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Mar
12

Virgo Wonders How To Stop Punishing Her Boyfriend Over Her Illness: Astrology-Based Advice

Elsa,

Following up on your “projecting in relationships” blogs - do you have strategies to ‘own’ your energy? I am in a very different situation, but I believe the mechanism might be similar. I have been very sick for 9 months now. I have basically lost most of what constituted my life: my job and income, my place to live, my ability to read and write for longer than say 30 min a day. My energy levels are so low I barely manage to do my own housekeeping, and my social life has gone from thriving to non-existent. It is a struggle to get through the day, every day. My long-term perspective, in say a couple of years, is good (they think), but in the meantime it is just survival. The problem is I am having a lot of trouble coping, especially since there is hardly any improvement and I feel so bad.

I know I need to contain my despair and my losses, but I find it difficult, especially with my boyfriend. Before you know it I will be in the millionth discussion of ‘will I ever be OK again’, and the misery grows. And then I am angry at him for not spending more time with me, relieving the pain etc. I KNOW no one can relieve my pain at the moment, but how do I keep my rage and disappointment and hurt from doing more damage than it already does? I need to contain the damage, not let it run rampant. Any advice is much appreciated.

Suffering Virgo
Netherlands

virgo Dear Virgo,

I am going to be enormously rude but it is not because I lack compassion. It is just that you are asking me how to fix this and I know how to fix it immediately and I am hoping a Virgo like you will appreciate the efficiency of this method so here comes…

Just ask yourself this: Would you beat a dog? Would you? Would you take a belt and beat an animal because this is what you are doing to your boyfriend. You are suffering, there he is and so BAM! You slap him across the room.

Now I know you are sickened and that’s the point. If you frame your behavior in this way, you are very unlikely to abuse this man again which will raise your self esteem. With an improved sense of self esteem and control, you will be better able to manage whatever it is you are going through which is obviously Saturn related.

I am sorry for the blunt trauma of this but if it works… well hell. You just got rid of a problem.

Good luck.

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Advice, Astrology, Health, saturn-in-virgo, | Posted at 3:55 am

2 Responses to “Virgo Wonders How To Stop Punishing Her Boyfriend Over Her Illness: Astrology-Based Advice”

kashmiri

Virgo, I’m sorry you are ill. It is difficult to face a prospect of no ending, and I know this first hand. My SO almost died in an accident some years ago and his recovery has permanently altered our relationship.
It is, essentially, ongoing, and will continue for the rest of his life. His physical work is never going to be done (well, he’s a Capricorn so it’s not like it would have ended anyway).

No, it was not easy for me to be his partner during this time…but I was uplifted by his constant gratitude. Small things can really help out your partner. B was unable to work for a good year (and almost 5 years later still is unable to work full-time) but it was the small things.

…like having a bath poured
…or the groceries replenished
…and a big cuddle
…or a phone call just to tell me he loved me

You can make it through and keep your relationship in tact, with gratitude and with living ONE day at a time. If you’re facing an illness with no forseen end, you really have no choice but to live in the moment, which is one of the things that can make it bearable.

(PS. thanks for being aware…it will help you enormously)

3/12/08 @ 6:09 pm (reply)

Mari

Virgo, you might check out “You can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay. She had healed herself from Cancer and this book has many exercises and insights about the importance of forgiveness and self love, and did I mention gratitude?

Hope it all works out for you. And that you can shift your thinking from what you lost from the past to focus on how you want your life to be in the future.

Now it’s just you and your soul. And your boyfriend who’s hanging in there. Gratitude may be really hard to summon, but it’s worth practicing. All the best to you!

3/12/08 @ 8:31 pm (reply)

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