The soldier the other weekend:

“Yeah, my whole world has gone to hell. Men are feminized now, P. They’re like girls or something.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, I see these men on the runway, swishin’ around and I think what the hell is that? Why don’t they put someone like me on the runway? I’ll do it. I’ll go out there on the runway as a man… a regular plain man.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And I don’t want any of that techno music playing either. Hell no. They can play bad to the bone or somethin’ like that.”

“Okay,” I said snorting.

“Yeah, I’ll just walk out there in some dungarees or something. Just some regular pants, a plain shirt and I’ll do my regular walk. You know how I walk. Like a bulldog. That’s how I walk, so that’s how I’ll walk.” (following has swearing)

“Okay.”

“And when I get to the end of the runway, I’ll just turn around like a normal motherfucker and walk back.”

“Turn like a normal motherfucker?”

“Yeah! Just turn around and walk back. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a normal average man and I’d be willing to haul my ass out there on a runway and show people what I mean. There! A normal man in normal pants, walking normally with some normal man’s music playing…”

But by then I was lying on my back, laughing with tears starting up…