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The Conflicts On This Blog, People Who Hate Me, Subconscious Attacks, My Guess At Reality And A Whole Lot More
Commenting on the comments
SaDiablo writes on Saturn Forces A Hard Look At My Writing:
“…but maybe I wasn’t giving you enough credit for sneakiness, E. ”
SaDiablo - I don’t know but I will tell you what I do know:
To the best of my consciousness this was not about M. I was already having conversations about this with friends at least five days prior.
In reality, there is a much MUCH larger problem than people who storm off on my blog. As always I put it right out here. The cost to publish here is rising and that it is rising dramatically. It is rising exponentially I would say and is far more pervasive than people who get pissed.
Let’s put it this way:
Say I am a bartender and getting harassed. I 86 the culprit. I kick them out. If they refuse to leave I call the police and that’s it. They usually leave before the police get there but what if times change?
What if that person leaves but comes back to my bar with a machine gun, huh? What if one of these pissed off people kidnap one of my children… various other threats. Gettin’ my drift?
At that point I have to really think (as the soldier would say) if this is the hill I want to die on. And this is what is going on. I either decide this blog is what I want and I fight for it or I decide I have written 8000 blogs for free… that’s plenty and the threat is actually a blessing in disguise because it gets me out of this contract!
Now back to M, like I said I don’t think this was about her but who knows when people have a subconscious however, keep this in mind if you like to think along those lines:
I write about my life here. I do not write about the people who read here unless it is specifically stated and do you know how many mails I get a week that say this:
“Were you talking about me? I hope you weren’t talking about me…”
Of course, I am never talking about them. People see themselves, what can I say? I can’t breathe without someone thinking it’s addressed to them and though people will draw whatever conclusions they wish, I will tell you what I think is real.
I think I work a 18 hour day, try to keep the house clean, heal my son, try not to gain too much weight, try to maintain my friendships, do the yard work, cook 3 meals a day, bake Tauri cookies, go to the gym, pay my bills, run my son’s friends around, make appointments, keep them, do consultations, deal with my daughter, process emotions, fuck, write blog after blog after blog after blog after blog, and keep up the Top 10 Astrology News.
If you really stop and think about this… if you internalize this, it seems it would be obvious that I can only become so upset that a woman in Italy is mad at me. I mean come on.
This is one of the blessings of being inundated by work by the way. I swear to you, I have no time to seethe. Be annoyed and slap someone? Yes. But after that I am out of there. Are you kidding me? I do nothing but move.
In fact if you really knew how fast I move on you’d be alarmed. I say this with confidence because my entire inner circle would tell you it is my most marked characteristic.
Do you tend to seethe or move on?
28 Responses to “The Conflicts On This Blog, People Who Hate Me, Subconscious Attacks, My Guess At Reality And A Whole Lot More”
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Alan Berg:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Berg
Provocative radio personality - Someone got pissed:
“On June 18, 1984, Alan Berg was shot thirteen times in the driveway of his home next to his Volkswagen Beetle. The murder weapon was reportedly an Ingram MAC-10.”
He died - someone else got a movie, Oliver Stone’s “Talk Radio”..
My motto at the top of my ‘my space’ [[[if I EVER get the damn thing up, which, MAYBE soon now]]] is:
Disturb the Comfortable; Comfort the Disturbed
I don’t know who said it originally.
I really believe in it. Everything else is boring. We could sit her all day and be little clone-sheep. Yawn, yawn.
Also, I think it is along the lines of what all the great Spiritual Masters do as well. These Zen masters, they are Brave, cuz they are Enlightened, and they know that nothing can be taken away from them if it is not supposed to be, I guess that is how they are so fearless.
Me, I can be realitively fearless because I don’t have many people that I have to suck up to. Actually none. It is a great blessing, and I had to go thru hell to get it, but I got it. It was involuntary, but a gift.
And re: the very real fears you refer to as a public figure, Elsa, yeah!
As for me, I am no kinda public figure, and anyay, I don’t think anyone knows or cares who I am or where I live and anyway, even if they did, I move around so much that I’d probably be gone by the time they get here.
Back to the masters for a moment, it’s not that the Spiritual Masters don’t care what anyone thinks of them (although, they don’t, because they function at a higher level than that, a level of egolessness and pure, unconditional love), but they are actually trying to help people to wake up and become Enlightened, and they do that simply by being who they are, including all they say and do.
And then it shocks people.
Anyway, Elsa, if I tried to do as much as you do for even one day I’d be in a coma.
I don’t know man…I think of people like Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh as being the types who are actually being downright antagonistic, just for the sake of being antagonistic. Now you, Elsa, not like that.
I will have to look at that article.
I thought that whatever it was with M was a seperate (if related) issue. It never even occured to me that it might not be until someone else mentioned it, at which point Libra must consider all views.
That’s sort-of what I was getting at when I said I have no sense of self-importance. People are busy living their lives and nine times out of ten what I think may possibly be referring to me isn’t; I’m just not that high on their scale and whatever triggers they may pull are mine to own.
I can pick at a wound for days until I find out how to heal it, but if I’m not standing around with my finger on it then it doesn’t bother me. And once the initial reaction is over the other person doesn’t factor into my processes at all. If we’re still on speaking terms I’ll let ‘em know what my conclusion is, but it’s mostly just a sense of politeness. (Here, you pushed a button and I figured out why it was there! Have a present.)
And, somehow, that ties in with not seething.
Somehow the fact that you moooooove is not surprising.
I’ve always marvelled at how much work you get done online, but I never really considered all the other things you need to do in your daily life. Whew! Just thinking of all that bootling makes this indolent Sun-Neptune gal weary. 
SaDiablo - I swear to God this year, I have not had 15 minutes down time other than when I sleep. Don’t forget traveling to see the soldier all those weekend, and now adapting to his presence. Obviously Vid’s father is going to react, I could go on and on and on and on the things happening around here.
That people want to ascribe nasty motives to me is nothing new. In reality this has been a year of unending tasks (shown brilliantly in my SR) and again it is a blessing because I have no energy whatsoever to devote to the frivolous. My life is concerned with real threats and real problems. Mine and other peoples… namely my clients, because I care and I want these people healed!
~~
“I don’t know man…I think of people like Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh as being the types who are actually being downright antagonistic, just for the sake of being antagonistic. Now you, Elsa, not like that.”
Loonsounds, I don’t have to be like that, someone only has to THINK I am like that.
Alas.
you know, the hateful email i was not surprised about. your style is intense, people are self-absorbed and self-righteous, or maybe they decide they’re entitled or “it’s all about them” or whatever their little delusional trip is. they can be indignant and abusive and assholes sometimes. so that surprises me nada.
but THEATS? jesus christ. that just makes my hair hurt.
oh, and on your question: i specifically work TO move on as quickly as i can. seething sucks.
OK I have to tell you the “baking Tauri cookies” made me smile.
To the question - I seethe for a little while, like minutes. Seriously. There was a phrase I (am pretty sure I) read in your writing years ago - puke it up. I do that, just yell and shout and rant and cry and whatever I need. Then I’m done, chop it off, move on, the clock is ticking and I’m on the go go go go!
Life is short!
I smiled at healing your son and baking Tauri cookies and I also smiled at how “fuck” came before writing blogs and doing Top 10, but after the cookie baking. Any order would work, actually. My kind of gal!
Yeah, I was trying to be a random as possible because that’s the way it is around here. I forgot to say, make videos too. Think that is demanding? It is!
I put one up on youtube yesterday and someone left a graphic comment about how they were going to fuck me rudely (and one star) within 5 min. hah! Talk about thankless.
Anyway, it is that way around here and I complain a lot because I can;t keep a schedule to save my life however it is improving. 2 months ago I did not know if I would be home on the weekend or not, generally until late Friday afternoon. Stress anyone?
I’m not kidding, the idea I am ought to get people is not only greatly exaggerated, it is imagined. I am trying to stay alive if you must know! Cripes!
And oh yeah, there was the Gus blog. Did that too and I just wonder what the people bitching have done for others lately. I’m sure they’ve no time - too busy watchin’ and projecting onto my ass - wheeeeeeeeee!
Fuck you rudely? You mean, like, obscene, like literally? Just some random stranger? Surely not someone who contributes. One star man alive, how stupid. Some astro-ignoramo needs to get a life.
OK, now, DAMMIT my mother and I are at it again, major blowout. I am going to pose a question to you on this matter. Or maybe I’ll just post it to the whole group, yeah.
We are two Tauri, but she is not one of the laid back variety. Aries moon…drives, drives, drives me whacko. That and the Virgo rising, creative & artistic but so precision oriented in contrast to my lame ass but also very creative & artistic Pisces rising.
She was going “DAMMIT” that your phones are down. When I read that, all I could think was ‘thank God.’
“You mean, like, obscene, like literally?”
Yeah. But see, this is the deal. If you are going to do something like this - this stuff is going to happen. If you have success it is going to happen even more. And as the negative consequences expand, it forces a decision to er… soldier on, or to retire to other pursuits. I just have to figure out what I want is all. Don’t we all.
I just wasn’t thinking about it as going out into the collection of utube at large. I was thinking your videos stay on your blog. I am kind of a beginner at that part.
Yeah, you were talking before about how you can know when to delete unread after the first sentence and I am sure some of it is worth a laugh.
I am sure it is super hard to do these videos, I used to video myself teaching …. but not lecturing. Teaching students how to be counselors, so the students were in the videos as well. I guess that made it easier. Then each student had to turn in a video at the end of the semester of them interviewing a fake client of their own choosing. Man they hated that assignment.
There are times when I seethe and there are times when I move on…I think it depends on what happened, b/c most of the time, stuff just rolls off my back…but other times, I will dwell on it for days on end…not constantly, but it will pop up in my mind during the course of a day…Your list made me smile, especially “baking Tauri cookies”!!
With all you have to deal with on a daily basis, it’s no wonder you have no time to worry abt the wacky people on the internet bitching you out (unjustly, if you ask me)!!
Astrodynamics sent me your way to give you some “luv”. I love your top-ten and blog.
When dealing with people - always consider the source. The horse will drink when it is ready.
If people are threatening you - involve the cops and the feds (isn’t threats over the internet a federal crime?). Don’t take it.
Sometimes Pluto to Moon must be about empowerement as much as anything else - and standing up to a bully is empowering.
I read a lot on Pluto - as I had an opposition to the Sun, followed by an opposition to the Mercury, followed by an opposition to the moon. Interesting thing about that opposition to the moon - it corresponded with Saturn opposing Pluto, (Remember that in 2001 - 2002) with Saturn conjuncting my moon.
yes - I had to deal with my power issues.
back to you - I think Pluto to moon must be about clearing own patterns as well as owning your power as a human being. Not power over anyone - power to become an enlightened, healing, creative force.
Ok - enough “luv” for today. Keep doing what you do - and don’t let the bully on the play ground stop you. You are too important to other people.
Not moving on requires too much energy.
I threw up my post last night but didn’t have time to pay a visit Elsa. I’m just impressed that you find time to go to the gym.
As hard as I try in my Libran fashion I still generate animosity in people. Sometimes I just delete the comments when they get too nasty. For someone like you, who speaks directly, you’ll always be pushing someone’s buttons. Perhaps that’s your role - to instigate a reaction in some people to awaken something within them.
Keep up the good work!!
I DEFINITELY MOVE ON! Rather abruptly at that! with no regrets. And I rarely look back. No seething for me. I am a soft and gentle soul,until, well,I’m not.
Until I am STEPPED ON. Like the cockroach , I ALWAYS re- invent when I have to.
Same for you, I think???
Know what Elsa, fuck ‘em. What rude and insensitive energy you are being subjected to.
Your blog and your work are your expression in this world. Your kids, your life, your opinions are all energies I am PRIVILEGED to SHARE when I want to–when I tune into your blog. And when YOU feel like sharing. That’s all.
YOUR opinions are ALWAYS fascinating, and of course I don’t always share them. Well, DUH.
I do not assume all this this means I am somehow now entitled to your entire life and your kids and your soul .
The internet unfortunately gives space to some very troubled anti social idiots who would otherwise be locked up somewhere staring at a white ceiling until their next medication dose.
I support WHATEVER YOU DO ELSA. I will miss you if you move on from this blog, but your own life, kids, love life, and sanity are paramount.
If you suddenly MOVE ON, you will resurface at the right time and the right place in the right venue to suit YOUR needs.. not ours.
I support you. I send love and care to your family.
Do what you must.
I Read all the comments on this entry–.
Pluto/Moon: Stand UP for yourself or, time to STAND DOWN?
I have seen both responses as being appropriate for different folks.
Elsa, if the threats are real and life threatening,I say go underground (PLUTO.)
It might be time that your private clients become more important and revising your OWN PERSONAL AND FAMILY LIFE and all it’s obligations and tasks, is PARAMOUNT.
Mabe this pathetic world wide audeince on the Web is not how to spend your precious energy right now..
Standing down is not a sign of defeat if YOU decide You deserve some time out for your private matters.
ALL OF US have to have times of respite.
Only you know if it’s time for yours.
With so much on your plate, you are bound to be extra sensitive to the kinds of nasty energy that can permeate the blogsphere.
I don’t understand the MONEY end of it al for youl– but if you’re not GETTING SOMETHING FABULOUS out of your web work and Youtube stuff I say get outta Dodge, try to carve out some time to enjoy the solider and be with your kids and your spirit.
I am SURE your private clients are more appreciative than what I’ve seen on line. And that your life experiences make you an extra effective astro- counselor for them. WHY NOT SPEND YOUR ENERGY WHERE IT IS APPRECIATED????
Just how much time and energy do you want to spend on this?
Maybe your life is none of our business. I mean that kindly.
Whatever you do,I support you .
Elsa, I bet you could garner some big bucks doing some private mentoring. .
Heather M. - Thank you.
hey, Elsa
I read you everyday, and I deeply respect your great forthrightness, your willingness to continue observing, learning, and teaching courageously.
Pluto transits do transform us, push us from the known, and ultimately open and enhance our power through these trials. May your considerable strength and fire hold you safely warm as insecure folks project their angry suffering.
May you know and remember that you are deeply loved by many wise folks who savor your moxie and your kind, feisty heart. We look for your sparkling insights each day.
With prayers and songs for your well-being and protection,
Starsnsea
Starsnsea - thanks and howdy stranger!
Dear Elsa,
I always read what you say (I have libra north node). I love your style and your strength. Also I think you are greatly gifted.
Stheno
Thanks stheno - I appreciate you people coming out of the woodwork in support. Greatly…
“… this has been a year of unending tasks … and … I have no energy whatsoever to devote to the frivolous.”
From the stories you’ve told us about your past, E, I don’t think you’ve ever had time to spend on frivolities. And, you’re right, it likely is a blessing! One of the things that makes you so great at what you do is that you don’t waste time, you go straight to the core. Would you have that capacity if you weren’t constantly juggling eighteen things? Maybe not.
It’s gotta wear on a person, though. Just like constantly fending off projections — wearisome.
Cut-n-run, baybee. You got places to see and people to do.
i usually move on. spending time seething over the past, in my mind, gives the past waaay too much power over you.