Dear Elsa,

I’m writing you to ask your advice on a friend of mine. We both work together and have only known each other a few months, but we’ve grown close quickly… maybe almost too close. I’m starting to wonder how to handle situations with her. Let me explain.

She is a quiet girl, and doesn’t have too many friends but has a loyal boyfriend. She’s been coming with me to various events with other friends of mine and even gotten involved in some classes I’m taking and become very inspired by many new concepts through me.

When I took her to a recent party, she remarked that she enjoyed talking with a friend of mine because she could get to know the real person and no longer see that person as “Christine’s friend”. I understood what she meant but also felt a bit funny about the way she said it.

Recently, I went out with her for her birthday and brought along a close friend of mine. We were the only three people at her party, but it was still fun. Now, I am just about to prepare for a trip abroad for a month and there’s an event this Saturday which I told her about. The other night, she called me to ask me if I thought it was a good idea to invite my friend and whether I would do that for her.

In that moment, I felt very manipulated and shocked. I guess I have more respect for the friends of my friends and usually would only suggest that if we could all get together. I feel as if she doesn’t respect the fact that my friends are special to me and feels they are hers, too. I ended up giving her his contact info but feeling badly about it. Am I overreacting?

Double Capricorn
United States