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People - I Really Don’t Think They Change To Speak Of… And Selfishness
Astrology in real life
This blog is for the old timers. People who have been reading for years and know these names.
I called Leon the other day with an update. I met Leon when I was 19 and we have been lifelong friends. He’s a Libra with Moon, Mercury, Venus, Saturn and the Black Moon Lilith in Scorpio…
“Guess who popped up?” I said. ‘Kathleen!” (Also a Libra)
“Kathleen?” He was shocked. These two collided at Henry’s house when he died. They both helped me clean it out and up and Kathleen and her husband rented it. ‘Well I guess she’s not dead then,” he said with a laugh.
“What?”
“I thought she was dead. Don’t you remember, I called you because I thought she was. I thought she had died.”
I recollected. Someone with her name had died in our town. I didn’t think it was her (common name) because I thought the age was off but Leon wasn’t so sure.
“Oh yeah. Yeah, no, she’s alive. She’s moved though.” I told him her new state. “Yeah, she’s moved but she sounds wonderful. She sounds the same. She really hasn’t changed at all. She’s nice! She’s nice like she always was. I mean, is that how you remember her? How do you remember Kathleen anyway?”
“She was nice. Very nice, she was a fun person.”
“Yeah, well she still is. She’s a gym rat now and has two kids. She had the one baby daughter, now she’s got two kids and she’s very… well you know Kathleen. She’s super loving and she still is. You know what she told me?”
“What?’
“Well she was telling me how her life turned out… the choices she’s made and whatnot and then she said, you know what, Elsa? I’m just not a selfish person. I’m just not. I am not selfish, it’s just the way I am.”
“Yeah, she was never selfish.”
“Right. I couldn’t believe it when she said that. How many people would make that kind of statement? My life is this and that and it’s because I am not selfish and this is okay with me. Someone has to be not selfish and she’s one of the people like this. This was her pure statement and I thought it was quintessential Kathleen because all she ever did is give and love to anyone and everyone who was around, do you remember?”
“I do.”
“Okay, well she’s still doing that. She’s still no selfish, she is still completely Kathleen, she really hasn’t changed a hair.”
“No?”
“No, she’s like us, Leon. We haven’t changed a hair either. You and I are both still a pain in the ass. You know we can barely stand each other.”
::guffaw::
Are you selfish? Whether you are or you aren’t do you feel okay about it? Emphasis on Aries or Libra… 1st or 7th house?
30 Responses to “People - I Really Don’t Think They Change To Speak Of… And Selfishness”
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Packed 7th house in Gemini. Not selfish. Is THAT why Aries always love me?
I am selfish and willful, a lot of the time. Everyone I’ve ever been in a relationship with has told me this, plus a few of my no-longer girl friends. I am working on it. It is on the to-do list.
I chalk it up to Aries moon/jupiter conjunction in 7th house, Taurus Mars in 7th house, all in opposition to Uranus in my 1st house. Uranus is trouble…..
This is interesting. No one has ever called me selfish that I can think of however that have called me bitch many times… hah!
(Not really… er… I don’t think)
By selfish, I mean I am insanely selfish about my time. I’m not selfish with material goods. I just can’t stand to have my time wasted. When I used to drive a car, I would make sure that I drove myself to any parties, because as soon as I am bored, I am out the door. I used to make plans with friends, then grow resentful as the day approached, merely because the plans I made interfered with my sense of possibility. Does that make any sense?
yeah, it makes sense. I hope you don’t think I am remarking in a bad way, Alma. In fact you have inspired the next blog…”what do people consistently say about you in relationship?”
It is really good to know this stuff!
Sounds like a good blog!
i try not to be selfish. sometimes i don’t realize when i am. i don’t pick up on other people’s needs sometimes. particularly when they don’t tell me. if i’m asked i’m usually willing to accomodate, though.
maybe not as much as people want me too, maybe too much, sometimes. the issue becomes boundaries.
got a bit of aries, in opposition to a couple things in libra, and a pisces mars in the seventh.
I think I’m pretty selfish, scads of Libra notwithstanding.
I’m selfish with my time, too. I won’t spend time doing things I don’t like doing.
I don’t care about ’stuff’ and although I’m a little annoyed to share food (Taurus) I will share booze.
I don’t put up with too much crap…that’s had me implicated (but not directly accused of) selfishness.
Yes, I’ve been told I’m selfish quite a bit. I don’t disagree, but it’s more that I’m self-centered than materially selfish, altho I am both… Aries Stellium in the 5th. I think the house placement amps it up a bit too.
Sun/Mercury/Pluto in Libra, and I have a hard time remembering myself. I have Jupiter/Chiron in Aries and that Libra stellium is in my 5th, and I think that has reminded me to achieve things for myself, because I have. But still my impulse is to give myself away (Venus in Virgo too, I think of as love in service to others).
Selfish? You mean I have a self? I exist? Boy, I wish someone had notified me. Maybe then I’d stand up for myself.
ROFL 12th house and neptune in 7th. It’s a bit … foggy
But, yes, very selfish with my privacy and my quiet.
Hmm, lessee.
I’ve got Sun Conjunct Jupiter, and it’s a darned good thing too, because half the time it’s a wonder I notice that anybody else exists.
And that’s how I mainly see myself: not so much selfish as almost completely self-absorbed. I spend a LOT of time reminding myself that there are other beings out there.
I’ve had people tell me that I’m incredibly good and giving, and people tell me that I’m a needy, neurotic handful. I’m a mixture of both. I will say this much: my tendency to break means that I force myself to be selfish more than I want to be, because I know my abilities are usually not up to my desire to help.
When I notice people, my initial response is to want to help them with whatever they need.
I’m getting more selfish and crotchety. Various Virgo, Pisces and Libra Venus, so I think I have just had it basically. People don’t feel I need help, so I’ve pulled myself up by my bootstraps fpr years and I want to relax, be selfish and do things exactly as I want, as much as that is possible. They can go take care of themselves. Enough already.
I’m not selfish with my time or money or love or help. When I have it, I give it, unless you have recently pissed me off, but even then, yeah. But I do need some time alone on a regular basis and I guard that recharge time fiercely. Aries Sun, Moon in Libra, Aquarius rising. Jupiter in Cancer, probably of more relevance to generosity of care.
I’m the person they ask for directions or a bit of spare change. I’m also the person who happens along when you lose your kid in Target. I’ll find that kid, dammit.
My solar return has Jupiter rising, and I can’t wait to see how many opportunities to be generous will find me in the new solar year. I’m not a doormat or a patsy by any stretch, but being of benefit somewhere to someone is really the greatest joy.
You and Leon always crack me up! I don’t think I’m selfish, but with all my Virgo, I can get a bit sanctimonious about how unselfish I am…not very attractive and I’m getting better at catching it as a grow older.
*snicker*
I just asked my most recent ex, who is still a bestest friend, whether I am selfish.
“No, Erin, you’re not. You’re always thinking of other people first, you worry constantly about them. You do sometimes get emotional, but you try as hard as you can to shield people from it.”
Just as I was feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, he says, “Well, except when you get woken up early in the morning, and then DAMN, look out. Sheesh.”
Mars in Virgo in 12th house sextile Neptune in Scorpio in 2nd house, Jupiter in 7th. I give way too much to others, especially at work. Instead of saving my creative energy for my own projects I help others succeed and get ahead (cancer north node in 10th house). And then I feel resentful and complain bitterly (mostly to myself because I know how ugly I can sound). People who know me think I’m very responsible and giving of my time, experience and even money but at heart, I consider myself to be selfish and self-involved (packed 9th house Gemini). With Saturn in Virgo now transiting my 12th house, I’m learning to say no without feeling guilty.
“I would make sure that I drove myself to any parties, because as soon as I am bored, I am out the door. I used to make plans with friends, then grow resentful as the day approached, merely because the plans I made interfered with my sense of possibility.”
Alma that is exactly how I am.. I don’t know that I would classify it as selfish.. after all we have only been given so much time on this planet.. why waste it doing things we don’t want to be doing or with people we don’t want to be with… we are literally paying for every experience we have with the most precious commodity we have.
Uhhhhh…….Stellium in Scorpio in Aries House.
I need to go analyze this….:0
When I was younger I was utterly self-absorbed and yes, very very selfish (Leo Sun, Scorpio Moon, Libra Rising) but having children taught me to let go of some of that, and life taught me more humility in painful but helpful ways.
I’ve noticed though that when bad things happen the old pattern of being self-absorbed still surfaces; us humans do love to pick at scabs. But it’s all a process of push and pull - I think it is possible for people to change the things about themselves that they don’t like, but in some very deep and fundamental ways, we stay the same people that we were at birth. How Libran is that?
Yeah, sun merc and mars in the 1st house, I’m selfish but I try not to be, and feel compelled not to be, jupiter cnj saturn squares my sun from libra, and pluto squares my mars from libra also. I definitely work at being a nicer person.
Oooooo….peppermint! I have a Scorpio Moon and Libra ASC as well! Yeah, I can cop to being self-absorbed also. Having a Stellium of Planets in Scorpio in the 1st is like being an ant under a magnifying glass……on a hot day in July.
Jamie: you made me laugh hard with your description! Yeah it can get pretty hot, can’t it? But I’m hoping this tendency we have to ruthlessly examine every little bad thing (and having to own our part in it) means this might be the last time we have to have a physical existence on good ol’ planet Earth (which is a great big boarding school if you ask me) and we’re just clearing up some loose ends and unlearned lessons . . . Better days ahead!
” (which is a great big boarding school if you ask me)” ….**snickering to self**
Yeah, peppermint. I kind of get the feeling that I’ve outstayed my welcome. I feel kinda’ like the 21 year old senior. Who the hell wants to hang out with the old dude?
Look to your Moon Phase and it will tell you alot about your phase of incarnation in this lifetime. i highly recommend this site: http://heavenschild.com.au/moon_phases.html
I don’t know if I’d say I’m selfish with my time…but I do guard it. I chalk it up to my introverted nature. I once read that for every hour an introvert spends being social they need 2 hours of solitary time to recover. I find this to be very true for me.
I’m very very selfish in all sorts of ways with my parents and people I know who with the Cancer in the 6th house stellium thing might not realize that I’m selfish since I’m more generous than other people in day to day situation. My parents have called me selfish throughout my life. It’s the biggest offense to me, anything with the word “self” in it, it seems. Right now, my friend has got a very bad cold and I was struck by how much I didn’t care and kind of ashamed. I analyzed the feeling (Moon in Cancer conjunct Mercury in Cancer) and tried to claim the cold, complete not caring was a defense mechanism. Like when my dad was sick or now getting a stress test. It’s really bad. I’m selfish with my time (am a loner and want to have my own fun/make the connections and do the events that afford a maximum amount of fun and therefore continuously flake out on my good friends) and other things. It’s really bad.
“Having a Stellium of Planets in Scorpio in the 1st is like being an ant under a magnifying glass……on a hot day in July.”
jamie that’s hilarious
Jamie: I checked out the moonphase link you sent, it was great. I was born right before the full moon! Didn’t know that before - thanks!
Ah, coming to completion . . . I like that.
I’ve also been accused of being selfish my whole life, like someone else said above. I’ve never really felt like I deserved the label, though. For instance, from when I was growing up:
“Hey, sis, you used my curling iron again and didn’t put it back in the right place like I asked. Could you put it where it belongs after you use it, please?” (Saturn in Virgo conunct Sun speaking.)
“GOD! Why are you so selfish!”
A more recent example:
A brand-new, just-met-that-day co-worker, “So do you have kids?”
Me, “No.”
Co-worker, “Do you want kids?”
Me, “No.”
Co-worker, “Why? Are you selfish?”
I am very jealous of my energies, though, and won’t spend them on things I don’t want to. Like Dina feeling bad about about not caring that her friend was sick - sometimes I won’t care if someone is sick and I won’t feel bad about it, especially if said person is inconsequential to me.