Pluto In Capricorn: Psychology, Control And The Shadow Side Of Boundaries Set Between You And Others
Commenting on the comments
Michele writes on Be Careful What You Flush:
“I am thinking it is kind of a thing with Society right now… If this happens, you’re out the door. If that happens, you’re history. There’s tons more where you came from. Umm, I guess I mean a lot less patience, understanding, forgiveness… I’m not sure I’m making a judgment, just an observation.”
Michele - I agree. These are attempts to make boundaries and have some control and I guess my assertion is that people put their boundaries in some pretty weird places for some pretty weird reasons that cost them friends and lovers.
Boundaries are a Capricorn thing and with Pluto’s transit through Capricorn one of the things to be addressed is the shadow side of your boundary.
What is the psychological (probably subconscious) reason that you fire or reject people? Now would be the time to discover this so you don’t drive your life right into the abyss.
For example, it’s common people reject others because they fear being rejected themselves which sets up a wicked, wicked cycle. This alone is enough to devastate a life so you can see how important this is.
20 Responses to “Pluto In Capricorn: Psychology, Control And The Shadow Side Of Boundaries Set Between You And Others”
I was going to be serious about this but since satori’s comment, now all I can think is “get on the BUS!”
I am ready to learn all about boundaries.
“…people reject others because they fear being rejected themselves which sets up a wicked, wicked cycle. This alone is enough to devastate a life so you can see how important this is.”
No kidding. Devastating for both I guess. The rejector eventually gets rejected, they switch sides and ’round it goes.
i don’t reject many people once they hit my inner circle. if someone flakes, i am normally concerned and try very hard to ride out out or understand what’s really going on.
i’ve always believed people were a little too quick in general to “keep score,” especially since everybody has different perspective, and your scoring system is not going to be the same at theirs. if you have the trust, you don’t need the score anyway. and when the trust is violated, it seems to become apparent readily enough.
I’d rather not reject people and I would not have to if some people could just have some basic respect to begin with. Here is a story on from yesterday.
One of my boundaries is that I don’t like all these strangers knocking on my door trying to sell me stuff; it is pervasive around where I live and intrusive as all get out.
It gets my dogs all riled up, get me out of the shower or something…and these sales people, they don’t like to take no for an answer, and none of them care less if it is a convenient time or not.
Worse yet for me, the most frequent offenders are from this meat truck operation, trying to sell big slabs of meat to a vegetarian who is minding her own business.
So I am like, “No I don’t even eat meat, I told you that last time.”
Then they gawk at me like I’m the biggest freak on the planet while I am standing at my own front door. Then, they always say the same damn thing (as I already nod No) they say,
“Well of course you DO eat seafood.”
I am like “No I don’t eat seafood; I tell you that every time too.”
So, maybe this is my symbolic Saturn in Virgo, I finally went out to Home Depot and got stuff & I made this big sign and put it on my front door. It is bright yellow has a big hand held up palm out in the ‘go away’ symbol, and the word PRIVATE in big letters with more letters, gold metal, that I stuck on to say ‘NO SOLICITING.’
It’s an ugly ugly sign, I would think it is very much of a warding off, I can’t imagine, seeing that (and you can not miss it), anyone would think twice about knocking, it might as well read DANGER WILL ROBINSON. (baby boomer joke, it’s an old show, kids.)
So anyway, it was good for about 6 weeks until yesterday some yay-hoo [the type with actual balls, what a surprise] knocks on my door anyway (!), so I go out the other door, and I am like staring at him incredulous and nodding my head at the sign as if to say, “Read much?”
He’s all like, “Well, I am not actually trying to sell you anything” … but of course he was.
What do I need to do, Hang Garlic?
I am trying to think if I regret cutting anyone out of my life too precipitiously, and I would have to say I can’t remember any times when I have regretted it. I tend to have the opposite problem.
I’ve been rejected many times in my life. Sometimes I understood why, sometimes I didn’t - 1st house pluto here. I pick myself up and keep on living. I’m strong (and I can outlast most people).
Just a little thought about people getting fired and the “there’s plenty more where you came from” remark. My mom is a retired psychiatric RN. She told me that back in her younger days, the hospitals would work them like dogs (and treat them that way). Often the doctors and patients alike treated them no better than maids. She told me that one particular time she had pulled two 12 hour shifts in a row and they had the nerve to ask her to stay on for a 3rd shift and she refused - because she was exhausted from no sleep and afraid she would be a danger to the patients. The hospital administrator got verbally abusive with her and told her that she was “damn lucky to have a job.” But, you are right, things do run in cycles and now nurses are in short supply. Now, the hospital is “damn lucky to have a nurse.”
*sigh*
i’d like to learn some of that skill of letting go getting burned in the past.
i think maybe i’m a little better at it.
pearls grow out of irritation, don’t they? i wonder what that means about cancers and their sensitivity (as opposed to my weird more neptunian form of sensitivity….) ?
I’ve heard the herb mugwort does something to ward off undesirables. Just old herbal lore…
It was pretty much right here that I learned all my rejections have been my own.
“What is the psychological (probably subconscious) reason that you fire or reject people? ”
I don’t like anything that resembles proselytizing.
I’m positive I’ve been both preacher and heretic in former lives–as well as persecutor and persecuted.
People who try to enlist me in certain things meet resistance. You know: witchhunts or religions or monthly payment plans (the usual). Scheduling weekends. Itineraries. People who try to tell me ‘what’s good for me.’ I have a mum and dad, and only they get to pull that trip on me.
Now that I mention it…they don’t!
However, I’m not so bothered if they’re an Aquarius or Gemini, and therefore are (a) nonplussed if I join or not, or (b) just want a buddy to join in on the fun, and are still unaffected if I join or not!
Oh, and people who can’t apologize piss me the hell off.
Thinking about rejecting people, I was glad to be reminded by Lisa, above, that a couple of times it was me that was rejected, and how much that hurt because of the people involved. They were people (the two I have in mind, anyway) for whom I felt a lot of love, gratitude, etc. I felt I was judged harshly by one, without any chance to defend myself, and the other rejected me simply because she had some very much other things to do, like get married and have a family. Her husband didn’t understand her having male friends (at least I very much suspect that was the cause). It’s all reasonable, I suppose. I miss these two women in my life. The one who judged me, I thought would be a friend for all my life.
I don’t know, if someone wishes to get rejected (follow patterns) they seem to do that all on their own.
kingsley
Thank you, Kingsley! Well said! But how do you break the pattern of following patterns?
Hi Peppermint, I know you asked Kingsley this, and I’ll look forward to his answer as well, but from out in the fields here, where I’m trying to break all kinds of patterns, I think it takes doing something a little different, being uncomfortable for a while - and a whole lot of examination and introspection and . . . responsibility.
Ah, yes, I hear you loud and clear. Examination and introspection to determine what the patterns are, more introspection to see your part in making and attracting them, and even more examination to figure out how and where and what to change. And making those changes, a little at a time.
Thanks for the kindness of sharing what you’ve learned - you’ve been very helpful.
Hard topic, for me that is. Almost every post made me tear up just a little bit, people seem to sometimes have lack of responsibility for how they treat others until they are the one in need. It’s not like you even needed them says the Gemini! But yes, maybe I attracted rejection in my weird form of hiding in my shell. It doesn’t make the pain anymore easy, to not have someone watching that knows the truth.
What a perfect bit to ponder as I continue my life from a field in the high mountain desert.
Elsa you said:
”
For example, it’s common people reject others because they fear being rejected themselves which sets up a wicked, wicked cycle. This alone is enough to devastate a life so you can see how important this is.”
Wyrdling said:
“pearls grow out of irritation, don’t they? i wonder what that means about cancers and their sensitivity (as opposed to my weird more neptunian form of sensitivity….) ?”
We hauled ourselves and our teeny tiny home on wheels to create a boundary. There are some things that my body cannot tolerate. My sensitivities may be exaggerated by the influence of Neptune, and however that plays out in the whole life I will need to float whenever possible.
Wyrdling, my experiences with auto-immune issues and sensitivities is a work in progress, this Pluto in Capricorn period is teaching me to recognize both the shadow and the light sides of boundary setting. If I don’t set clear boundaries my health(through learning what my needs truly are) is compromised and when I do set the boundary a loss of friends and family is always possible, there can be no room for my body to heal without the boundary. It’s messy and complicated.
Now, in this field living with the horses, I get a new perspective. A home on wheels does that for me … a Neptune bonus? Capricorn in Pluto for me a Scorp Sun and Pluto Moon will give me lots of opportunity to re-look at setting boundaries while also leaving room for interaction … flexible boundaries based on trust, and renewed health (because I have learned to set firmer boundaries necessary at times)
Hasn’t it always been like this? I don’t see it any different now than before but this people flux has been my thing my entire life and until astrology came along I could never understand it. People just flit in and out of my life and vice versa. They come and they go. I come and go. Deep, heartfelt friendships just gone in an instant - usually for no reason. Poof! I always thought it was some friendship flaw in me but now I realize sun/pluto/uranus with uranus in the 11th and uruans trine moon has ALOT to do with this.
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