Pluto In Capricorn: Psychology, Control And The Shadow Side Of Boundaries Set Between You And Others

17 Responses to “Pluto In Capricorn: Psychology, Control And The Shadow Side Of Boundaries Set Between You And Others”

1. satori says on 6/10/08 at 9:19 am:
   

   recently someone was saying to me (about men) “well don’t worry,” I wasn’t worried… “men are like busses. one will be around again shortly.” to which I immediately replied, “just make sure you’re not UNDER it… bahahahaha!” she didn’t laugh, dammit. I thought that was a good one.

   I think I try pretty hard, give a lot of chances. it’s when people do the same hurtful thing repeatedly, refusing to be conscious about it that I blanche.

2. Jessica says on 6/10/08 at 9:30 am:
   

   I was going to be serious about this but since satori’s comment, now all I can think is “get on the BUS!”

   I am ready to learn all about boundaries.

3. Ana says on 6/10/08 at 9:35 am:
   

   “…people reject others because they fear being rejected themselves which sets up a wicked, wicked cycle. This alone is enough to devastate a life so you can see how important this is.”

   No kidding. Devastating for both I guess. The rejector eventually gets rejected, they switch sides and ’round it goes.

4. goddess says on 6/10/08 at 1:19 pm:
   

   i don’t reject many people once they hit my inner circle. if someone flakes, i am normally concerned and try very hard to ride out out or understand what’s really going on.

   i’ve always believed people were a little too quick in general to “keep score,” especially since everybody has different perspective, and your scoring system is not going to be the same at theirs. if you have the trust, you don’t need the score anyway. and when the trust is violated, it seems to become apparent readily enough.

5. Loonsounds says on 6/10/08 at 2:17 pm:
   

   I’d rather not reject people and I would not have to if some people could just have some basic respect to begin with. Here is a story on from yesterday.

   One of my boundaries is that I don’t like all these strangers knocking on my door trying to sell me stuff; it is pervasive around where I live and intrusive as all get out.

   It gets my dogs all riled up, get me out of the shower or something…and these sales people, they don’t like to take no for an answer, and none of them care less if it is a convenient time or not.

   Worse yet for me, the most frequent offenders are from this meat truck operation, trying to sell big slabs of meat to a vegetarian who is minding her own business.

   So I am like, “No I don’t even eat meat, I told you that last time.”

   Then they gawk at me like I’m the biggest freak on the planet while I am standing at my own front door. Then, they always say the same damn thing (as I already nod No) they say,

   “Well of course you DO eat seafood.”

   I am like “No I don’t eat seafood; I tell you that every time too.”

   So, maybe this is my symbolic Saturn in Virgo, I finally went out to Home Depot and got stuff & I made this big sign and put it on my front door. It is bright yellow has a big hand held up palm out in the ‘go away’ symbol, and the word PRIVATE in big letters with more letters, gold metal, that I stuck on to say ‘NO SOLICITING.’

   It’s an ugly ugly sign, I would think it is very much of a warding off, I can’t imagine, seeing that (and you can not miss it), anyone would think twice about knocking, it might as well read DANGER WILL ROBINSON. (baby boomer joke, it’s an old show, kids.)

   So anyway, it was good for about 6 weeks until yesterday some yay-hoo [the type with actual balls, what a surprise] knocks on my door anyway (!), so I go out the other door, and I am like staring at him incredulous and nodding my head at the sign as if to say, “Read much?”

   He’s all like, “Well, I am not actually trying to sell you anything” … but of course he was.

   What do I need to do, Hang Garlic?

   I am trying to think if I regret cutting anyone out of my life too precipitiously, and I would have to say I can’t remember any times when I have regretted it. I tend to have the opposite problem.

6. Lisa says on 6/10/08 at 2:51 pm:
   

   I’ve been rejected many times in my life. Sometimes I understood why, sometimes I didn’t - 1st house pluto here. I pick myself up and keep on living. I’m strong (and I can outlast most people).
   Just a little thought about people getting fired and the “there’s plenty more where you came from” remark. My mom is a retired psychiatric RN. She told me that back in her younger days, the hospitals would work them like dogs (and treat them that way). Often the doctors and patients alike treated them no better than maids. She told me that one particular time she had pulled two 12 hour shifts in a row and they had the nerve to ask her to stay on for a 3rd shift and she refused - because she was exhausted from no sleep and afraid she would be a danger to the patients. The hospital administrator got verbally abusive with her and told her that she was “damn lucky to have a job.” But, you are right, things do run in cycles and now nurses are in short supply. Now, the hospital is “damn lucky to have a nurse.”

7. wyrdling says on 6/10/08 at 3:25 pm:
   

   *sigh*

   i’d like to learn some of that skill of letting go getting burned in the past.
   i think maybe i’m a little better at it.

   pearls grow out of irritation, don’t they? i wonder what that means about cancers and their sensitivity (as opposed to my weird more neptunian form of sensitivity….) ?

8. s says on 6/10/08 at 6:27 pm:
   

   I’ve heard the herb mugwort does something to ward off undesirables. Just old herbal lore…

9. doublecappy says on 6/10/08 at 6:36 pm:
   

   It was pretty much right here that I learned all my rejections have been my own.

10. kashmiri says on 6/10/08 at 7:42 pm:
    

    “What is the psychological (probably subconscious) reason that you fire or reject people? ”

    I don’t like anything that resembles proselytizing.
    I’m positive I’ve been both preacher and heretic in former lives–as well as persecutor and persecuted.

    People who try to enlist me in certain things meet resistance. You know: witchhunts or religions or monthly payment plans (the usual). Scheduling weekends. Itineraries. People who try to tell me ‘what’s good for me.’ I have a mum and dad, and only they get to pull that trip on me.

    Now that I mention it…they don’t!

    However, I’m not so bothered if they’re an Aquarius or Gemini, and therefore are (a) nonplussed if I join or not, or (b) just want a buddy to join in on the fun, and are still unaffected if I join or not!

    Oh, and people who can’t apologize piss me the hell off.

11. Elsa says on 6/10/08 at 7:46 pm:
    

    “Oh, and people who can’t apologize piss me the hell off.”

    me toooooo

12. Johnnie Johnnie Johnson says on 6/11/08 at 12:38 am:
    

    Thinking about rejecting people, I was glad to be reminded by Lisa, above, that a couple of times it was me that was rejected, and how much that hurt because of the people involved. They were people (the two I have in mind, anyway) for whom I felt a lot of love, gratitude, etc. I felt I was judged harshly by one, without any chance to defend myself, and the other rejected me simply because she had some very much other things to do, like get married and have a family. Her husband didn’t understand her having male friends (at least I very much suspect that was the cause). It’s all reasonable, I suppose. I miss these two women in my life. The one who judged me, I thought would be a friend for all my life.

13. Kingsley says on 6/11/08 at 7:19 am:
    

    I don’t know, if someone wishes to get rejected (follow patterns) they seem to do that all on their own.

    kingsley

14. peppermint says on 6/11/08 at 8:45 am:
    

    Thank you, Kingsley! Well said! But how do you break the pattern of following patterns?

15. doublecappy says on 6/11/08 at 8:49 am:
    

    Hi Peppermint, I know you asked Kingsley this, and I’ll look forward to his answer as well, but from out in the fields here, where I’m trying to break all kinds of patterns, I think it takes doing something a little different, being uncomfortable for a while - and a whole lot of examination and introspection and . . . responsibility.

    

16. peppermint says on 6/11/08 at 9:01 am:
    

    Ah, yes, I hear you loud and clear. Examination and introspection to determine what the patterns are, more introspection to see your part in making and attracting them, and even more examination to figure out how and where and what to change. And making those changes, a little at a time.

    Thanks for the kindness of sharing what you’ve learned - you’ve been very helpful.

17. Ebay says on 6/13/08 at 12:34 pm:
    

    Hard topic, for me that is. Almost every post made me tear up just a little bit, people seem to sometimes have lack of responsibility for how they treat others until they are the one in need. It’s not like you even needed them says the Gemini! But yes, maybe I attracted rejection in my weird form of hiding in my shell. It doesn’t make the pain anymore easy, to not have someone watching that knows the truth.

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