It might help to tell him that the Ascendant is the face we show to the world, the personality. He has some intense stuff going on there, with Pluto/Saturn in Scorpio. And the moon in Cap, there’s some icy & analytical for you.

Meanwhile this emotional fellow has Taurus Sun, and a stellium in the house of relationship, the 7th, so yes, he’d like to relate better. I can’t see the posted chart well, it’s too small, so I can’t see what the other planets are there. I can’t tell if Venus is in the 7th or 8th (can’t tell Venus & Merc apart on this chart).

I would think he could create a really lovely, warm, inviting home, a very Taurean thing. And dress in a beautiful way, take really good care of his appearance. Taureans can do all that. That might soften the impression he gives. If he cares about someone, he could try to show the soft side in Taurean-Venusian ways.

But…that intensity is there. Awareness is the first step, and just knowing it’s a “given” is a way to begin to address it, and use it. It’s there for a reason. What tasks are in his life require that “face”?

Taurean,
I also have Pluto rising from the 12th house, and Elsa is absolutely right to advise you not to stare! I’ve been told my stare is intimidating, and as a child, my stare used to unnerve my teachers. I’ve since learned to make my eyes go “soft”. It’s something I learned from working around horses, because they are so sensitive to body language and mannerisms.

In her book, “Centered Riding,” Sally Swift explains soft eyes.
“Focus very intently on one thing…keep looking intently at the object. Concentrate on its exact outlines, its shape, density color. This is the use of what I call hard eyes. Now relax your eyes. Let the object be the general center of your gaze, but look at it with your peripheral vision taking in the largest possible expanse, above and below as well as to the left and right. Be aware of the whole wide world…have the feeling of going within yourself as your eyes encompass everything that comes into your field of vision. Remember that you are still aiming at the central object. This is what I call soft eyes.”

She further explains that when you use hard eyes, you are so focused that you don’t really see anything other than the object you are looking at. She writes, “using soft eyes is like a new philosophy. It is a method of becoming distinctly aware of what is going on around you, inside you. It includes feeling and hearing as well as seeing.”

Try this out! It has really helped me with my staring problem!
It’s odd, because I HATE being looked at. Since I live and work in NYC, it is difficult for me when I ride the subway, because I always irrationally feel that I am under scrutiny.
Anyway, hope this helps!

“I’ve had all sorts of comments about their first impressions of me such as: intimidating, analytical, player, unapproachable.”

It has been my experience that if you don’t provide people with “enough” information (i.e. what they think is enough), they will fill in the blanks themselves. This usually says more about them than about the person they’re trying to figure out.

Alma: I feel the same way! I am also in NYC and always on the trains and HATE being looked at and somehow always feel that I am! (Or am I the one who is staring? I can’t tell….)

I do agree with the others here. That Pluto Saturn up front is definitely going to make you seem unapproachable or cold/stern– Even powerful (and that scares others). People are going to see that Pluto, see that Saturn and.. well… you’ve experienced it so I don’t have to tell you.

My advice might sound stupid but it works for me when I do it. Not only not stare, but you must remember to smile lightly at people. Have to be conscious of it. Super-conscious of it. Think about how your face naturally is… the expressions you normally have…. Even if they don’t seem overly serious to you, they probably do to others–

You don’t need to change how you are. But I think a little bit of conscious manipulation (from you) can help how people respond/react to you– If you soften your appearance. And smiling is an amazingly effective way to do that.

It sounds silly, but I swear: try it.

As for being emotional: you have all these planets in water houses! And your North Node in the 8th– whatever else you have going on, the sensitivity/emotionality is going to be there. Your duty-bound, reserved Capricorn moon might not be so comfortable with all that flow (not even looking at aspects).

Well, there’s more to say, but I’m going to get back to my soup.

My last boyfriend and my current boyfriend both have Scorpio ascendant conjunct Saturn and Pluto (and one was an earth sun sign like you, Taurean). They are both wonderful people, but can intimidate folks who don’t know them. Just the nature of the ascendant. But, you see… some women loooove that. Like me.

Your moon (emotion) is in Capricorn (repression), so I think that might explain a lot about why you are concerned about being emotional to a “ridiculous” degree. Honey, if you want to get some control over your emotions, you can’t blame yourself for being human (a common problem among both Caps and Scorps, and something your language seems to indicate). To do that you have to not disassociate yourself from whatever you’re feeling, but allow yourself to be in it and from that vantage point, understand it. Know that your chart indicates a lot of intense energy and that it’s never going to go away, but you can work with those energies to create many powerful experiences for yourself and others.

If you do that, you’ll be surprised by what you then understand about other people, and how much better your interpersonal skills will be.

Taurus, Scorpio rising #? Here… I’m like Lexie in that I project either kinda sweet and stoopid, or scary and smart. (one gal assumed I was retarded, at first, which she didn’t tell me for a long time, then she decided I was a genius, albeit one pretending to be retarded. SIGH.)

What to do? IDK, but I just decide, quickly, upon meeting a person whether it is more important to exude sweetness or intelligence, and then deal with the misperceptions later. One thing I like about being online is that it bypasses the facial expression problem.

Alma: I take in that city energy and it makes me sick. Have to try hard to shield. This city is crazy!!

When I first came here I thought I would feel anonymous but I don’t, at all. Maybe because I don’t live in Manhattan….

Cheesy like a good, tangy queso dip! Better, E?

My man has Scorp rising with Mars-Venus-Uranus conjunct from the 12th, and he gets the intimidating thing aaalllll the time. I don’t understand it, either.
But he does look intense. He’ll be off daydreaming and one would swear he’s dissecting one’s outfit/haircut (he’s a Libra, so people automatically assume he’s judging their fashion sense) when he’s really thinking about how to protect himself from zombies or what would happen if rabbits evolved thumbs or something.

I like Kashmiri’s suggestion - observe your “neutral” face and see if you would think it was stern (or whatever) if you saw someone else with that expression. If so, find a way to soften it, whether by not laser-focusing on someone or smiling slightly, etc.
And one other thing to ask yourself: if someone is intimidated by my exterior so much that they don’t want to get to know the real me, are they really worth the effort for me to change? Just a thought.

What Kharma said. I’ve got a similar chart and I really have to try to project a sympathetic facade. It doesn’t mean you have to be untrue to your feelings — just think of it as if others see you as a caricature of negativity. Just be mindful that you give off that impression, which I’m sure you feel is inaccurate. You need to be careful to dial it down so people can see the more nuanced truth behind that image.

i’ve found just recognizing where i tend to project the “ice-cold bitch” and learn how to take it less seriously helps. though i think mine’s a mercury uranus cold (but that uranus is scorpio so *shrug*.)

…and laughing at myself.
‘course a great deal of what seems to help the most is learning how to drop my armor a touch so i’m willing to engage more directly with people. not walling myself off.

in this case… the third house (direct communication) has a capricorn moon. so expressionis hammered by a saturnine effect from there too, but cap has this amazing ability to find the humor in just about anything if they try to develop it. humor is a great ice breaker. i’m not sure how one would go about expressing through the moon but i’m sure it works as well as anything else. nurturing, of course, and capricorn can be darn good at that, in a not particularly cuddly way, but effective nonetheless. and expressing some of that can be really effective as a way to tone down certain responses to intensity.

overall… take the time to grow into your skin