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On Being Seen As A Real Human With Neptune Involved
Astrology in Real Life
I was talking to the soldier a few days ago…
“So they like me on your blog now but they didn’t like me before?” he asked.
“No, I don’t think they did. I don’t think they liked you at all.”
“Why?”
Oh… Special Forces soldier, I guess. You know. They think you’re a killer.
He didn’t say anything and in the quiet I realized what I’d just said was wrong. That information had come through him.
“Actually maybe they didn’t think that,” I said. “I guess I have no idea what they thought but I don’t think they liked you. They were confused, I’d say. And I definitely don’t think they wanted to imagine me involved with you.”
“Why not?”
“Special Forces! The old time readers knew of you. I have been writing about you for a long time. I wrote about you even before we got in contact in 2003. I wrote about you in 2001 but you were an ex. You were in my history, so let’s keep it that way,” I said with a chuckle. “They don’t want to see me with some soldier. Forget about it. Not my style. People were used to the AMF and the two of you couldn’t be more different. So there is that and then the SF… well people have a strong reaction to Special Forces. It’s provocative to say the least; they would rather not get too close to you.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah so I don’t think anyone would have pictured us together. They have a knee jerk reaction to SF provided they even know what it is. You’re steeped in it so you probably think everyone knows what it is but they don’t. I’m sure they do by now though. People who read my blog, I mean. They’ve researched or they’ve googled by now.”
“Yeah.”
“And what they find when they do that or what conclusions they draw, I have no idea. Only a very few people have directly communicated their opinion of your career to me.”
“Uh huh.”
“But whatever it is they think or have thought, I have just kept writing and in the process you became humanized. Oh, I see. This is a person. This is a human being and an especially interesting one at that. People are thinking, I’d say. And they’re thinking new things not only about Special Forces but about soldiering in general. Oh! There are individual human beings in those uniforms. These are people with skills who also have lives, feelings, dreams and you name it. They’re people for Godsakes.”
“Good, P. That’s good. And thanks.”
“You’re welcome. And it occurs to me these videos may do the same thing for me. They may humanize me and if they do it will help. Because as long as I have been writing people still treat me very strangely a lot of the time. They just don’t seem to get that I am a human being sitting here doing this everyday. You know, the Internet. No one is real so you can just do whatever to them. No need to treat them like a human being. I am just a machine who writes for them every day. But when I look at the videos, it’s impossible to deny I am real. People may like me or they may not but I am definitely a human being. I am sitting there, talking and being alive. I have some kind of energy… the energy of a live human and if I become recognized as this I imagine it will change my life.”
“I see.”
“Yeah, so that’s what I think. You and I are human beings. We’re good human beings actually. And one of us is finally being recognized as this and the other of us has a hope in hell so I don’t know. I guess I’d say this is a pretty good day.”
17 Responses to “On Being Seen As A Real Human With Neptune Involved”
Hmmmm, what you are saying makes me realize my whole world view is just a little different then most. Because you were always a real human individual to me, as was the soldier. In fact, that’s the way i respond to all I interact with no matter in what venue we meet . . . NNode in Gemini?! 
I’ve been around a long time and for me, it wasn’t that I didn’t like the soldier in 2003, but you are right, I was used to the AMF and had grown fond of him. He seemed to make you so happy and I wasn’t quite sure where the soldier was going with being back in the picture…I guess I felt a bit protective, what exactly were his intentions regarding you. But it seems to me the Soldier is a bit of an oasis for you in your crazy world, so carry on!
And I love the videos….you were already a person in my book, but having a voice is a great asset.
Heather, it’s a different time line. I wrote about the soldier 2001-2, never naming him. But I did write the story. If you were around back then, it was the story where I found myself inexplicably 50+ pounds overweight and was weighing myself on a meat scale in a restaurant.
The soldier and I got in contact in 2003. I found him and I wrote about them as well, calling him “Top Secret” at the time.
We broke contact Jan 2004 due crisis and some months later I met the AMF so their paths never crossed… until end of last year, where the story the Soldier and P starts.
But what I am referring to in this is not 2003, but when I started writing about him on this blog around January 2007.
Bottom line, I just think SF = astrology. People have some idea of what these things are and what the people who involved in them are like but it is generally based on absolutely nothing.
“Anyone who believes in astrology is… blah, blah, blah.” And they don’t even have their own opinion, they are just regurgitating what they’ve from some other source that they think will make them sound smart or learned in some way. People who know anything know that people… all people in all professions are individuals.
So anyway, SF is not PC especially now. It comes in the room like bad smell and it showed up on my blog, same way however things have changed, they always do.
maybe i’ve just been around too long…
when you re-hooked in ‘03, it was ‘obvious’ that you and the AMF weren’t going anywhere - it was hard, but you loved the hell out of each other, and you were going to get through it. the Soldier obviously loved you, but was also obviously getting an enormous kick out of telling you all the old stories. and it seemed to me that’s what you were in it for - the wealth of information about the past, and the ways the astrology all kept falling into place. and obviously you loved him right back. that was it. there were things you knew at that time that were incontrovertible, and which made any ‘intentions’ the Soldier might have had irrelevant.
and i never even thought about his intentions. he just wants to talk to Elsa P! if he had intentions, he’d tell you! “Elsa P,” he’d say, “I’m going to come and steal you from your man, and don’t you think i can’t!” and you’d blog about it! i mean, the nerve of this guy telling me what to do! (you’d say). “He said he was coming to steal me from my man, and i just roared!”
but he’s not stupid. he’d never do that (unless you him you wanted him to). so i don’t know if i’ve just been around forever, or if i “get it,” or what. but then, i’ve never noticed negative comments about him really, either - maybe just one, something about being controlling? see? i can’t even remember it. maybe i just tuned all the negative out…
silverfoot - I don’t understand your comment. I didn’t even know the AMF in 2003. I have read your comment 4 times and still have no idea whose life you are talking about.
When the soldier said he was going to come “steal me”, the AMF was already gone. He was talking about my coffee date and various other men around me at the time and part of the reason was to make me feel desirable.
Maybe I’m oblivious, but I never noticed anyone having a hate-on for The Soldier.
Yes. I agree with SaDiablo. He feels like a chocolate volcano of energy (sweet, delicious, powerful and explosive–a “hellsyeah!!” kind of guy), but I don’t hate him. I don’t have some sort of vendetta against him for loving you too.
If I was coming from a blogwriter perspective, I think it was more like… it seemed so sudden, without anything to fill in the gaps. Like, one partner is gone and another partner simply bumped him off. We didn’t know why. And we didn’t know the timeline of events that occurred. So, I suppose people may have reacted because they’re protective of you, Elsa. But, reading your comments I think that what many people thought probably wasn’t the case. I don’t know you guys personally. Most of us probably don’t know you guys personally. So, we have nothing really to base the story on, except your own word. Whatever other details are missing… readers unfortunately may want to fill in the blanks with assumptions/theories. (I admit, I did a bit of this too. Though I tried hard not to make assumptions and to take it as it was. And learn and accept the new happenings.)
I… actually wasn’t sure that you guys were together until maybe a post 2 months ago(?), when you visited him. I thought him as a “long lost friend/passionate ex-lover–until further notice” because I didn’t want to make assumptions. Funny! I know! …I apologize! It may feel shocking and completely uncomfortable to see one’s image like this! I used to write on a blog too and people would make assumptions like this… my own friends!! [laughs]
But, seriously, it’s your life and your blog. And it looks like the soldier and you are whirlwinded-ly connected to each other. So, as long as you feel it’s natural and you tell blogreaders it feels like the right thing to be with him, then, it should be fine. Kudos to you being semi-open to teach the public about astropatterns you’ve discovered in your own life. It has really helped me reframe the way I’ve seen events in my life, even simply as a reader. Keep that in mind. Purpose.
I hadn’t found you blog yet, back then, but I’d never make a snap judgement about a soldier. I had a Seal in my family until last year and he was just about my most favorite person ever. Still is, actually. So, I have a soft spot for the special forces.
I’ve always liked the soldier, but I’ve been reading since you started writing about him over on the other blog years and years ago. To me, he always seemed to good to be true, too perfect almost, though I know that’s not true at all, and I think you’ve humanized him a bit (to me at least), especially with the more recent stories. My b/f is ex-military and I asked him about special forces, in his own words they’re ‘bad ass’. I think that about sums it up!
Oh boy, have I been out of the loop or what? I didn’t even realize the AMF was out of the picture! And as for The Soldier, if he makes you happy, go for it…and I don’t hate him, and you can tell him I said so if you choose. By the way….you and I simply have to chat one of these days, if you’re comfortable with that…you and I are so much alike it’s unreal!
Elsa - sorry, i’m out to lunch. got my dates all mucked up. i don’t think i even started reading you until ‘04!
as for the soldier stealing you, i was using that as an example of possible ‘bad intentions’ that people might not have liked from him. i had forgotten about the time he actually did threaten to steal you from your coffee date.
so ignore the dates, and it might make more sense?
circle.dot.raindrops, you make me feel so much better! I wanted to say a lot of what you did, but thought I might have been reading this post wrong. And I didn’t make the connection that E and SF were dating until the road trip, either, for the same reasons.
—–
On second read-through, though, I was really taken by the “people think he’s a killer” statement. Say whaaaat?
To me, The Soldier comes across as emminently practical. Even though he has most likely killed (I don’t know), it was just a thing - the thing he had to do. Maybe I’m naive, but I don’t get the sense that he kills because he enjoys it, but because it was necessary for whatever reason.
Then again, I could be projecting. Even though I don’t have his training, I don’t think I’d have a problem taking a life if the situation demanded it. It’s that whole “If it’s me or them, it’s gonna be ME!” thing. 
I’ve been around for a year, I don’t remember people not liking the soldier either.
I remember I once commented about him “he sure talks alot” because that’s what surprised me about a man that is in special forces, I had the preconceived idea he might be all secretive and misterious, a pluto person.
I like him alot. Especially his moon-neptune in scorpio.
I was thinking just the other day how human the soldier has become to me. I’m pretty anti military (esp US) and anti war so when you first started talking about him i didnt really read it, just read the advice blogs mainly. Then everynow and then a story would suck me in and slowly i realised the human. Now i always read them. I’ve been seeing my partner for about the same amount of time and we have a similar combative r’ship (opps galore and a grand sq. in composite) but i’ve never loved someone so much and it’s helped to realise that astrologically, synastry isnt always about harmonious links, that the hard aspects though difficult at times cant overide love 2 people share. Infact when the battle is over, often something deeper remains that seems to make us stronger, more together. And it seems to be the same for you two.
z - thanks for posting that comment. I know there are a lot of people who went through a similar transformation and I appreciate you stepping forward.
isn’t strange to me. there’s lots of soldiers in my family and i love them. one of our roommates (a good friend) drove a tank in kuwait. they’re human beings. it’s takes a certain sort of strength to do that kind of work. and sure, it can warp you, but it doesn’t have to. it depends on the person.
and, yes, i can’t stand this war. from the get-go. but the soldiers aren’t the ones deciding where they’re going to get stationed or what their mission will be. they’re just the ones who get ground up at the end of the line.
but i wasn’t reading then. but why would you want to spend lots of time with someone exactly like you? and he seems to make you happy and how can anybody argue with that?
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I have always liked what you have said about SFG. Never a question…if you like him he must be a great person.