Broadcasting The 8th House And My Un-Comfort Zone
Astrology in Real Life
On the phone with a friend last night regarding the situation with my family…
“I am not very comfortable, I don’t know how else I might characterize it. I was numb for awhile there and have moved past that or at least out of that at the moment to a place of horror, I guess. It’s a horror because I can see all the angles but I can’t communicate them because there are too many, and to who? I am also not triggered.”
“No you’re not triggered,” she said.
“Yeah I know and it would be much easier if I was. If I was triggered, I would just go off, right? I could start yelling at people and just get it out of my system but as it is I can see the whole situation, at least most of it and I can see it inside out and backwards and fact is there is nothing pleasant about it. It is a totally jacked up and its plain to see I will be in it for a very long time but what I do? It’s a fate. It’s a fate and though I am glad I can control myself, I really would like to be a little more na¯ve. I would like to think I could blow up all over the place just to get it out and have it be justified… or at least think I was justified but as it is I have to just stand in the middle of this with the whole thing and all the people and their personalities swirling around.”
“That’s true.”
“Yeah, there is nothing I can do about any of this, or at least very little. I have no choice but to fall back on faith. The idea it will come out the best it can although in this case there really is no best, is there? In this case it is just a horror to be experienced and then maybe I help someone someday and that’s it, but for me? There is nothing good in this for me. It’s like watching a car wreck and saying it did you some good except this is a million times worse than that.”
Have you ever felt as if you were standing in the middle of a painting of hell? This is how I feel. I find it very hard to believe reality.
7 Responses to “Broadcasting The 8th House And My Un-Comfort Zone”
I have found that the best shield against hell is still the cross, in Astrology it would be Saturn. Saturn is also known as the guardian of the threshold (for things to come into time). So when I stick to my Saturn, everything falls in place (not the place I wished but the one they belong), and the whole painting or theater vanishes. This is different for each of us, you may look where your Saturn is and what limit it is meant to protect.
As a mom, I feel that it is very painful when you cant just fix “this” what ever it is. I would like my children to know that they can conquer what ever it is they set their minds to, that they are never victims. I dont know what you feel, but your blog created this response. You guys are a solid team.
Yes I have. When my SO almost died. I couldn’t believe the emotions that rose up, and I too had to keep telling myself ‘this is really happening.’ My Venus Neptune wanted to stay sleeping.
There have been some really bad times in the recovery process since then and in the middle of all that I discovered meditation. I do it in a local group and when my teacher says
‘don’t leave the room’
I realized, yes, the trick is to not leave them room. Don’t leave the painting. Get into the eye of the hurricane, where it’s safest and calmest.
Elsa,
Your recent tough situation motivatited to write in appreciation of you. You see, I am in a situation where I’m experiencing many attributes you feel and also those of your child. An arrogant statement I know, but agony gives me some holpefully helpful license. You see I’m a 44 year old father of two young ones and have been battling leukemia for five years. Unlike some in my position, my physical pain and doubt about life are inescapable and seem infinite now. (hell) But really it is not infinite. What I want to say to you is this is an experience for you both and time is not standing stilll no matter what. If something happens to me I must believe that all will smile again. Your child has already touched you and everyone positively and in that sense her life, all of our lives, are complete although potentially ending at any time. I reallize I have intruded into personal space. I believe there is no way I could possibly be of servce without doing so.
Steve/Scorpio
yes.
but i was lucky, in that when the doctors finally figured out the problem, it was really easy to fix. but she spent eight months hovering half here and half in the next realm before that happened.
i don’t want to imagine what that would be like with a child, rather than a beloved friend. i know i couldn’t. and i don’t want to find out.
it changes you, to stand in that place. which i’m sure you’re well aware of.
i hope you have the strength and support you need and beauty around you (not in the superficial sense of the word.)
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Yeah, I have. Sometimes I think it’s my lot to be witness for this kind of shit. It sucks more than one can possibly describe. Then again, I’ve got an Aquarian moon, so it’s easy for me to detach even when I should by rights be triggered.
I’m sorry, E.
Much love.