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Oct
3

Scorpio Woman Struggles To Make Friends After A Childhood Spent Moving Around: Astrology-Based Advice

Hi Elsa,

I’m having trouble making friends. My family moved around a lot when I was growing up, so I got used to leaving the friends I had and I think this made me stop trying. Now I feel the strong need for friends, but I just don’t know how to go about making them.

I often feel awkward around people. I even have trouble enjoying their company, just because of the awkwardness. I also feel I have little to say and I can’t joke around the way other people do.

I know the best way to learn is by just doing, but for some reason its just not happening for me and trust me, I so try! I’ve started a new program at school, and I’ve made a real effort to go against my usual impulse to not speak much, but when I talk to the people in my class, it just doesn’t come out naturally. So, is there anything different I should try?

Thanks a lot,
Scorpio Girl
Nigeria

scorpio Dear Girl,

I feel for you and while I have no magic solution for you, I have some angles that may help.

First, take a look at how you got this way. You created this defense to protect yourself. I imagine leaving your friends was inordinately painful for you so it made logical sense to not get close to people since you knew you would only be setting yourself up to be devastated. So look at that and look at the difference between now and then.

Then you were a kid, but now you are 24 and you have a lot more to say about how you live your life. You need not leave or lose your friends ever again. Even if someone moves, you can keep in touch. I have maintained friendships at a distance for decades and they are a rich and strong as they ever were. The point here is that you get very clear with the idea it is safe to invest in friendship. Because by the tone of your post, you’re lacking this understanding.

The next point I’d make is that you only need one friend. Forget about making “friends”. You have a stellium in Scorpio and you are never going to want a million friends. What you want is an “inner circle” and you create one of those one soul at a time.

For example there was a point in my life where I was down to one friend (Ben) for a period of years. For about 3 years, Ben was all I had and vice versa and we sustained each other. Eventually things shifted, planets progressed and both our lives opened up to include more people but you get my point. I would be out there looking for 1 friend, which I bet you can find. So don’t talk to everyone. Scope around and talk to the one person you really want to know.

Forget about being a social butterfly, that’s not who you are. Instead, narrow your focus and look for one person you can relate to and I think you’ll find your friend and eventually another… and you’ll pull out of this early trauma just fine.

Good luck

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Advice, Astrology, Friendship, Astrology, | Posted at 3:28 am

3 Responses to “Scorpio Woman Struggles To Make Friends After A Childhood Spent Moving Around: Astrology-Based Advice”

joana

Excelent advice!
Good luck, Scorpio Girl. I see your point but this is the time when we get better acquainted with ourselves and understand what is really natural in us and what isn’t.

10/3/07 @ 8:15 am (reply)

Maheggo

As a child (born 10-31-1970) I never lived in one place more than 4 years and as a product of the 70’s it was hard to try and write to people to keep in touch, letter going missing, hurt feelings, and any other variance in the distance between friends, I too had a hard time making friends. I still do. The one thing I have found is. I found what I like. I get good at it (sculpting, working with wood, music etc…) and I find that people will come and talk to me. The way I use my energies attracts people to me and they want to me MY friends. Then I can pick a few close friends and have the rest as aquaintances…..this is just me. I found out what I liked and I live what I like. I still do.

10/3/07 @ 10:57 am (reply)

lexa

Hello,
I am currently in the same predicament as yourself. I can make friends, but have a really hard time maintaining them. After life circumstances have taken friends out of physical range, I keep in touch through e-mails or letters but after a few months there seems to be less and less to talk about.

But on the positive side, I have had a really good friend for almost five years. We had a falling out because she found out I was bi. But I know that I am capable of sustaining friendships over the long term. I wish you the best of luck in making and maintaining your relationships with other people.

1/27/08 @ 8:50 pm (reply)

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