Zavela writes poignantly about her father:

Could it be the Saturn in Virgo that made me to realize that I am a sinner? My father didn’t deserve to be rejected but it is too late to hug him and let him know my feelings.

The hunt after career and to provide good living to my children became such priority of my life that I forgot my father, my brothers and my childhood. This year has brought to me, I must say, weird experiences which brought back memories from my childhood. That led me to do research on my family background. I found out that my father was Jewish. He never told me, he never told anybody. Why? I will never know. There was WWII….. I never met his family, he never spoke about his family and I never asked. It is too late now. He died last summer and my mother died when I was 10. Until a few weeks ago I didn’t realize what a selfish ignorant I am.

(((Zavela))) I am very sorry for your pain.

First, I hope you are not too awful hard on yourself for too long. Virtually everyone pulls away and “abandons” their parents in order to establish themselves as an adult. It is a normal part growing up and as parents we know this, because we did it to our parents.

We also know if our children are not aware of us in the moment or if they are supposedly neglecting us, they will become very aware later on and we love them so much they already and always forgiven without even needing to ask.

Last, we know it will be enormously painful for our children when we pass. We know this even if they do not and I can pretty much guarantee your father’s deepest desire is that you live happy and free. What else could he possibly want?

It is true you can’t hug your father or ask him about the war and other things, firsthand. However, it is also true that pieces of these things will find their way to you for the rest of your life… in affect, your father will be talking to you in this way. He will always be with you because you are part of him and he is part of you and nobody and nothing (even death) changes that even one iota.

I hope you will forgive yourself. I am sure he already has. Much love.

Don’t Drive By Without Stopping