“A beautiful celery walked into a bar,” the soldier said. “She sat down at the bar and ordered a drink and the bartender said, say. You look like a nice girl. Why don’t you go over there and talk to that carrot over there. He’s a nice man.”

I opened my eyes wide.

“No, the beautiful celery said. I feel too sad for that. I just broke up and I’m just not ready for that.”

“Ah…” I said sympathetically.  “She’s got a broken heart.”

“Yeah but the bartender said, then how about that cauliflower over there, the one shooting pool. He is also a pretty good guy.”

“No, no, I just can’t do it, celery said.  I just broke up with mushroom and he’s the only fung guy around here.”

I roared.

“You like my joke, P.”

“I do.”

“Well I have to make these things up.  I have to work to do this for you, P. This is work.”