely get inspired and enthusiastic. It lifts me up when my inner circle is happy, exactly because of what we are talking about: When one of us miserable, it affects the dynamic of the whole circle. I love when my friends or family break through to a new and better place, thats big, I think, for somone who has afflicted mars, eh?