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1 Minute Astrology - Judging Jealous Feelings - Might They Be Normal?
1 Minute Astrology
What’s a dog to do?
| Posted at 3:22 pm
20 Responses to “1 Minute Astrology - Judging Jealous Feelings - Might They Be Normal?”
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I think jealousy is there whether we like it or not, but it’s a bit like the word ’stress.’ A blanket word for a bundle of issues. It is organic, it’s how it dictates peoples’ behaviour that can be so frightening.
Not so much jealousy, but I think of another person coming between us and it hurts me deeper than I’d like to admit. I have serious abandonment issues and I’d prefer to let go than hang on and fight for someone who I felt would allow another person to interfere with our bond.
I think a certain amount is good. There are some situations that might offend a person’s sensibilities if their partner weren’t jealous. I think it’s bad when it’s controlling and stifles. And I think it’s a balance.
When I say some situations, I want to bring up the fact that there are couples who ’swing’ which is very much against my sensibilities, but not something I see as immoral, just very unattractive to me. Some people can live without it for the most part, or so it seems. I wouldn’t want to.
Ooh kashmiri said it so perfectly, the last sentence. I’m not like a large portion of women in that I hold men accountable for their part of a relationship - and if put in a position meant to inspire jealousy I’d be pissed at the man. I’d end the connection if he’d sacrifice me to feed his ego. I would know if he was doing this…
This is a favorite of men, they look so ‘innocent’ while they do it .. setting two women up to do battle over them.
I remember my college boyfriend trying to pique my jealousy - when he said there was a ‘cute’ girl who seemed to be interested in him. Soon after I dreamt he was in his place with some other woman, I walked by them and proceeded to his wallet, took a credit card, keys, and drove off in his new Jeep Cherokee .. lol.
I guess if you both feel this energy then it’s ok .. if only one does it’s imbalance of power.
Jealousy is a natural human emotion. It means that you’re emotionally invested and wish to protect your interest. Still, it can go to extremes and I think in those situations that one must step back and regain composure. I don’t believe that a romantic relationship is worth having if you can’t trust your partner to place you above other women. Personally, I hold a man responsible for his portion of the relationship. The rare times which I’m jealous I do confront my partner in a calm mannner in order to understand what’s going on because if it’s just something in me then I want to fix it. If it’s him, I’m going to evaluate the relationship that we have and weigh the pros and cons.
It’s an odd one. As an Aquarian I don’t get why we can only be with one person. But that’s the way it usually is, and life is too mysterious and vast for me to say that I know better and it ought not to be like that.
Sometimes, I’ve been jealous and it has been helpful because that other person has some kind of trait or something that I wish I had. But of course, I don’t want to admit that so I make up reasons not to like them until I get tired of that and get real with myself.
So, I guess I’d say jealousy can be good if it spurs one to improve themselves.
I think there’s a difference b/w being jealous and being possessive. They often go hand in hand, but it’s really the possessiveness and related problems with insecurity, trust and control that turn most people off jealousy.
Society is so focused on the monogamous, marital, procreative model that it’s difficult to tell how much of one’s jealous feelings and ideas about relationships are a result of how we’ve been raised to think, or what we would naturally have gravitated towards. I do believe some people are naturally more monogamous than others and that this is independent from a person’s inclination towards possessiveness in relationships.
I am in an open relationship and have given alot of thought to jealousy. I have felt pure joy at sharing my love with others and there have been times in my life I’ve been consumed with jealousy. The difference in the two extremes for me lies in whether or not I feel secure and loved by my partner. If I am not getting what I need in the relationship then I’m not going to be able to share any of that kind of energy with anyone else.
And yes, I think regardless of the circumstance, jealousy is just something you feel and no judgment is necessary. For myself, I take it as a warning sign that some adjustment of boundaries or the exchange of energy needs to be adjusted.
absolutely. I like the soldier’s take on it. What matters isn’t the emotion but the actions taken. If it stifles the love or unifies it. Same emotion, different outcome. Usually you both seem to just admit to the jealousy and work together to find a middle ground so as to not feed into it - like swimming somewhere else naked. You could have insisted on swimming in the pool and killing the girl lol. But that would have been destructive.
In hindsight with my ex it wasn’t these feelings that were the problem persay, it was the actions that went with and the lack of communicating to be able to find true common ground. As well half the time jealous is telling you there is something that you want - figuring that out and getting it met in some form so that the monster is fed is the same thing. Surpressing it by denying it to live to an ideal of not having it can be subversively destructive.
Just be careful not to use it against each other.
i think it’s a fear of potential loss, perhaps.
if you think you have something special (magical?) any sense that it’s mundane or less than unique can feel threatening. like “am i special, or am i replaceable?”
or, well, i’m running with some of these questions lately. say you want to support the individual freedoms of others, but at the same time feel threatened that they might choose to do so in a way that would hurt you? i think it’s definitely a projection thing, that you set yourself up for given wide latitude… you’re aware of the tradeoff in “security” you’ve made for freedom. at least, that’s some for how i’m looking at it. that can be a big chink in one’s sense of security to leave open.
the deeper the relationship, the more it’s liable to hurt if damaged, and the more threatened we feel by potential damage to it. i guess.
Jealousy is a natural human emotion. It will be part of the world whether I like it or not.
Personally speaking, a display of jealousy is one of the fastest ways to make me fall out of love with someone. Not everyone can handle me and my take on fidelity and intimacy. Although I am prepared to be faithful to one person and put them before all others, I still really enjoy connecting to a lot of people in ways that I consider non-sexual and therefore perfectly legitimate (e.g. hugging, kisses on the cheek, sitting close together, brief fleetint touch) and since those things are an authentic expression of me I am not prepared to stop. And if someone can’t handle that, then I’d be stopping the relationship as a way to save us all some heartache.
Although my husband fights hard against his jealousy, it is there. Most of the time it amuses me (he insists people are looking at me, I am oblivious to this) and I’ve been as patient as I can in explaining the way I interact with people and why, but ultimately there comes a point of “On this issue my dear, you either trust me or you don’t. And as I have grown and challenged and changed myself because of being with you, so can you reprogram your brain on this”.
On the other hand if you are with someone who doesn’t consider those feelings to be a problem, then great. Wishing you best of luck.
There’s really nothing I can do about being jealous so I’ll have to accept it and deal with it. On top of that, I can’t feel bad for being this way because I actually enjoy that out-of-control feeling of being jealous (well, saying this makes it embarrassing, I have to admit).
I think in certain relationships, a balance can be achieved that makes this less destructive, but it’s difficult. Even though I’m jealous, I’m the kind of person that goes: “Don’t you even dare being jealous of me!” Meaning: I’m not going anywhere, so just let me be.
I have Aquarius Mercury and Venus so I would prefer to let go than hang on and fight for someone… especially, as Kahmiri said, someone who I felt would allow another person to interfere with our bond. Yes, I think insanely jealous people need therapy *laughs*.
So, you and the soldier were in phone contact during the time you were with the AMF, right? Or did I get that wrong?
Anyway, if you two have always had this deep, deep bond, and you were in contact, did it bother him that you were with someone else and very happy at the time? If so, how did he handle that? And was he experiencing a transit that might explain an enforced tolerance and delayed gratification? Or maybe dictating an outright resignation that he wouldn’t have you ever again and that talking to you would just have to do?
been thinking about this a lot lately. redefining thing. i have/had an extremely strong ideal of love being something unownable and incapable of being possessed… only experienced and cherished.
but, at the same time, i’m thinking the species was actually designed to pairbond. and the world between two people doesn’t stretch any fatehr than that. i’m wondering if you’re working at the difference between “jealously” (in the wanting to control someone’s interactions with “competition”) and…wanting to preserve the intimacy of the space between you and someone else. i’m not sure if there’s a good word for what i’m getting at. a wish to separate the rest of the world from the private space between you and a specific person. something like that.
not so much a need to control the person.
this is where my aquarius/aries moon/sun get into arguments with the pisces mars that just wants to create a sacred space. and protect that.
wyrdling, I love that: ’sacred space.’ it sums up what I cherish about love. thank you.
Others maybe able to flourish in a relationship rife with jealousy. I could not. I like my romantic, friends, and family relations to have as many friends as possible. Romantic– don’t tell me about other lovers. I like my space and quiet time. I am never jealous of my friends and their friends. I would feel suffocated in a relationship rife with jealousy– kind of like– if I could cause you that much grief then maybe we should not be together and vice-versa.
That was priceless! LOL! I don’t know about jealousy. I have libra (and aquarius), and can’t decide :-). But if I were you I would just be happy that the soldier is fine with it - that you are both fine with it. Why make life difficult?
There must be something gained? A high from the emotional drama or possibly great make-up sex? It seems to me the Cardinal signs like to see where they fit into the mix. How do they measure up? Something is gained from the emotional experience.