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Astrology, Love And Facing The Possibility Of A Cancer Diagnosis: The Doctor
Catch up here - Astrology, Love And Facing The Possibility Of A Cancer Diagnosis
I was only back in the waiting room a minute or so when the nurse popped her head out, “He wants you to come back.”
“He does?” I was surprised.
“Yeah. I asked him if he wanted you there and he said yes.”
“Okay.” I followed her back with three words on my mind, WTF.
“He told me you went to the restroom,” she said over her shoulder. “I’ve been looking for you.” We rounded the corner and she pointed at an office with an open door. “In here,” she said. She was cheery so I figured it must be okay.
“Hey P,” the soldier said as I walked around the back of the chair so I could see him. He looked all happy.
The next day I would learn no one had ever been in a doctor’s office with him. He didn’t know it was possible to have someone come to your appointment with you - thought it was a Colorado thing.
“Something us tofu-eating libs do?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
I shook my head. “Do you like it?”
“Yeah. Hell yeah, I like it. This way I don’t have to remember what was said but besides, I just like being with you. I want you with me all the time regardless so yeah I like it.”
Back in the moment I didn’t know any of that. He looked normal, just sitting in the chair waiting for the doc so I talked to him normally. “Where are we going after here? Lunch?”
He really didn’t seem distressed and I thought it remarkable how well both of us deal with reality - any reality. I felt calm and grounded when the doctor came in.
He asked why we were there and the soldier told him. It was all pretty stupid, really - Just look in his mouth and tell us if he is going die, damn it. We’ve been waiting!
The doctor seemed to sense our mood. “Let’s have a look,” he said. The look took 30 seconds if that.
“Well I am not alarmed,” he said. “This does not alarm me but we’re going to have to have a biopsy to confirm. We will just want to verify but by the look of this I am not too concerned.”
“Really?” I was grinning ear to ear. I am just convinced these guys know cancer when they see it. It just seems this would be how it is except in the case of some really quirky fluke. “Not cancer?”
“I don’t think it’s cancer,” he said. “But I’m not sure what it is. We’ll have it checked considering the history of smoking but it’s probably just… well I’m not sure. There are some red and white spots in there (this is what oral cancer looks like) but I think it is probably something like hives or some kind of break out that you would get on your skin, except for this is in the mouth. We’ll need to check of course and verify what I am saying is correct.”
I laughed spontaneously and the soldier raised his eyebrows at me. “Thank you, doctor.”
There is a biopsy scheduled for Friday though I am not sure he will make the appointment. Will update when there is news, thanks all for the care and concern and oh yeah, my point!
My point in writing this is it occurred to me you really don’t want to face something like this alone. I thought this story might be the thing to kick some people over the line into really applying themselves to resolve the issues they have in relationship and I don’t mean to be preachy because I have more than my share of problems. But I am old now and when I see firsthand that you can glide through something like this (relatively speaking) when you have love and support it seems it is worth cultivating these things in your life. Love is the strongest, most powerful thing in the world. Don’t you want some of that?
I also wrote this story because I think it invokes Jupiter which is protective. I mentioned the cancer scare a week before the appointment which I know is unusual. Most people would wait until they were clear or had news but not only do I think telling the story has a mysteriously beneficial effect, I also meant to demonstrate my commitment to producing this blog no matter what happens in my life. Jupiter is in Capricorn - I have a commitment (Capricorn) to publishing and storytelling (Jupiter).
I actually think nothing bad can happen as long as I do this and if you wonder how that could be, just watch “Big Fish” and maybe you’ll understand.
Skip to The Biopsy
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I love that movie and I love your stories.
The way you are telling this works for me because it does illustrate how to handle a difficult situation with a nice balance between optimism and realism (Jupiter conjunct Saturn). It took me a frikking lifetime to get something that resembles a handle on that with my Saturn square Jupiter natally.
there is no doubt you know how to tell a story too . . . . ::grin::
the soldier’s shoes must be hanging on a wire over your house.
satori - poor me, I do not understand. Help??? :-p
Yay! I’m always grateful for stories that tell of cultivating love and support in a relationship.
Love to you both!
Your story will prove valuable, Elsa. I feel none who have read it will easily forget it, and should we ever be faced with a scenario similar to yours - remembering your words will certainly help.
Thank you, and The Soldier, and hoping for more good news soon.
you know, in Big Fish, when he’s in the magical town and the little girl throws his shoes up on the wire with all the rest of the town’s. it meant he was coming back… to stay.
satori - Oh yeah, oh yeah! I have to see that movie again, sheesh!!
I was crying through that whole movie - that’s the thing. I remember that scene now through my tears and snot.
Not as much snot at the gay bar fiasco I mentioned yesterday, but definitely significant.
yeah, well, I do know the movie well but that scene resonates cos I think somebody done slung my shoes up a wire in this stinky town!
And Twilight - Thank you. I had that on my mind as well so thanks for noticing.
satori - the stuff that befalls you, I swear!
well, it’s not the same situation, but motherhood really woke me up to how powerful and sustaining a bond of love can be.
I’m so glad the Soldier has you to share his life, Elsa. Love really is what we’re here for.
“But I am old now and when I see firsthand that you can glide through something like this (relatively speaking) when you have love and support it seems it is worth cultivating these things in your life. Love is the strongest, most powerful thing in the world. Don’t you want some of that?”
Yes, I do.
:*)
PixieDust, I think stating it brings it in.
Well, let me state for the record that I do want some of that. I want somebody to hold my hand in the hospital when I’m old.
I think I’ve got my work cut out for me.