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Open Question: Which Is Easier? Giving Or Receiving?
Ask the collective
Conny asks this question on the Venus Neptune Giving video:
“What is easier, to give without knowing to whom our gift goes, or to receive without knowing where does our gift come from?”
Conny, what a terrific question, thank you. I think both are very easy.
I’ve got no problem giving to whoever - I write this blog don’t I? I give blood. I am on the Nat’l registry to give bone marrow and live in hope I will be called.
Gifts you just get are also very easy to receive.  Like those Elsa’s story cookies I got from a client (Jerri).
What is hard for me is getting a gift that is not a gift, the gift that is given and then taken back. This is like a compliment that comes with a stab in the back you’ve got to ignore. Things like that are very hard. That is terrifically painful as is a gift that hurts someone else.
“You are wonderful, Elsa… but she sucks.”
I don’t really think a comment like that has anything to do with me. I feel I am being used to beat another and I can’t get away fast enough (escape). I just want to run, hide under the bed, get the hell out of there before it gets any worse! And you?
Which is easier - giving or receiving? Â
22 Responses to “Open Question: Which Is Easier? Giving Or Receiving?”
Oh giving is easier. Receiving has a lot to do with one’s sense of worth, like you’re saying now Elsa.
I once received something that I didn’t know where it came from - and it was bloody. And I was bloody thankful, anyway.
I think many will say giving. It is enjoyable especially when you really hope the person will like it or imagine you got them something that they will like. Receiving has certain rules of etiquette, you have to look grateful, for instance. Some can’t deal with this awkwardness. Or receiving complements, it feels like you’ve reached a dead end, whereas giving is so open ended. You have this gift (I know giving can be kindness, energy too..), this thing in your hand or this plateful of food or something, it’s like you’ve given this bulk to yourself for the moment and are going to give it to someone else to see them happy. Sometimes it’s tough to give what you yourself want. Though with the Energy of Slaves, you really knew how to give, Elsa. It seems like you gave the best thing you had.
Giving. You don’t need to say anything.
A word from David Sedaris: “The woman had decided that I was a hard-ass, one of those guys who refuse under any circumstances to do anyone a favor. But it’s not true. I just prefer that the favor be my idea, that it leaves me feeling kind rather than bullied and uncomfortable.”
http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2005/06/13/050613sh_shouts?currentPage=all
That’s interesting,
i was just thinking about generosity yesterday. About how much i love to give just for the joy of giving. I’ve noticed how some people get irritated when i’m like that. I know i can be too much sometimes, but maybe they only want to receive something that was meant for them and for no one else (in which case the emphasis is put on them receiving, not on me giving).
I must admit, i have a hard time receiving (especially the non-material) myself…
Giving is waaaay easier. That goes double because people always ask what I want when they’re going to give me something and I can never think of anything worthwhile when asked!
I’ve been learning to dislodge the notion it’s better to give than receive. I think it’s equally important to give and receive, and those who can’t receive well probably can’t take in new energy either. And they deny others the gift of giving to them.
This doesn’t mean keeping scorecard…but I know I’m paying more attention now if the energy (in the form of material gifts, love, attention, etc.) is going all in one direction. (I’m talking about peer to peer relationships here, not instances where one party needs caretaking or random acts of kindness and benevolent overflow.)
This has become a lot clearer to me since reading about pluto/scorpio interchanges of energy on this blog over the last 6 months or so. The image I have is this feedback loop–A sends energy –> B, who processes it and –> A –> B –> A etc. in a some kind of circular interchange.
Exactly. Been there. It was weird, though he seemed to enjoy being a bystander.
“And they deny others the gift of giving to them.”
I agree. Giving can be somewhat selfish. Like in sex, some only give because they are uncomfortable having their body touched or exposed in some way.
I think giving is easier. I admit that I don’t receive gifts easy, I guess because I’m suspicious and always think there is an ulterior motive and strings attached (double Scorpio). For example, a guy I’m seeing is always giving me little presents, and I am grateful until he starts to ask me for favors in return for stuff I never asked for in the first place. I know it’s selfish of me and I don’t say anything because I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it does annoy me.
Much easier to give. It makes me feel good, and I never have the forethought to expect some sort of reward besides my own patting-on-the-back.
Receiving makes me anxious, and I wonder what invisible strings are attached, and to whom.
For awhile, when my mom and older sister were having some trouble, she was doing that to me CONSTANTLY. “You know what’s so great about you, Erin? It’s that you do x. Your sister doesn’t do x.”
I spent two days changing the subject with horrible chills up and down my spine, and then finally said, “Mom, please don’t give me a compliment and then use it to beat Sis with. Please. Stop.”
If she hadn’t stopped I’d probably have left. It’s a disgusting feeling, that.
“I admit that I don’t receive gifts easy, I guess because I’m suspicious and always think there is an ulterior motive and strings attached (double Scorpio).”
It makes me think of a quote from Esther in Bleak House, “I believe the world is conspiring to make me happy.”
Recieving is easier if there are no strings attached. But these strings may be in your mind. To be able to recieve is a gift that you give whoever is doing the giving.
I of course love shoping, and gift giving as well.
Giving most definately. Too stoic and awkward for otherwise..
Dina, I love that quote 
giving is effortless, receiving requires response which can be burdensome..but lately I’m finding it easier to do both in balance, thanks Saturn.
to qualify that, I never want a recipient to feel burdened, nor do I feel that, but sometimes it can happen, ( thinking of the wedding gift ornament the giver loves and the recipient dislikes)and on my part, it’s absolutely the last thing I’d wish for someone to feel. They can chuck it in the bin, but at least they have the choice, and what I give might be something they can enjoy or use. I give joyfully,(Moon Jupiter).
Surprisingly, given my 2nd/Sun, 8th/Moon thing, I don’t like giving or receiving tangible things (unless they are completely silly and useless), but ethereal things are very different. I think I’m generous when it comes to giving time, energy, support (and money, which is intangible to me), and I have no problems receiving such things in return. Okay, I need to work on receiving support graciously, but hey, no one’s perfect. 
The gift of someone’s time and energy is the best thing I can think of — keep your baubles, baby, talk to me instead.
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I had an afterthought. I think I deserve everything I get. I would not get that book or those cookies and ever have it occur to me I did not deserve them. The things that do come to me… I guess I think they should once it happens. It is like something going to where it is supposed to be… courtesy some agent of the universe acting for whatever reasons they are acting for… which I never worry about. In other words, I just take the thing and don’t look back!