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Is It Jealousy? Fear? Possessiveness? Mothering Gene? Survival Instinct? I Don’t Know But It’s Primal And Belongs To The 8th House
Astrology in real life
Kingsley writes on Men, Women. Venus And Mars In Nature:
“Jealousy is the anger about the prospect (scare) of being rejected. It could be a way in which you keep together Elsa. It would be very easy for either of you to get each other angry if you needed to do that. When I say angry, that could mean passionate too; to constantly live in the “now” of the relationship. In a way that may help to reinforce your attachment with each other. I can’t see a problem with that, its just that when the relationship is going through growing pains it will helpful for the both of you to be aware of that happening.”
Kingsley - that’s an interesting dissection of jealousy and while it sounds correct I am not sure it resonates with my actual experience so I think I may be using the wrong word - “jealousy”.
Our feelings are more primal. They are akin to a dog who is feeding and keeps looking over his shoulder in case some other dog thinks it’s going to come touch its food. This stuff is in every fiber of both out bodies and seems to be happening at a much lower octave.
The soldier and I are intelligent, secure, confident and emotionally sophisticated. We are both aware the other is not going anywhere. We know this but this still does not prevent reaction when another dog gets near our bowl. The hair on the neck goes up - Period.
This happens like a reflex. It happens outside our conscious control similar to how cold weather causes goosebumps on the skin. The sensation is akin to adrenaline but I am not sure it is fear because the instinct is always to fight rather than take flight.
It feels more closely related to a mothering instinct. I am protecting mine… I will peck your eyes right out, think later and I think he has a similar experience.
What we are doing is keeping an eye on the perimeter. Broach it and someone’s goin’ down.
Can anyone relate to this or are we the only dogs out there?
14 Responses to “Is It Jealousy? Fear? Possessiveness? Mothering Gene? Survival Instinct? I Don’t Know But It’s Primal And Belongs To The 8th House”
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I can relate. yep.
Jealousy is certainly one of our most basic primitive genetic codes. I have it coursing through my veins like a torrential river. I think sometimes we forget our more baser instincts and pretend that we are oh so civilized and that we have designer behaviour. I believe that to recognise the beast and to have it in our line of green-eyed sight is as good as it gets. To own it and be consciously aware that there is always a choice of expression which doesn’t have to result in annhiliation either of the relationship, the Other or oneself!
But also isn’t jealousy a form of passion, a powerful indicator that we are very much alive (and kicking!). It’s interesting that the 8th house signifies death and also this life blood of emotion!
I don’t relate at all. I should because I’m double fixed, but I don’t. Jealousy for me is wanting what someone else has (and to be fair, there’s not a whole lot of people out there who have something I want so much that I’ll get THAT upset about it). At most, I will be annoyed for a few weeks and then it blows over.
I truly do not understand why anyone goes ballistic if their SO say, talks to some random person of the opposite sex for five minutes at a party and aren’t flirting/trying to get in their pants. I used to watch my old roommate and her boyfriend getting OMG!SO!JEALOUS!!!111!!! if one of them ever talked to someone for a minute, and it was ridiculous. Both of them had no intention of cheating on the other one, and knew it, but how DARE they speak to someone else! If I truly can’t trust the SO to not try to get into the pants of Random Girl He Talked To For Five Minutes, how great is my relationship? Not very. You’re jealous of him paying attention to someone else but you for five minutes when you live and sleep with him? Gee, guess who has more of him- that’d be YOU, honey. What is there to be jealous of?
I suspect this is more of a “pissing on my territory” thing more than actual jealousy, somehow. But then again, I truly don’t get the concept, so what do I know?
I totally understand Elsa, especially when you say “mothering instinct”, I think I can thank my Mars in Cancer for that. I don’t go on those crazy jealous rampages like some people do. My “jealous” tendencies are usually right below the surface. It’s funny how you used goosebumps as a comparison; or like a dog, hair standing up on your neck…because that is exactly the kind of primal reaction I get. What I do is become aware, I observe…and feel out what I think the persons intentions seem to be. Most of the time I come to the conclusion that it is harmless and almost-non-intentional flirting, which I don’t mind too much because I tend to be “friendly” myself and I don’t have any ulterior motives. But if I sense something more….Get ready for the WRATH!! haha
I once got so jealous that my friend was flirting with another girl right in front of me that I stopped talking to him for a month and he never knew why.
I was just furious and it was very irrational.
I was being very teritorrial.
Mine…that’s mine……back off……mine
Thats what usually happens with fear, one either fights or flights. I wonder what you would call the underlaying feeling to the hair on the neck go up?
experiencing the feeling like an instinctive process as you say Elsa could be about character again. Character jealousy or character anger is when the personality trait is “in the bones”. What ever ‘it’ may be called, as long as it doesn’t affect your relationships or individual well beings. What would you describe your attachment style to be? Dependant, secure, insecure, ambivalent, avoidant, adversarial, dysfunctional?
Not many people seem to live in the “now” with relationships Elsa, the instinctive process you describe does sound like living in the “now” according to the jealousy factor.
best
kingsley
Kingsley - I have no idea how I would classify myself and either does any of the geniuses who have known me for decades. All I have is astrology and can tell you I act my chart…. utterly. It is a perfect map.
I can also tell you that my reactions around the soldier are atypical. I have had the feelings at times with other men but with the soldier they are increased by a factor of 20 or 30 or 50 as is the frequency and I don’t know exactly what to chock this up to, especially now having just gotten a new chart for him.
Oh, and I do not reject the idea of fear… I have called myself “fear-based” in the past although I think I may have just liked the sound of that.
Considering the saturn neptune quality - how would I know if I was afraid anyway? I wouldn’t. Crap! I am skinny when I think I am fat and fat when I think I am skinny. There is not much hope for me, I’m tellin’ you.
However, I can help others like a bat out of hell.
I have been WANTING to ask you about this for some time. I like your analysis of the similarity to the mothering instinct. I am in a relationship with someone and we both have this primal jealousy and attachment, but I’ve been reading Eric Francis’ stuff (incredibly well-written) which describes jealousy, eloquently, as akin to fear of death, fear of nothingness, unnecessary attachment, etc. I totally understand the concept, yet I can’t seem to relate with my own emotions. If the type of jealousy, possessiveness you’re describing, is 8th house, then what house or planet helps you DEAL with challenges to it?
Well I understand all of what you say Elsa and perhaps we can thank god for astrology and the reflection in the “perfect map” as opposed to what psychology and sociology have put together in an apparently scientific way. I enjoy your ecclecticism if I can call it that. I am becoming tentitive in “calling” anything in relation to yourself and the soldier now. You seem to defy any descriptive patterning but be open to the idea at the same time.
I am also wondering why I might offer a view point to some of your self inquiring posts. You do put the question out there. Perhaps i think that I am being helpful and really you are only thinking out a loud via this blog? That is a very interesting concept indeed. Thinking out a loud and blogging.
It does seem however that the mystery of these instinctive sources which you describe your behaviours/feelings has more meaning in the scheme of things.
I wish that I could live a little more in the here and now.
kingsley
Yeah, I get really low octave primitive jealous thing too. Very much like a mothering instinct. The instinct is very much straight to attack and comes from a place of protection.
(And I am so very Aqua that I used to be baffled at this response.)
I like what you posted today about it how Scorpio will get your back, hence the motivation in talking about the green skirt incident.
For me in that eighth house, boundaries get blurred. I have Neptune there and so sometimes I sort of accidentally merge into other people’s spaces. Then I want to protect them.
It is about protecting your resources. . .
LMAO Elsa - “I can help others like a bat out of hell” This made me laugh, I love it. You are excellent at helping others, I think that is in the genes
protect the perimeter? yes… that is some pretty primal stuff there.