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Jupiter In Sagittarius: Cultural Differences Between Asians, Westerners and Italians
Astrology in real life
Awhile back, HQ outlined the difference between the way Asian people make deals and the way the Western word negotiates. Basically, the Asians come up with what they thinks is fair to both sides… they come up with their best offer and they go to the other party and make it.
In contrast Westerners come in with a low offer, the other party makes a high counter-offer and the two settle somewhere in the middle. I think this is interesting. Either system seems to work fine as long as everyone understands what it is.
So I was thinking about Italians (as I would with Pluto uprooting my Moon / roots) and we have our ways too. They are Mafia-like, let’s face it.
For example, Italians trade favors, this is in our blood. Consequently if you ask an Italian person a favor they will most likely grant it and graciously. But at that point you will be considered in their debt. You owe them. This is understood and that is all there is to it.
Now this holds whether you know it or not… and Italian people definitely think you should know it. So when an Italian has done you a favor and you have not repaid it or made some kind of gesture and you come back and ask for another favor the Italian person is going to have the hair stand up on their neck.
When you come around for your third favor, they hate you and you risk getting whacked.
Fourth favor? ::shakes head::
At that point you’re fair game. No one cares what happens to you. Literally or figuratively you cease to exist.
Your name will not cross the Italian person’s lips, or if it does we will all spit at the sound of it as while it is ok to be stupid, we draw the line at ungracious lack of gratitude!
So it occurred to me today how a non-Italian person might be completely baffled by this system and I wonder if this is the case. Because it seems to me it goes like this:
“Can I have a dollar, Elsa?”
“Sure.”
“Can I have another dollar, Elsa?”
“Sure.”
“Can I have another dollar?”
“No, I am going to kill you.”
And the person is standing there confused, like what’s her problem? I thought her purpose in life was to give me dollars…. 
Is the anything the people from your culture understand inherently that others may not?
9 Responses to “Jupiter In Sagittarius: Cultural Differences Between Asians, Westerners and Italians”
I’m american and I get this. I get the feeling that they think I’m there to be used by them. if you’re helpful your place is to be used, ever increasingly, and they DO NOT get it when you call a halt. and they hate you for it. you’re reaching above your station. I realize many people would not see the situation this way but I unequivocably do. it’s happened to me so many times.
Honestly Americans celebrate when they screw someone else over in business deals…and sometimes they take that attitude into personal relationships too…for however long they last.
Like someone rather astutely described Scorpio on this blog: playing a zero-sum game. This is the game many Americans play in a ‘fun’, detached way, or so it appears from my jaded perspective right now.
“anything the people from your culture understand inherently that others may not?”
I’m British, English to be exact. We are supposed to disply the “stiff upper lip” in times of stress and strain - no dramatics or hyperbole, or hyper anything!
I’ve lived in the USA for 3 years and can see that this is one subtle difference in cultures.
I think most Americans are generally quicker to show their emotions in a more dramatic way than most Brits who try initially to remain calm whenever possible, though there are exceptions on both sides - let’s not steroetype too much!
But towards the end of my time in the UK I did notice that things seemed to be changing slowly in this regard, possibly due to the fact that so much TV, and so many movies, from the USA have become a part of life there nowadays.
My very Italian-American father neeever pays the asking price when negotiating a deal. It is a matter of pride that he can “DICKer” you down.
Yep. In Portugal we understand that to get somewhere in life you need someone to pull some strings for you in the backstage.
It’s a terrible thing.
my father is totally into this mafia way of doing favors.. he does you a favor and you’re stuck.
I’m totally the opposite. I agree with all that neith said about herself, it applies to me too.
pisces sun, moon conj neptune.
I like being nice to people/doing favors, but having any expectation of their return makes me ill. I’d rather not even think about it and just assume they’ll never “pay” me back, that makes me at peace.
haven’t figured why that is. i’ll gladly accept people being nice to me, but it also makes me ill to accept it if I think it’s not unconditional.
father is virgo, with cancer moon, venus conj saturn in scorpio. I’m neptunian and aquarian.
About the culture, I can’t answer. I don’t fit in a particular culture except maybe western world culture. oriental cultures have strange habits that could be fun to hear about.
I read that they tend to speak badly of themselves, this is seen as being modest and humble. you’re not supposed to say anything good about yourself ever.
yup, I’m not Italian, but I grew up with the same ‘mafia’ attitude in my family. Favors given put others in debt, favors accepted put you in debt. Now, when someone offers to do me a favor (without my asking for it) I usually get pretty suspicious! There’s almost always something up their sleeve.
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Intellectually i understand how these other systems work and have seen them in action but personally I will do my best to negotiate a win-win situation every time. I don’t care about high/low or keeping track of favors though equitable counts very highly with me because if I want to do something for someone I’ll just do it with nothing expected in return. And I HATE bargaining from the winner/loser point of view - rather give everything away!
This is a personal philosophy and has little to do with my cultural heritage (which is northern European, mostly Scots/German/English)….. probably has more to do with Libra Sun & Moon conjunct Neptune(don’t like to argue with others . . .)