The soldier has a Saturn, Mars, Mercury T-Square and a sort of tenuous relationship with his boss. You may remember I suggested he apologize to him once which he did and this is what led him to start drawing rhinos with balloons tied to their noses and leaving them lying around.

Now I think he likes the guy… sort of. But he’s very much like a woman who has PMS and I don’t mean that to be insulting. Some women do have PMS (you know who you are) and some men have problems of their own, don’t they? In this case, the guy really does seem to go crazy every few weeks. He just gets hysterical and the soldier? Well after a year of observation he’s sick of it.

He has taken to ignoring him for the most part. The is the SF soldier who would not allow GPS tracking. He does not like to be bothered at work and he always tells me his boss is bothering the hell out of him and “having kittens”.

“He’s having a whole litter today,” he’ll say. “Not just one like usual…”

And then one day he decided to tell his boss directly.

“Yeah, he’s been all worried all day,” the soldier said. “He’s flippin’ out right and left and I just let him. I ignored him. I let him go on and on and that’s what he did. He’s been messaging me and ringing my phone all day.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep, and then I got the load there, got it unloaded, got everything taken care of and then sent in the macro to say I was done. Surprised him. Oh, he says! He’s so relieved. ”

“Uh huh.”

“So this is when I told him I knew it was not going to be a problem. I knew was going to get this load in on time. How’d you know the asked.” The soldier laughed. “Oh, well I called them I said. I called and they told me they’d wait for me so I knew there’d be no problem. What, he said! Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me do all that worrying. Ah well I guess I let you go because you were over there havin’ kittens and I wanted to see how many you were going to have.”

I snorted. “What did he say?”

He laughed. “He said I was asshole. Yeah, he said you asshole but he was laughing, P. I am an asshole, but this asshole is a funny asshole so there.”

Three days later the guy started going off again. The soldier sent this him over the satellite:

“Make mine a calico.”

There were no further communications.

Are you hysterical? I mean, do people think you are a hysterical person?