With the recent talk of Neptune on the midheaven and being mistaken as a drunk, a whore and various other sundries, I thought I would pull up this old anecdote.

I am about 28 years old here so you can see this phenomenon is nothing new. My pain in the ass-ness is also nothing new and I have had this mouth awhile as well…

The Pisces

Pisces is a Neptune ruled sign associated with confusion and escapism - often through drug abuse, fantasy, and lapses of judgment, among other things. When a non-Pisces has a Neptune transit, they become Pisces-like and here’s a story. (swearing below the break)

I was in the middle of a Neptune transit. A big one. It was a once in a lifetime transit which translated means, I was lost. In fact, I left my apartment this day and pulled onto the one-way street where I lived, headed in the wrong direction. Neptune confuses. I have natal Neptune on the midheaven so people often see me as “mixed up” and this was exacerbated by the transit.

I went out to a bar to study astrology of course. And to have experiences while on this drug called Neptune. And to look for sperm too, since I wanted to have a baby and had my bio clock ticking. I never do anything without a whole bunch of reasons. I’m a born multi-tasker. Some guy approached me.

“Hi”

“Hi,” I said.

“Er… can I talk to you?”

I turned a barstool towards him with my foot in invitation. “Sure. Do you want to sit, or do you think I might bore you?” I asked.

He sat. “No I don’t think you’ll bore me. Thank you, I’ll sit. Can I buy you a drink?”

I glanced at my half-empty glass. “Yeah.”

He signaled the bartender. ‘What is that? What are you drinking?” he asked.

“Orange Juice and soda.”

“What?”

“Orange Juice and soda. Soda water. Half and half.”

He stared.

“Plain orange juice is too thick,” I said staring back. “I’m just a girl.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Are you kidding?”

“No. Are you drunk? I want to know.”

“No, I’m not drunk. I’m drinking OJ for chrissakes.”

“So you’re not drunk?”

“Drunk? No. I’m not drunk. Why the hell would I be drunk? Do I look drunk?”

I was thinking it was textbook Neptune on the midheaven and people think I’m drunk.

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I thought you were drunk when I came over here.”

“Well I guess you’re crazy then because I don’t drink and I’m not drunk.”

“That’s good.”

“Really? Are you glad for me?” I laughed at him.

“Because I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’m in AA and I’m not supposed to be around people who drink.”

“Okay but you’re in a bar so I guess you’re just really lucky, huh? To meet me?”

“You sure you’re not drunk?” he asked.

“Uh huh. It’s Neptoon,” I said.

“So do you come here a lot?”

I smiled because he ignored Neptoon. I figured he must really want to get laid and thinking that I laughed. As soon as I laughed I could see he thought I was drunk for sure, which made me laugh some more.

“Are you sure you’re not drunk?” he said.

“No, you son of a bitch!” My natal Mars Mercury kicked in. “I’m not drunk you dumbass. How many times are you going to ask me? I haven’t been drunk since.. I don’t fuckin’ remember, all right? I haven’t drank in so long, I don’t even fuckin’ remember the last time I did! My god! Whose dad are you? It’s OJ for chrissakes! O fuckin’ J!”

“Can I smell it? Because you sound like you’re drunk to me,” he said calmly… smiling.

“What?”

“Your drink. I want to smell it.”

I leaned back and gave him a stare. “I oughta throw this drink in your face for even asking! But okay, suit yourself.” I slid my glass over to him, deciding to smile back. “But you’re beginning to bore me. I was worried about you being bored, but I should have been worried about me. You’re the boring one.”

He sniffed, “There’s no alcohol in here.”

“Well, no shit. So are you going to invite me to dinner now?”

“Are you hungry?”

“Well yeah. I must be so drunk, I forgot to eat.” I laughed and he looked struck. “Relax. It’s a joke, okay?”

He laughed. “I’d love to go to dinner with you. I think you’re my wildest dream.”

I laughed. but inside, silently. “Okay, well I’m not surprised. It’s just Neptoon. Makes you think I am your wildest dream. Lemme just call the bartender down here and get myself a quart of tequila,” I said.

“What?”

“For my purse.” I snorted.

He stared.

“I’m just fucking with you because you smelled my drink. Actually I like you. Now where are we going to eat? You decide and I’ll follow you.”

“We can go in one car.”

“Well we could, but we won’t. I may be drunk, but I’m not a stupid drunk.”

“Is that a joke?”

I shook my head. “Yes. I’m cute, I’m funny and I’m sober. I’m your wildest dream, remember? But if you ask me even one more time if I’m drunk, I am going to get very pissed off.”

“I bet you get really mad.”

“I do.”

“I like you.”

“I like you too. Let’s go.”

He pulled my stool out. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

He was a Pisces with a Scorpio Moon. Aries rising with Venus in Aries as I recall.

Skip to Part 2 - The Scorpio

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