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Astrology and Love and Loneliness: Just Wondering Who Is More Prone: Venus Saturn? Venus Uranus? Venus Jupiter?
Astrology in Real Life…
I thought this was interesting and perhaps in line with the current blogs on Venus Saturn:
In a new study published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, researchers studied some of the ways loneliness is bad for your health. From the press release:
“…However, when the psychologists looked at the lives of the middle-aged and old people in their study, they found that although the lonely ones reported the same number of stressful life events, they identified more sources of chronic stress and recalled more childhood adversity. Moreover, they differed in how they perceived their life experiences. Even when faced with similar challenges, the lonelier people appeared more helpless and threatened. And ironically, they were less apt to actively seek help when they are stressed out.
Hawkley and Cacioppo then took urine samples from both the lonely and the more contented volunteers, and found that the lonely ones had more of the hormone epinephrine flowing in their bodies. Epinephrine is one of the body’s “fight or flight” chemicals, and high levels indicate that lonely people go through life in a heightened state of arousal. As with blood pressure, this physiological toll likely becomes more apparent with aging. Since the body’s stress hormones are intricately involved in fighting inflammation and infection, it appears that loneliness contributes to the wear and tear of aging through this pathway as well…”
It seems to me if lonely people have a heightened “fight or flight” response, then we’re talking about commitment-phobics (of which I am one) and the like. And I wonder if Venus Saturn aspects in a chart might indicate a lack of ‘fight or flight” when it comes to relationship.
And I surely don’t know but it falls in line with something I was realized awhile back when pondering the fact I tend to keep friends long term. I wrote about how the relationships stayed in tact simply because both parties stayed. For whatever reason both parties decided to stay in the relationship and work it out rather than bolt when things got dicey and consequently the relationships persisted.
And this idea also supports the theory that Venus Saturn types wind up looking pretty good in the end, where as people who have the chance, the ability and propensity to churn through a lot of relationships… i.e. “I am threatened, (for whatever reason) so I am out of here,” wind up lonely in the end.
What do you think?
pictured - Magdalen of Night Light, Georges de La Tour,1630-35, Oil on canvas, Mus©e du Louvre, Paris
18 Responses to “Astrology and Love and Loneliness: Just Wondering Who Is More Prone: Venus Saturn? Venus Uranus? Venus Jupiter?”
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Hmmm. I’ve been thinking of my lack of commitment. I have jupiter trining saturn and yet saturn squaring uranus. So when I do commit I’m happy but then eventually rebel.
If my rebel side can be fed though - given it’s day in the sun - then I can probably resume the commitment. But I suppose this doesn’t look like commitment. And yet it’s as much commitment as I can do with my temperment and chart.
Took awhile but I finally resolved the conundrum of having Venus in Sagittarius trine Saturn and Uranus in my 7th House. It is like I have to give myself permission to be independent if only in the way I perceive myself. With Moon sextile Saturn, I’m emotionally very stable too.
And, yes, I was commitment phobic for years . . . choose the worst possible potential partners, sabotaging relationships right & left!! =grin=
My Venus is in Aries…How about I want to be committed but I have standards which must be met by my partner in order for me to stay? However, I’m more than willing to fight to keep the relationship until, in most cases, it looks like I’m shadowboxing and they’ve already left the room. Then I’ll go.
I dunno Elsa… I’m a super Venus Saturn person (conjunct, plus Cappy moon squaring Saturn), and I’m also a lifelong suffered of social anxiety (the fight or flight response). I’ve always chalked the anxiety up to Saturn, to that sense of social restriction I have. My longterm relationships are stable, but few, and I always have a hard time opening myself up to new people. Consequently, I do feel lonely a lot of the time.
Stephanie - I don’t know either. Your experience is surely valid and I have Libra so could argue either way. But considering how many people suffer from loneliness (especially the aged), I started to think along these lines and after a few days sitting on this, still thought it had merit so I threw it up.
I am in no way sure that thinking is correct or valid around the astrology but I do know that people who won’t or can’t stay in relationship end up alone. Not just partnerships but relationship in general.
And I think I might have been one of them - I was headed in this direction when I was younger and just sort of like the topic, I guess! Thanks for posting.
Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Lack of connection with one’s self, their past, their motivations, being untrue to one’s self = lonely. Enduring situations one shouldn’t endure can make loneliness.
As far as Saturn-Venus looking good in the end .. let me check with the wife of the Scorpio with these two conjunct who got me entangled with him over the last year .. see what she thinks. lol.
Yes he’d always bring up he was ‘lonely’. And it was inferred it was the wife’s fault - all relating was apparently a woman’s duty / responsibility. He had no backbone or balls to deal with the situation, felt like a helpless, hapless victim, and was then ironically going to try to play me like I was a moron - use me like toilet paper to wipe his ass.
Venus-Saturn - karmic repercussions for relationships or connected to relating decisions?
One can hope so…..
I have Venus square Uranus and I share that experience of being someone who isn’t good at sticking it out in relationships and ending up with few lasting connections. However, my recent Saturn return in Leo has helped me gain more interest and ability in being responsible in romantic relationship, at least…
I should add, though, that I have Pluto in the 11th house and my experience with friends is textbook-accurate — specifically, good close friends suddenly disappearing, never to be heard from again, and seemingly through no falling-out experience. Seems like a reinforcement of the Venus/Uranus square, perhaps…
I have Venus/Uranus/Pluto conjunct. I’ve had a LOT of people pass in and out of my life; my friends and social situations seem to change each year. Nothing ever stays the same. It’s easy for me to lose touch with people or have them disappear (Pluto).
I don’t feel lonely because I LIKE being alone–and all the change doesn’t bother me. I have an admittedly small group of family and friends, and I prefer it that way. I don’t need to have a lot of acquaintances. To me, party-party-partying with people you hardly know might be fun, but it’s also lonely…
i agree Daeshii, got to have standards in relationships. Stephanie - i’m super venus-saturn too (opposed, w/ cappy moon square saturn) and i feel the way you do a lot of the time. I like to have lots of friendships long term, i’m rarely the one to end any of them, but even then i still feel lonely sometimes. it’s wierd when you surround yourself with people, pets, stuff, work and still get lonely. haha…i guess in the end you have to be your own friend first
elsa - I love the artwork for this post! It’s going on my wall, so beautiful!
I have venus in capricon trine saturn in the 7th. I don’t think it gets much more venus-saturn then that! BUT, i’m a uranian person, and my relationships last 2 months on average.
Now saturn is transiting my 7th house and I finally waking up to the possibility of staying in a relationship and working through it. Let’s see how it goes.
“Standards” in relationships — that’s a constructive way to understand it. Also true, since I’m very picky with whom I let get close to me.
And yes, lonely but rarely alone. As if most people don’t get me. My husband and my mom both think I’m a misanthrope. Kinda true.
I’ve got Venus inconjunct Saturn, but conjunct Uranus and Pluto. I’ve never had a partnership that lasted longer than about a year and a half, but I’m finally learning how to hang on to friends for longer than a couple of years. And yes, often alone but rarely lonely; I like my own company.
I agree w/Chris in that lonliness is largely a state of mind. As one can be feel very lonely with someone else or feel very connected when physically alone. Also, it appears that the study only shows that lonely feelings and stress are somehow related, not that lonliness causes stress. (Although even w/o the scientific backing, it seems like a reasonable theory to me.)
But to answer the original question, I don’t see that those who go through a lot of relationships *necessarily* end up lonely. Some people just have abundant charts in the relationships department. They’re so full of love to give.
One friend of mine has Jupiter ruling his 5th conj Mars in a loose grande trine involving Venus and Neptune. Women seem to just fall out of the sky for him. Interestingly, he also has one very close (lifelong) platonic female friend and all the men I’ve talked to who know him speak highly of him. Another example I can think of, Venus square Neptune and moon - women just love him, so much so that most of his male friends can’t help but to be a little jealous. I can’t imagine him ever wanting for female companionship and he also has close childhood friends. Anyways, I could go on and on but I think longevity in relationships is not necessarily a Venus-Saturn thing.
Yup, you do have to be your own friend first. I was a very lonely person with a lot of people who loved me in my life before I discovered that.
I have Venus/Saturn/Neptune as a grand fire trine in my chart, and I do have the opportunity to ‘churn through’ a lot of relationships. I can’t help but meet a lot of people, must be the work I do and the fact that I have a lot of activities.
If I don’t get enough time alone I can get downright owly.
Elsa, my Libra Dad has told me that the first ten years of his marriage all he wanted to do was take off. According to him, most failed marriages nowadays are because people simply aren’t willing to put up with such emotional turmoil, and most people would have left by then.
i have venus (in capricorn) square saturn in my natal chart and believe me, i understand the flight-or-fight syndrome. i tend to kick people to the curb very quickly. any advice on how to deal would be greatly appreciated!
i do both.
it’s good to know what’s worth sticking around for.
that can take awhile to figure out.
I understand 100% of this entire loneliness thing. I was born with Venus[in the 5th] Square Saturn[in the 8th] I felt very lonely as a child, and didn’t socialize very mch. Tere were moments when I felt like a complete otsider. Like no one really understood me. I tend to attract men who are never around! My ex- husband was in the military, and was deployed alot. My last relationship[the father of my new baby] is a truck driver who is always on the road!