20
The Depressing Bummer That Is Saturn In Virgo Combined With Jupiter in Capricorn
Astrology in real life…
Yeah, the title of this blog is not politically correct but have you noticed? People are getting sick of PC, I know I am. Things are shifting. But anyway I am living the downside of this shift into the Earth signs and I thought I’d tell you about it.
I have mentioned before I avoid talking about my daughter… her illness. I have explained I have a hard enough time living it day to day so don’t want to spend what free time I get going over it, telling the story (Jupiter) which forces me to relive it / stay in it while I talk. Why do that when I could not talk (avoid) and have an escape? Basically I figure suffering 15 hours a day enough, no need to discuss the suffering for another hour or 2, right? This has come up in many forms.
My friend and colleague, Claire-France Perez put it very simply - “You don’t want to have a dialogue about that….” I do not want to dialogue because whatever story I am telling (Jupiter) becomes reality (Capricorn). So here is what happened and it serves as proof. This is cautionary (Saturn) tale (Jupiter) I suppose. Be careful (Saturn) what you say (Virgo).
My friend, satori has been my friend, satori for awhile. I talk to her a lot, daily usually and I have for some years, maybe five or more. But I have never discussed my daughter with her until very recently, this November when shit really hit the fan. Prior to November, I had just explained to her the same thing I just explained to you and she accepted it.
Now there was not a total seal around this segment of my life. She obviously had some idea what was going on, she’d hear this or that or I would say something in passing but she did not know the details of the degree of the problem until recently when I really had no choice but to fill her in. So now she is filled in and it’s couple months later and guess what? I regret it!
::smiles::
And this is not because of anything she has done or said. She has been an ideal friend throughout this ordeal but son of a bitch if my greatest fear has not been realized. Because now when we talk we talk about this. We talk about this horribly painful thing in my life and I swirl around when we do. I become depressed. I feel depressed the situation is so heavy and I told her last night I just couldn’t stay on the phone with her for long.
“I get talking about this and it just brings me down. I am better off not to talk,” I said. (Limit talking / Saturn in Virgo) “When I am sitting here alone I stay pretty neutral,” I explained. “I know this is something I am going through. I have total perspective on it and I am managing okay. I am doing the best I can. I try to get some work done and let the days pass… just holding things up the best I can. But then I get talking about this and forget about it. I just go spiraling down. I mean, listen to this situation. It’s horrendous and there is nothing anyone can do. What can be done? It has just got to be endured but it’s very difficult and talking for the most part does not help. I just think I should be as quiet as I can because I am telling you that talking about this sinks me like a rock. I just go plummeting.”
I have not decided exactly what to do about this. Perhaps I will ask satori if we can go back to “she doesn’t know what is going on”. She is a Pisces so I am sure she can suspend reality and for the people reading, do you get this?
With Saturn in Virgo and Jupiter in Capricorn, what you say and the stories you tell can get you support but it may also bring a very negative result and it seems prudent to carefully consider what you communicate. Not too comfortable for the likes of me but hey. It’s more comfortable than depression.
Anyone else getting crushed by what comes out of their own mouth?
21 Responses to “The Depressing Bummer That Is Saturn In Virgo Combined With Jupiter in Capricorn”
Leave a Comment
Recent Comments
- isabelle: w/ a mostly fixed emphasis I truly dislike or resist change ...
- wyrdling: i guess it's a good omen for the collective solar return, hm...
- isabelle: yeah!...
- Heather: Kashmiri LOL at the cute butts....sounds like you have great...
- Snapdragon: Flip away, Kashmiri - not enough hair? Flip anyway. They'l...
- goddess: y'all are NUTS! LMAO!...
- kashmiri: happy independence day, my lovely southerly neighbours. i ho...
More
Reasons for talking about it:
To get perspective (bounce stuff off the other person, get feedback). You already have that.
To vent. Maybe this can be good.
To get a buoyancy/support from other people (I’m not alone in the universe trying to deal with this).
Talking about it doesn’t really change anything about the situation (which I am sorry you are going through). So why talk about it?
I am getting crushed by what comes out of my own mouth, definitely. Lately I’ve found out that a lot of the things I say, which I think are playful and funny, teasing things, are actually very hurtful to those on the receiving end. It started about a month ago. I’ve been confronted about it by my father, sister, and boyfriend. I am going to be quiet for a while, and think before speaking.
First of all, let me say that I am really sorry for your troubles. It’s pretty obvious that you have lots of people who love and support you and pray for you, so, can you feel the love?
Well, I agree with Jilly, that for most, verbalizing things helps to release them, gets that stuck energy flowing, transports it outta your head, your chest, your gut. But maybe the person you are talking to is not in the position to help you accept to your situation, and help lift you up spiritually. Pisces feel the pain, and maybe all she is capable of doing is reflecting it back to you. If you want, email me, I have a few links I know would be helpful.
You help so many people, you make us smile, your generosity is sure to be returned to you, hang in there!
I think that sometimes we don’t want to talk or write about ourselves because we don’t sense the right amount of understanding around us… or should I call it “preparation”…
we dread the stereotypical answers, the automatic support that our words would provoke… solidarity sometimes can be awfully predictable… words are so inferior and ineffectual to express what we feel and what we need… the others have so little clues about what we are and how we got there…
when we are so frail nothing is worse than some sort of “normalization” of something we are not ready to consider normal at all– this makes us feel just plain lonely, and certainly misunderstood.
a superficial comment, an awkward attempt of a badly-put cheering-up can make so much damage… the sheer possibility is enough to freeze any desire to call for help…
Thus we consider silence as the better way, until the world is finally ready for our story and vice versa.
I understand this. And I don’t think this has anything to do with the others being willing to listen, or with ourselves being in need to share and all that crap.
Everyone is always in need to share… but it has to be right, useful, it has to work…
Maybe it has to do with how little in the end we all know of each other, and how unique and indescribable is the taste of a life –even and perhaps especially when it tastes like the worse shit.
nonhocapito - That was beautifully said.
I am in awe.
I think also that when you know you will not get what you need from people–no matter how willing they are to help–it turns into indulging them and returning something to them to acknowledge their generosity, and that becomes a drag. You really need to just receive and be helped, but when people are not capable of doing that for you (even if it’s not their fault)it requires MORE from you and that’s less energy you have to endure your situation. And the foot-stamping child in all of us resents that it is this way, and sometimes even resents being so g-d self-reliant, because we also think that if we couldn’t endure it, something somehow would intervene. But being strong enough to take it means we do take it, and it can feel very off, in that the world (we think) should be a much more compassionate place.
It can be very disheartening.
I am the opposite when I talk about it the weight lifts. So I have 1 friend that hears about xxxx part of my missery and I have 1other that I tell about YYYY part so that I don’t over saturate my friends….but I have to get it off!!
We are all so very different and we each need to know how to cope and it is great when friends will let things drop. I am sure Satori (from everything you have said about this friend) will let you talk when needed and not push the issue
it can go either way. when i’m with a friend going through a trauma, i talk with them about what they want. sometimes, it may be the trauma. other times, anything so long as it’s totally different.
you know what makes you feel better when.
There are def some things I don’t talk about, because merely talking about them hurts too much. I’d rather keep certain thoughts in my head, where they are safe and silent—or are they??hmmm……
But there are only a few chosen things I don’t talk about. Other than that I’m pretty much an open book.
nonhocapito–that was so beautiful. I wish I had the skill to communicate my thoughts so well. It’s definitely a gift I don’t posess
People are getting sick of PC, I know I am. Things are shifting. But anyway I am living the downside of this shift into the Earth signs and I thought I’d tell you about it.
Well, I’m sick of PC, too. On the other hand, as I said, I’m just not having a bad time. Perhaps I am missing something, but after three or four really bad years, and some not so good ones before that, having this shift turn out well for me would be nice, cuz I’m kinda sick of getting screwed.
But if it sucks for you, it sucks for you, and my sympathies… cuz I just went through that.
I have not decided exactly what to do about this. Perhaps I will ask satori if we can go back to “she doesn’t know what is going on”.
Well, you know, (he says, trying to tread carefully and then realizing he knows there’s a minefield here but he has no clue where the mines are, so might as well do it fast as do it at all) they say that long, drawn-out terminal illnesses (in elderly people) are much more traumatic to the surrounding family, than the short, sharp shock. The reverse might seem to be true at first thought: people would get to say goodbye, ‘get closure’, etc. But it so turns out that the emotional loss occurs in either case, while dragging it out reinflicts the pain over and over.
Denial is often invoked as a cause of dysfunctional behaviour, but the thing is, is that denial is a working (and useful) defense mechanism that exists to protect the mind in situations that must be endured. It is when it is in effect in situations which can be changed that denial becomes a problem.
Likewise, the tendency to encourage people to express their anger all the time seems to backfire a lot; people get angrier, not less angry. (If you never get angry, even when you should, that’s bad, but that’s not what I’m talking about.) I’d expect sadness to tend to be the same way.
So if you want Satori to unremember what you told her, that seems like a perfectly sensible idea to me.
max
[’Whether it’ll work or not is a different question.’]
nonhocapito–yup. thanks for your beautiful words.
I don’t say much when I’m under a lot of pressure. I have a lot of sensitive people in my life who depend on me to maintain my equilibrium.
Talking…I do find it too much in a crisis. I have psychic awareness…and a Pluto square Capricorn Moon, as well as Aries Mars opposed Libra Pluto. My NN node is in Libra. That Capricorn is a jealous lover, I tell you.
There’s more work to be done, always.
I also feel like talking too much in times of crisis my energy is being DISPERSED and that is really treacherous when your life depends on keeping that vibration steady.
Don’t talk; funnel your vibrations to one steady hum if need be. I’m more than sure satori would understand (I think you are too).
nonhocapito, that’s true. That’s why I’m scared about answering a friend who gave me some disappointing news about herself today.
Also, some things are much, much too painful to talk about. Sometimes you don’t want to talk about things that are positive, either. I have a kind of OCD thing where I save talking about something for a long time, maybe something I’m hoping for (not to jinx it, hah) or something I’m waiting to get to.
I have always been like this, feeling calmer and more peaceful (as “neutral” as possible, to use your word, Elsa) about a situation the fewer people I spoke with about it. I have never had a concrete explanation for it, but amid this discussion, and hearing it from others’ point of view, I think I might (at least a rough, seat-of-my-my-pants initial one, for now, lol): If one is sensitive to energy and at all empathic, then you sense in the people you are talking about their sadness, pity, even compassion on your behalf. As someone who is naturally content (Jupiter conjunct Pluto in 1st, perhaps Jup in 2nd), those feelings are downer energies vs. the hope and cheer you I would feel from the same person were the tough issue not in their consciousness.. I’m not certain about this, but it is an early thought.
So much love and support to you.
With Mars/Merc in Scorp on the 12th house side of the ASC, I tend to keep my “stuff” to myself, at least while it’s critical, and discuss it after the fact with friends.
Over the years, I have been the recipient of many painful confidences. However, having Libra & Sun conjunct Jupiter, I like to balance the painful conversations with lighter moments. In fact, this final Pluto/Sun transit found me surgically removing people from my life who insisted on dwelling on their crap to the exclusion of everything else. I refuse to be a dumping ground anymore . . . I see this as about finding a balance (Libra) between our pain and joy. We need the rest of focusing on what feeds us - if that makes sense . . .
My roomate’s girlfriend (libra/sorpio cusp) has been mad at me since some undetermined time in december over something I said. I didn’t find out until new years, and she refuses to speak about it. It makes things awkward when she comes over, and because when she’s not around my roomate (pisces) is pretending the situation doesn’t exist and I am colluding (lalallalala What? who? where?) Well sooner or later this suckers going to burst and as pluto inches closer to my sun/merc conjunction I keep looking over at my moon currently opposition Uranus and cnj Saturn..
I noticed this when my son had surgery last week. I was rather careful on how much info I gave out and still was forwarded an email that someone had written that completely botched the details. It didn’t matter really, but I felt as if I had wasted time and energy I could have spent with him.
“Everyone is always in need to share… but it has to be right, useful, it has to work…”
so well said, so true and often so hard to know.
someone said some awful things to me a couple days ago and can’t remember any of it now.
i have to figure out how much reality to give to the words echoing around in my head.
Elsa… hey, that was mercury transiting in sextile with my stellium to make me so eloquent
nonhocapito, hee. i love astro humor. and when it’s literary, heaven!
Yes - I revealed a bit and the silence has been DEAFENING!!!
What nonhocapito wrote about receiving pat, polite answers making the person feel more isolated and misunderstood really hits home for me.
I’m extraordinarily bad at these types of things. I generally want to avoid all mention of shitty circumstances in my life, except to those also going through the shit. So when someone announces their problems, I really just want to give the person a hug and let them know I’m there, but I feel pressured to say the “nice” things that are so meaningless — thereby not comforting the person at all.
It’s very odd.
I’m glad that my long-time friends grok me so well. I can just give them a hug and crack a joke and they understand I’m there for a sounding board if they need it.