The soldier is up to something. He’s been asked to do something that can’t be done which is his forte. I have watched him for awhile now and I’m catching on to his process. He has more than one plan for example. He makes several contingency plans and he works things out way ahead.

He called today to run his elaborate plan by me and I didn’t like it. I thought it was too risky with not enough reward so I made a pointed comment. He called me back ten minutes later.

“Okay, I’m going to scrap that last thing, P. I decided I can just be stupid instead. You know. I’m a dumbass. Anyone asks me something, I’ll give ‘em my hayseed routine.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, it’ll work. I got these tattoos so I’ve got to be stupid.”

“Well you have that accent too. You sound like an idiot.”

“Yep, I’m a southern boy so I don’t no nuttin’. Those northern boys think we’s all stupid anyways so it shouldn’t be too hard to pull off. I’ll just tell ‘em I din’t no no better. I ain’t from New Yoke or anything. I ain’t from a city so I don’t know nuttin’. I’s just some idyit from down ‘round, Tennessee so I didn’t know all this. You mean it goes like that? Ohhhhhhhhhh. I thought it went like this. Thanks for letting me know about that, jeez.”

I laughed.

“And then I’ll scratch my head or sumthin’ and they’ll never figure it out.”