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Can Men and Women Be Platonic Friends? Gray Rape and My Pluto Transit Through The 11th House
Astrology in Real Life
I mentioned in the comments of the Saturn/Pluto blog I had a date rape situation come up with a man I thought was a “friend”, except it was no date. We were on purely friendly and had been for years. He was well aware of my budding involvement with another man (the soldier) but he apparently thought if I was coming to his house, I must be interested in him or more likely he figured, “I’ll try this and see what happens”.
Had something occurred it would have been a so-called “gray rape”, I suppose. What am I doing at his house if I’m not interested?
Well fact is he was very social and I am somewhat social. I felt comfortable because I’d known him for years, and entertained people at his house all the time. Plus we’re old! He was 50 and a doctor no less so it’s not like he was stupid. He made a calculated decision to sell me out, cheap.
That’s what I call it when a friend or someone you think is a friend sacrifices their friendship with you for little or no gain. But anyway, here’s the question and it’s age old but still:
12 Responses to “Can Men and Women Be Platonic Friends? Gray Rape and My Pluto Transit Through The 11th House”
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This was so hard for me to decide! I’m a double aquarian and uranus is in my 11th house…scorpio moon,so I want to believe that everyone can be friends, and I have alot of them, but I know that deep down that it can’t always happen. I had many encounters with my male friends. I brushed it off, but yeah. So definetly no. Final verdict.
Yes, men and women can be friends. I have had male friends since my early teens, I could not survive without them. But there is a very clear line - if you’re interested sexually in each other, or have been at some point: no go. The men I partner with and those i befriend belong to a different tribe for sure.
Yes they can be, and SO WHAT IF SOMEONE WANTS MORE. I would have sex with about 10 of my friends right now if I was in a different life, but what am I going to do, heap pain on top of pain in other people’s lives?!
Yes, but the women will be turning the men down repeatedly and if the woman EVER opens the door to what might be, it’s on. It’s just nature.
Always had friends of both sexes and only the occasional problem with bounds overstepped, probably the Scorp Rising.
Elsa, that man is a fool and this sounds like your Neptune thing at work. What a pain in the butt! Makes you wonder who he was having a relationship with as in which illusion he was busy projecting on your shiny Neptune/MC?!
Tough question. I enjoy having male friends but I have to say the flirting is always there and that’s what makes the friendships feel different and sometimes more satisfying than with women.
Oh my God, I’m terrible!
if it’s really a friendship it doesn’t matter if someone would like more or not. the friendship itself should be valuable. i figure if someone can’t draw that line i obviously don’t need them for friends.
i don’t see where the grey comes in. going to someone’s house doesn’t mean you intend to sleep with them… it means you want to spend time with them at their house. two totally different things.
Question: it’s not clear to me from the posting that he made a *forcible* move on you. If he just tried to be romantic then I guess you can’t blame the guy for trying. People harbor secret feelings. But if you rebuffed him, then I hope he stayed rebuffed. If it happened differently, ok. But I don’t like to see the word “rape” thrown around.
Men and women can be friends. I have a lot of male friends. But…I have Venus in Aquarius and Sun in 11th house, so for me, friendship is what it’s all about. Gender doesn’t really come into it.
I believe so, though I myself have far more female friends than male and always have, so my personal knowledge is limited….
Sorry you had that experience. I guess I agree that Pluto’s transit in some house v. other houses would affect my answer for this. Each person is different but overall I’d say there’s an overtone of attraction in most platonic male-female relationships, and usually it’s only one member of the pair who has the feelings.
I have way more male friends than female friends, in fact I looked at my going away party picture from last year a few days ago and counted them up and it narrowly missed being a 3:1 ratio.
In fact, if you put the lesbian’s on the boy side, it is a 3:1 ratio.
People’s projections/expectations are their own, and you can’t be responsible for them. This guy can only be visited by women he fucks? Every woman who visits needs to be open to this? Did he make that clear before you visited? Heck no! Or you wouldn’t visit! I bet most women wouldn’t.
I’m all off topic now but people get along with the people they get along with.
Yes, heterosexual men and women can be friends. And they can even be affectionate friends without sex always being an issue (or even being brought up). Some people may find this hard to believe, but sexual feelings are not the only urges that bring people together. I refuse to believe that I cannot befriend a person because he happens to have a penis. That’s not to say things don’t ever get a little complicated (particularly if you do have unattached friends while you yourself are unattached, and there’s an underlying attraction somewhere) but it doesn’t mean that the friendship is worthless or nonexistant. It means that it’s a friendship that requires clear boundaries. But yes, it’s possible.