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Virgo Boy Complains Aries Girl Is Not Always Sweet And Tender
Dear Elsa,
I am an Aries girl, with my moon in Leo. I have been with a Virgo boy for one and half months. We are so in love with each other and when we spend time together, everything is brilliant. The problem is when we are not together. He complains I am not tender when we speak at phone and that sometimes I seem to be ignoring him. I really like him but when I am outside or doing a job, I cannot be so sweet with him.
He told me that he feels that I am 2 people in 1. I don’t know why I act like that; I want to change that because I don’t want to lose him. I feel many things for him, but sometimes I am unable to show them. Please tell me some advice how to tone down my stubbornness and pride and how to be more sweet to him.
23 Year Old Girlfriend
Greece
Dear Girlfriend,
Well, I like you the way you are. You sound plenty sweet to me and caring as well, so I think your boy is lucky to have you. But never mind that. If you think you have a problem with your personality, I will try to help.
You are about 75% yang. Your energy is overt and super fiery but you also have a mothering side. And it sounds like your Virgo boy relates to your yin qualities. He is at ease with your planets in Scorpio in the 4th house, but struggles with the fact you’re a born alpha dog. So what to do?
Well if you’re motivated - and it sounds like you are - you can become aware of this and try to switch gears in the circumstances where he finds you abrasive. Apparently when you are home (4th house), your yin side dominates. So armed with this, you can opt to instantly soften your voice when he contacts you in another scenario. I think this will be challenging but if you feel it is worth it, it’s certainly possible.
What is not possible is that you lose your Yang energy for this guy or any other, because you are who you are and there is nothing wrong with you. So if he insists you conform and resists the idea of embracing these other qualities of yours, I would seriously look for a new boy who can stand the heat… and better yet, enjoy it.
Good luck.
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As a fellow Aries, I lean toward telling him to suck it up and deal.
Elsa’s way is far more tactful though!
As an all fire/air gal, I find the same issue comes up….but it’s not a bad thing. I tend to date guys that are pretty ‘yin’ and so I work on being more self aware and take it as an opportunity to grow with them and learn about myself….being leo it works. And I am friends with most of my exes…I think that says a lot.
Best of luck!
I’m also an Aries, and I’m with seekingzen: he needs to suck it up. Being a Virgo, he probably will. Virgos are critical by nature and will find something to nitpick at no matter what. My husband has a Virgo moon and it’s a constant sea of complaints about his work, his health, various small behaviors. Keep in mind that all this complaining on his part might be just a bunch of noise without much of substance behind it.
I’m also a fire/air chick, and I feel it’s unrealistic of him to expect you to be all sweetness-and-light to him when you’re working or outside. Hello, You’re WORKING! You’re supposed to be professional, not playing love-smitten just to satisfy your man! And as far as being outside goes, not everyone is into PDAs and he just needs to get used to that.