10 days ago…

“Yeah bring it,” I said sadly, referencing the book tape. “But man, do I ever feel like crap. I don’t know what to say. I am not very happy right now but obviously you were to meet your destiny and you did.”

“Yeah, but I wanted you to come with me, P.”

I sighed. “I know but listen. Think about this from my end. If you are going to go kill people I want to know who you are going to kill and why you are going to kill them. I want to know exactly what your interest is in this or I’m not getting married. And you didn’t tell me.”

“I told you everything I knew at the time.”

“Okay, I’ll take your word for that. I really can’t process this right now. I will have to find out but I can’t stomach it at the moment. I mean don’t get me wrong. I am glad you are history. You were obviously destined to be part of history because you went on to do this all over the place your whole life and while I feel very proud of you, it really brings no comfort finding this out now. I mean, we spent our lives apart because of this. That is what I know. That is what I know and I just can’t figure out anymore right now. There is too much going on.”

He called me some days later:

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Looking at the chart of Iran. Of that day, I mean. It was damned near your birthday,” I said.

“Yeah it was.”

“Well I am looking at the chart of that day and trying to figure this out,” I said. “It impacts your chart of course but oddly enough it may be that it hits mine even harder which is not that surprising considering how I feel right now. I feel horrible. You may be over there but while you are my life is changing irrevocably and I’ve got nothing to say about it. Can’t you see this? It’s your destiny but our destinies are intertwined. Nothing can happen to you without impacting me profoundly and I would like to understand this. I mean it’s obvious the universe set the course of your life with this event but what about me? What is the universe doing to me when it sends you off like that? What besides making me sick, I mean?”

“P…”

“Don’t worry I’ll figure it out. That’s what I am trying to do that with these charts. I just I hope I can find some insight because this is how this has hit me. It’s hit me hard. It is traumatic from my perspective. I just can’t tell you how bad I feel.”

skip to Part 4 - Boundaries