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Aquarius Man Dumps Aries Woman Due Her Sexual History: Massive Pluto Transit
Dear Elsa,
I recently met an older Aquarian man who is divorced like me. We had an instant connection because we had nearly identical backgrounds, views on morality, family - and we both wanted to find our soul mate. He was completely head over heels for me until he began asking specific questions about my sexual past.
Not wanting to lie, I answered honestly but without graphic details. He dumped me the next day, saying that he didn’t think I would ever be happy with a “normal” man like him because I am “too experienced”. I tried to explain that my past is my past, and all I want is a loving, monogamous, “normal” relationship with him, but he has turned off like a light bulb.
Is there any way to get him to see the true me instead of jumping to his own (unfounded) conclusions?
Has A History
United States
Dear History,
OUCH. Are you sure you want to sell yourself to this guy? I don’t think you should.
This was his chance to learn not to ask questions when he can’t handle the potential answers to them and he failed. It was also his chance to transcend his narrow mind and his tendency to judge and he failed that too. He failed his chance to expand himself, and to go deeper into his feeling so tell me again why he is so wonderful.
Look. Don’t let the Sun in Aries fool you. You are a Plutonian through and through, and the last thing you need is someone who can’t stand the heat in your kitchen. On top of that, you are heading into a massive Pluto transit and your main gig now is to NOT let people like this make you feel as if you are degraded in some way - which is exactly what this guy is up to.
Get him back and I guarantee you he will find something else about he deems repulsive but it’s all projection, see? You are the light on here, he is the shadow. He asked a question, you answered it honesty - you rock, he sucks, end of story.
Good luck.
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10 Responses to “Aquarius Man Dumps Aries Woman Due Her Sexual History: Massive Pluto Transit”
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Agreed. Often when someone pries their way in, they want to trash the place.
Yeah, he could have looked at your answers and thought it would be an opportunity for him to learn more sexually. But instead, he got all insecure. His instinct was to shut you down instead of expanding himself.
If you point this out to him, maybe he will see things differently. But maybe not.
Dear History,
Elsa is right.
Also this man is an idiot. Consider this unpleasant episode your lucky escape.
Best wishes for the next one
Listen to Elsa! And Phel, too (heh). I had a relationship scenario very similar to this except the ‘power-play’ had him say “I don’t know how you can respect yourself.”
It took me years to undo the damage done by those words–that was the middle of Pluto transiting my 12th House–but I hope this offers yet another reason for you to refuse any attempts of others ‘making you feel degraded’ as Elsa says. You are ENTITLED to own your sexuality and your life. There are plenty of potential partners who admire and respect this. He’s wasting your time.
I’m sorry your feelings were hurt. I know how painful it can be to be judged by your sexuality.
ditto, ditto, ditto . . . I’m afraid my experience with older, controlling men dovetails everyone else’s comments. Run . . . very fast!! And find some guy who doesn’t have issues with you being your authentic self!
Amen! Elsa is spot on here…be glad the guy showed his ass before you had to discover it on your own…
Exactly!! And really, who needs a man whose confidence is so easily shattered? Find yourself a guy with a backbone and some confidence in his own skills!
ouch is right. what? you were supposed to spend your life sitting chastely next to you window, wishing upon stars for him to walk into your life so you could be pure enough for him? yuck.
it’s his sense of inadequacey he’s projecting on you. if he declares something wrong with you, then he doesn’t have to live with his fears that he can’t live up to your past lovers.
thing is, you don’t want a man to just tolerate your past, which is part of who you are. you want someone to accept and love you, as you are, and grow with you in the future.
look at it from the other side. would you say, “well, i’m head over heels for this guy, but he’s screwed too many women in his life, so he’s not good enough for me?” don’t kid yourself for a minute that he’s worried about your feelings being with him. darlin’, you just got called a whore, more or less, and you’re sitting here asking yourself how you can change his definition of the word.
i hope you find someone who’s worthy of your attention. i suspect this guy isn’t, but of course that’s your call.
good luck to you!
Elsa’s right, of course. The right man will know that everything you’ve done up to this point has made you who you are today.
i’ve gotten that. and my history isn’t really that colorful. i think.
anyway. yes, by all means, serve this as a lesson in remembering that the relationship is what matters, not history. men who get worked up over your older stories are going to want to control who you are. in my experience. as if the past is something you can go out and change just because you love them! or whatever.