Dumped Hard, Brokenhearted At Sixteen: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
I’ve been through quite a difficult few weeks. There’s this guy, I love him, and I have loved him for several years. I had gotten used to the fact that me and him were unlikely to happen, but then, one day, something changed, we talked for ages online. And then, everyday since then, we’ve talked online for ages.
He told me that he definitely wanted something to happen, he even said that he loved me, and that he missed me when I wasn’t there. But, one day, he didn’t talk to me online, and when I tried to communicate with him, there was no reply. I have consistently tried every day to talk to him, but he hasn’t replied once. I just don’t understand. It’s truly broken my heart, I let myself believe that something could happen with this amazing guy. I just don’t know who to turn to. Can you help?
Sixteen Years Old
United Kingdom
Dear Sixteen,
I feel terrible for you. I am so sorry this guy pulled out like that and broke your heart in the process. It’s very important you don’t blame yourself for his behavior. The fact is no one deserves to be left in this manner and only a coward pulls this kind of stunt - so my advice is that you think in one direction as opposed to another.
Think about how this man is someone who can drop out like this, knowing full well you are going to twist and ache about it. Think about the quality of person who could act in this manner and re-think the idea he is amazing. Because is this an amazing thing to do? It’s not.
Once you’re done thinking about that, think about how you are never going to do something like this to another a person, knowing how badly it injures them and if you follow this path you will be living your chart which with Venus in aspect to Saturn, shows a person who can be responsible in love.
What you don’t want to do is live the negative expression of that same aspect… that is to dog yourself, feel there is something wrong with you or you are flawed in some way because this is not the case! Do you see how dicey this is? You are going one way or the other. Chose reality over your fear, okay?
Reality - this guy is a jerk, regardless of what you thought or how you felt
Fear - He is terrific and no one will love you ever.
Much love and good luck.
Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation
10 Responses to “Dumped Hard, Brokenhearted At Sixteen: Astrology-Based Advice”
Elsa, you’re such a fantastic person, I love this advice :o)
I agree with Elsa that you should not beat yourself up about this in any way. I would add that you should not berate yourself for falling for him in the first place either.
Even when a person turns out to be not who you thought they were, that you loved that person shows your capacity to love. You have a beautiful open heart and if you felt this kind of thing for one person, you will surely feel it for someone else more deserving in the future.
Like Joana, I had an identical experience when I was 17 with a guy I loved to bits (except we loved talking on the phone). It deeply affected me. Elsa has some great advice for you, and so does Lupa!
Oh, teenage heartbreak is so much worse than heartbreak at any other age. You will get through it, Sixteen. You will be transformed into a stronger person, and life will be sweet again. I promise.
Ouch. I’ve experienced this one too, and it sucks indeed. Elsa and Lupa are right: it’s not you, you are capable of loving. It’s him that can’t give/receive love. While this is hard to get over, it gets better over time, and you’ll definitely get a better perspective when you have some distance. I like what Elsa said about using this as an opportunity to learn what NOT to do in relationships. Excellent advice. Also, in time you might see that people who do this are very troubled. It takes a lot of pain and fear to cause someone to abruptly cut themself off from something they wanted. He’s probably afraid of being hurt. But this isn’t your problem, so be compassionate and let him deal with his own stuff. Meanwhile, you can look up and live your own life. Someday someone will have the courage to love you without fear 
This was very good advice.
One thing I’ve always sworn I’m going to do when I have kids is never to belittle my teenagers’ feelings about their first relationships. When you’re a crusty adult, yeah, it seems like they’ve got their “whole life ahead of them,” but things like this start bad patterns if they’re not dealt with right.
That said, I’m so glad you and the commenters didn’t immediately rag on this girl for her age and the circumstances of the relationship like, “Oh, you’re sixteen, you weren’t gonna marry this guy anyway, GET A GRIP” or, “WAIT A MINUTE, you’ve only talked ONLINE, and you’re BROKENHEARTED?! CLUE PHONE FOR YOU!!!”
(People did that to me when I was a teen and in early college, and even now to some extent, and then they’re shocked when I put myself down. Train of thought.)
haha, I wish someone had given me advice like that at sixteen.
Awesome, Elsa!
My favorite element of Elsa advice: consistently showing how to find integrity. Perfect example here: ” think how you are never going to do that to another person knowing how badly it injures them.”
If people (me included) could learn to transcend their pain in this way, boy what a great race humans would be! Thanks, Elsa.
Do I detect a little ‘Henry’ training? 
Get A Consultation
I'm available for consultations! You can schedule a consultation by phone. You can also read what clients have to say about my consultations. Thanks, I look forward to working with you. :) - Elsa P
More
Recent Blog Comments
- lilly: Do I even HAVE to mention that the 29th is my birthday? With...
- spacerockz: I have moon opposition venus... I definitely a wham bam than...
- dorchid: i get it, thanks elsa! from now on i will post and leave it ...
- pippa: An interesting post that inspired me to study a little. ...
- Elsa: dorchid, the spam filter is hosted off site, you can read ab...
- dorchid: (why do my comments get eaten so often? *frown*) Sun in 1...
- wyrdling: a great day for working together to move a whole bunch of he...
Recent Board Posts
Same thing happened to me (and worse), girl, when I was your age and it’s awful when we simply don’t understand why. I know it’s probably hard to see how insensitive this boy really was to you, when you have strong feelings, but, trust me, you will sooner or later.
For now, if I were you I’d prepare myself for moving on and never falling for the same stunt if he ever shows up again (because he might…).
Good luck!