Things You Say When You’re Angry - Do They Count?

12 Responses to “Things You Say When You’re Angry - Do They Count?”

1. kashmiri says on 10/11/07 at 9:25 am:
   

   Oooh. I really try to mean what I say. But the most common thing I say is ‘It’s okay, don’t worry about it.’ When what I REALLY mean is:
   ‘I don’t know what I feel about this right now, I’d like to get back to you on it.’ Then I forget about it like a spell of amnesia and when it resurfaces? It’s not very pleasant. I guess this is the part where I’m thinking about resurfacing my personality, right !:) Oh, look. I meant to type re-work. But maybe resurface is more interesting.

   I’ve said some really obnoxious things in my life, when after I’ve thought ‘They didn’t really need the message attached to a burning arrow nailed to their front door!’ but all said and done, I am honest.

   Now I just have to work at eliminating statements I want to be true, as to BEING true, LOL!

2. joana says on 10/11/07 at 9:34 am:
   

   Angry things count too, even though we may say them thoughtlessly. But we should take responsability for what we say - Mercury in Capricorn.

   I often feel ashamed of what I said - if it was hurtful or simply foolish and that’s something that stays with me.

   I have Mercury square Mars, so saying impulsive things is something I have been working on.

3. goddess says on 10/11/07 at 10:05 am:
   

   i can sometimes say things when i’m pissed that i didn’t plan on saying, but it’s never just bullshit because i’m angry. in fact, it’s most likely to be _very_ true, although maybe not so charitable and much less diplomatic than when I’m not angry.

   i don’t get angry all that much, but my mars in scorp makes whatever comes out of my mouth at that time particularly cutting. and it slices exactly because it’s true. i’m glad i have a long fuse.

   actually, i am very unlikely to bs at any time. there’s something about bs that kind of makes me feel ill and i have a very low tolerance for it in general. it complicates life so much. say what you mean and mean what you say, and forget this stupid posturing and guessing and crap. phsaw.

   on the personality question…i have a huge capacitiy for service, via strong mercury, and i’ve found though the years that can be taken advantage of very easily, or i can simply dump caring and energy into someone who is not going to make good use of it, thus leaving me frustrated and feeling unappreicated. so i am much more discriminating in whom i direct my helping energy towards now, and i do pay much more attention to what i get out of the deal too, to make sure it feeds me as well as the other person.

   always thought provoking questions, elsa. thank you.

4. Kathy says on 10/11/07 at 10:32 am:
   

   Mercury in Taurus (also my sun sign - slow), square Saturn (inhibited), square Pluto (obsessive) in the 12th house (intuitive). I’m slow to speak, and very inclined to answer no if someone pushes me before I’m ready to make a decision. I can almost read people’s minds, although I don’t consider myself psychic - just very sensitive (12th house?). Still, I always warn people not to bait the bull. When I lose it, I lose it good, and you will be verbally taken apart. I always give warning signsthat I’m about to blow, but I don’t say things I don’t mean - I always think things through. I am frequently sorry I said things afterwards, though, because I know the words I said, even though true, really hurt. These days I tend, rather than to argue in person, to write out my argument which gives me the chance to really ream someone then hit delete and send it to trash - no harm done and I’ve processed the emotions. I have much better relationships this way and working through my feelings this way lets me defuse the anger and deal with the underlying pain in a sane and rational fashion - I forget it ever happened. It works for me.

5. Kathy says on 10/11/07 at 10:35 am:
   

   Sorry, to answer the question, I think what people say when they are angry is unfiltered, so it is true and they are responsible for it. The reason I write is so I never have to try to take back hurtful words. After 22 years with a verbally abusive man, I know how long those words can sting and an apology really never erases them.

6. Becca says on 10/11/07 at 10:35 am:
   

   Actually, no. I generally say whatever I think will end the argument fastest, or (more likely) whatever will ensure there is no argument to begin with. Then I do my best to follow through on whatever I’ve said, even if I’m not very happy about it.

   It takes me so long to get really angry that if I ever am mad enough to say something cutting, you can be sure it’s what I really think, because I’ve been turning it over in my head for a long time.

7. Valkyrie says on 10/11/07 at 11:16 am:
   

   #1: Harsh words can inflict pain that isn’t erased by apologies…same with glib, oily words that others take for something real but are just opportunistic. I’m reminded of that book, Five Languages of Love, which asserts that people are especially responsive to one of five different expressions of love. These include Service, Words, Gifts, Attention, and one more that I can’t remember. (Not my language, I guess :)) I suppose those who fall into the Words group would be especially sensitive to all forms of communication. Words really count for something to some people, and they’re water off a duck’s back to others. If someone tells me something with enough conviction–even if I suspect it’s BS–I almost CAN’T disbelieve them.

   #2: I have loads of Gemini and 3rd house: ultra-accommodating, obstacle-skirting. I used to find these virtues, but now think they make me invisible–to others and (worse) to myself. Am definitely working on materializing, and that means bumping into things.

8. Hiro says on 10/11/07 at 11:18 am:
   

   Sun in Aries 8th house, Mercury in Gemini in 10th house. I blow up bridges with rage and relish and say exactly what I mean and nothing more. I can’t help but do it, especially if it involves a perceived injustice. Raging fast and furiously allows me to get over things pretty quickly though But woe to those left in the wake.

9. Gem says on 10/11/07 at 11:29 am:
   

   I also have mercury conjunct mars and same thing with being direct and being held accountable for it. I mean what I say and have been told by people close to me that my words can be mean &/or insensitive….I don’t mean to be, I just answer what is asked. If it’s a pointed question, I give a pointed answer. I have tried to be more pleasant and careful with my word selections and tend to keep my mouth shut more than not to the point where people think I am near mute! This is also conjunct my sun in a fixed sign, so I identify words and actions with who I am…inflexible and black/white.

10. Jennifer says on 10/11/07 at 11:38 am:
    

    I’ve reworked a lot. I am a lot less outwardly smothery-needy than I used to be. These days, I don’t feel so much, I stay detached, I let people do their own thing, I try not to get offended.

    Unfortunately I can’t get rid of NEEDYNEEDYNEEDY entirely, but that hole will never be filled no matter what I do, and at least this way I don’t drive people away screaming. Now I understand why people were so annoyed at me back in the day, because people being needy now drives ME nuts. Go figure.

    Actually, the fun thing about having less feelings and not caring so much is that I am a lot blunter and really feeling my Sag moon these days…I try not to outright kick someone in the crotch, but I now outright say what I’m thinking instead of holding it in so I don’t lose people and/or make them mad.

11. wyrdling says on 10/11/07 at 7:00 pm:
    

    of course they count.
    sometimes the only time i actually open up and talk about things is when i’m angry….

12. Korellyn says on 10/12/07 at 12:08 am:
    

    They count, though I wish they didn’t. There comes a point for me when I get really insanely angry at which I snap. I go completely ballistic, and it’s very unsettling because it’s like I black out. I honestly do not remember the things I say when this happens, but only know from what other people (who I trust) have told me. Needless to say I’ve worked very hard at learning to control my temper and this hasn’t happened in several years, but the potential exists, and it scares me.

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