People are scared to get old, because that means a few things: one, they suddenly become “worthless burdens” to a selfish society who forgets the second these people hit retirement that they carried the country on their backs for fifty years. We live in a culture that condemns those who can’t or won’t work.

Two, and this is the easy one, is that people are scared to die. No one wants to be reminded that there will come a time where someone is going to toss them in the ground and forget about them. When an older woman looks in the mirror and sees wrinkles around her mouth, she forgets that they come from laughing and smiling and instantly focuses on the fact that her skin no longer snaps back like it did all those years ago. It reminds her that she’s old. Instead of being proud of the life that led to those wrinkles, she’s scared her life is coming to a close.

And three: we live in a society ruled by corporations, where the goal is to sell dissatisfaction before they ever move a single product. If people were happy with themselves and what they had, no one would buy anything unless they had to. That’s no good!

I read an ethnography about the Ju\’hoansi people, a tribe of hunters and gatherers in Africa. In their culture, the elderly and the sick EXPECTED to be taken care of. They didn’t care they were being “burdens.” They didn’t feel like they were worthless. It was a tribal obligation to take care of the people who needed care. It was the job of the family to do it, but if the family couldn’t (or they had no family), the rest of the tribe would do it without complaint. Elders were respected, not reviled.

That changed when the Ju\’hoansi went from hunter/gatherer/nomadic to herder/farmer/sedentary. They started casting their elders out. Families started turning their aging parents away when they asked for help. Interesting, isn’t it, what a sense of personal entitlement can do to an entire culture?

We are bombarded from all sides 24/7 with messages that society idealizes the thin, young and beautiful. Studies show that after women flip through fashion mags, generally, they are depressed. I mean, really, they are using young teens if not adolescents now in fashion ads. Who wouldn’t feel like an old, fat hag?

On Yahoo’s home page today, they had a link to the “25 Hottest Stars under 25″, always they show the most current youngest hottest celebs. I am really hoping that Pluto in Cap, along the way of shaking up governments and other structures, kicks some media ass. Capricorn rules old age and growing old gracefully, right?

Ayla,, are there any cultures left in which Elders are given their due respect? And consulted for their wisdom and experience? I like what R. Ohotto said about letting your wrinkles show where you have been and what you have learned.

when culture equates image with value, and death as the final crash in the market, aging really knocks into your perceived bottom line.

uhm. *tongue in cheek* kind of.

Mari–Off the top of my head, American Indians have done very well when it comes to keeping with their old traditions. I spent a short time with my grandmother on a Navajo reservation and one of the first things I noticed was that the elders in general commanded a great deal of respect.

I’m have no respect for people who peddle “body sculpting” or whatever they call it. None.