I wrote about faith and have those posts loaded ahead for the next day or so. I’ll be leaving my hologram self in charge of this blog for a few days while we travel but on the same subject, I was talking to satori the other night about the soldier’s move and the whole way this turned out.

“Can you believe this is coming out like this? I can barely believe it. Do you remember 2003 when we had that separation?”

“Yes,” she said emphatically. “Yes, it was bad.”

“I know it. I was thinking about that today. God that was awful. It was so bad I can barely remember how… how bad was it? Do you remember? What happened to me?”

“You were just… bereft. You were completely bereft.”

“Yeah, I know. I was in really bad shape. That was deep trauma. I really have no way to explain it. I just remember getting up each day looking for a way out. I had to find one. Like there had to be a way out of the pain and I just couldn’t find it. HQ was calling - I was a wreck. He was trying to help but wasn’t having much luck. I was pretty much inconsolable.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I think he was shocked. Shocked I was so bad and I knew I was bad but I just could not find a door. That’s what I thought every day I woke up. Find a door, damn it. Get out of this pain! And then he came up with that movie. I saw that movie and got out.”

“Yep.”

“Anyway, back then you told me maybe the thing wasn’t over. Maybe it wasn’t, do you remember?”

“I do.”

“Well you were right. For 3 years, not a peep was said and now look…”

I initiated the separation with the soldier back then, it was an agony but it was necessary. I am telling you I was almost in a coma over it and in this misery, satori told me about the seed.

She said I had planted a seed and I had to walk away now, believing it if were meant to sprout it would. “You can’t keep digging it up and looking at it, seeing it’s sprouting. If it will, it will. If it is meant to it will.” She said it with authority too, she has a Capricorn Moon: “Walk away, NOW. Elsa, just walk away and leave the seed!” She said it like a slap in the face to get your attention and I took her advice.

Faith when it pays, there is nothing like it in the world.

Thank you, satori (a Pisces). You too, HQ (a Virgo). I’d have not been able to cope without you.