s writes on, “he’s coming to get us, I better get up…”

Intruder scenarios as bedtime stories-jeez, now that IS a Plutonic household! Loved this.

s - My son (with his Sun conjunct Saturn) has had a lot of fear around someone breaking in the house. For years, I mean. In fact he has a nighttime ritual, he asks if all the doors are locked…. twice. He wants to know if is (somewhat) okay to go to sleep at night and the soldier has overheard this on the phone for all these months.

Very plainly, Vid have never felt safe and from the minute the soldier landed here, he expressed his relief at having him around due his confidence in his ability to protect us.  If you talked to Vid  you’d get the idea he feels he dodged a bullet managing to survive all these years without the soldier. He has just never felt me capable of protecting the perimeter.

As to the jokes, the soldier’s calm confidence is completely reassuring…

“P, he’d not have killed us,” the soldier said regarding the possible burglar bad guy that was in the house the other night, turing off and on lights. “Look at Clucky,” he said.  That’s his name for our dog, Lucky.  “He’s lying right in the doorway to the bedroom there and any burglar is going to trip right over him.”

“Does Clucky do that on purpose?”

“No, probably not but it doesn’t matter, the effect is the same.  I am telling you, that bastard is going down one way or the other.  Clucky will probably get him and if he doesn’t I will.  I am telling you if someone comes in here and makes me put my pants on, he’s going to be sorry. I will make him pay for that.”

“Like how?”

“Like I won’t just kill him straight out. I will shoot his knees or something,” he aaid, grinning. “One bullet in each knee cap, see how he likes that.”

::Groan::

“Yeah, and then he will dragging his bloody ass down the hall trying to get out of here.  He’ll be apologizing, I’m sure. I’m sorry! I’m sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn’t really mean to come in here, he said dragging his ass getting blood on our walls.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, they’re all sorry once you shoot them.  They never meant to break in your house. They had no ill intentions at all, ever. They are innocent but anyway he’ll be trying to leave, shot in both knees.  And then I will shoot him again and before I kill him I will tell him, I’m sorry but if you’d not made me put on my pants, I’d have not had to kill you so badly.”

“Oh my God. As opposed to killing someone goodly?”

“Yeah.”

“You can kill someone good?”

“Well yeah. P. You can just kill them straight out but if you’re going to come in my house, threaten my family and make me put my pants on - Well, I’m not going to care how you die. I will kill your ass anyway I damned well please.”

“I see. Well that’s fine but I now that I’ve seen how slow you are, I have to ask something I never thought I would have to ask. On the chance you get killed - Where is another gun so I can go get it and shoot the guy and save you while you lay bleeding.”

He told me where to find another gun.

“But you can just take the gun out of my dying, bloody hands, P. Yeah, just grab the regular gun that is right there and kill the guy with it. I sure you’ll be able to because I’d have at least hit him before he got me, so he’ll be slow.”

“Oh. Okay, then. I guess we have this covered.”

“Yep, P, yep we do.  Don’t you worry about it - someone breaks in this house, they’ll be killed for sure. Between me, you and Clucky, the bastard is going to be toast.

You would not believe the relief on Vid’s face. And my kids (both of them) are writers you know. They need this stuff, it’s fodder for the books they are going to write.