Cancer-I feel for you, Cancer. You’ll be happier when you detach, and IMO, that is also the best way to support him.

I’ve had my bouts with trying to fix someone close to me, encourage them to get help I knew they needed, etc. etc. ad infinitum. It doesn’t work, and it means I ended up adopting the other person’s issues as well and living them out in my own head at the same time. Rather than eliminate the problems, it amplifies them and they become yours as well as the other person’s.

He doesn’t want your input here, or he wouldn’t have done a disappearing act when you were gone to a funeral, for goodness sakes. That wasn’t a very nice way to leave, in case you hadn’t noticed.

There is no magic phrase that you can produce that will give the two of you a “happily ever after.” To me, the most loving thing you can do is trust someone you care about to live their own life, and go about living yours. You can either allow yourself to remain in his world, or you can make your own. At this point in my life, I prefer the latter.

Good luck and peace out to you, Cancer.

Here are my two cents worth.

The dude might not even be Bipolar.

He might just be doing what most people do, namely, whatever they want to do.

There’s this old Marshall Tucker song called “Heard it in a Love song.”

Here is a little bit of it, but I don’t claim to have the words exactly right.

Never been with a woman long enough
for my boots to get old
we been together so long
the soles need re-soled

Never said that I love you
even though it’s so
but it’s come the time
I have to go

heard it in a love song
haerd it in a love song
heard it in a love song
can’t be wrong.

Then he just goes into this thing about being born to roam. Like Elsa said about the roaming and your beloved’s chart.

Sometimes people label mental illness where there is none. My mom did this when she was in denial about her boyfriend dumping her. They (she, and his family) were talking about getting him committed for depression or whatever (cuz he had stopped calling her and ‘allegedly acting weird’ in other ways).

Turned out the old dude had himself another woman and I had to tell my mother (I ran a horary chart and I saw her!). To this day my mother still thanks me, because my warning her and breaking through her denial allowed her to be prepared, rather than shocked when he did dump her (quite precipitously) on her head.

You sound like such a loving person. In fact, it even sounds like you love him just the way he is. Maybe even you could still love him and always love him, yet, simultaneously find a different kind of partner who is not always leaving you.

Bizarre notion? OK, I’m bizarre, hee hee.

But yeah, good luck to you, Cancer in love!