My daughter and I, talking in the car as we drove across Nebraska after spending the weekend with the soldier…

“Sometimes I wish I had your life,” she said. ‘To write about because my life is not as interesting as yours.”

“What?” I laughed. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me. Look at the characters in your life. You’ve got one… he stands there holding a cigarette in his hand, blowing smoke out his mouth and says he’s not smoking.” I snorted. “You don’t think you can write about that? And how many times have you nearly died? You’ve spent years almost dying don’t you realize?”

“I do realize,” she said.

“Okay, well that’s not normal. That’s not the average experience of a 12 year old believe it or not. And all the people around you have reacted. Like your brother for example. He’s another one of your characters of course. You have a ninja little brother which is the best thing I have ever done for you by the way. I made you a great brother that is.”

“I do love him,” she said.

“Yeah, well you have no idea. I think he’s going to be your best bud until the end of time. You guys think you fight but you don’t fight at all compared to your average sibs. So you’re over here dyin’ and your mother is doing this. Your brother is doing this other and you will figure out some day none of this is normal. And no you don’t want my life. You don’t want my life because you’re not me. I feed people, babe. I feed people and I always have. I cooked all the meals for my entire family from the time I was 8 years old. Do you want to do that? Does that sound like you? Because it is me.”

“Not really.”

“Didn’t think so. You’re social! You meet people. What do you do on Saturdays?”

“Garage sale?”

“Hardly. Well you do garage sale but look how you do it. You take off on you bike and go to all these sales wearing a dress no less!” I laughed. ‘Yeah. You ride around on your bicycle in your skirt, buying other people’s junk. I don’t want anything to do with it. This is pure you. It’s just something you do. You’ve chosen it,” I said.

“Yeah, and I carry dog treats in my backpack wherever I go,” she said. “In case I meet any dogs and I always do meet some too.”

“Right. And everyone knows you don’t they? In like a 3 or a 5 mile radius, they all know you.”

“They call me the Dog Girl,” she said.

‘Dog Girl, huh?”

I thought about how they called me the “Frito Girl” when I was on my “route”. And how I rode a motorcycle in a dress. I think my daughter is more earth-friendly than I am. She’s more “hippie”.

“And do you see how social this is?” I asked. “You’re not some earthy… an earth mother like me. You’re social! You’re a social whirl, walkin’. You meet everyone all the time, right in the middle of almost dying. Do you understand? Are you getting this?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. And just look at who you meet. Look who you just met,” I said.

“The soldier?”

“Yeah, but he’s not just any soldier is he?”

“No.”

“Right. So you were there. You were in the room and you saw the energy. And you can read energy. I know you recorded what you saw,” I said.

“Yeah.”

“And someday you will probably write about it. But some of this stuff you’ll have to wait until we’re dead, okay? I mean you can write what you want but if you write some of this stuff while we’re still alive you could cause us extreme trouble. So that’s the power you have with what you’ve seen and heard and know about.”

“Uh huh.” She was grinning. Pluto rising in Scorpio you know.

“Yeah, it’s true. You know stuff nobody knows that you are not supposed to know. You have privileged information so don’t you think that means something?”

“I do think it means something.”

“Well so do I. So this is an example of how your life is going. You just met this man who is completely distinguished. He has completely distinguished himself from all others which almost no one manages to do in this world and you just spent the weekend with him.”

“And he kissed me on the top of my head,” she said.

“He did,” I said with a little snort.

I thought of Peace Pilgrim who walked 25,000 miles for peace. She had distinguished herself from all others and she handed me back one of the bananas I gave her when I was 10. I was feeding her and I vividly recall this exchange of energy.

“Yeah, he did that because you asked him to. He did exactly as you asked and he was amused, believe me. He enjoyed you completely. So are you getting the idea? You can capture the attention of someone like that and you might not be able to see it yet, but you are living an extraordinary life and one that is tailored to your personality and your destiny. And my life?”

“What about it?”

“Well you don’t have to worry about it because you’re going to get it anyway. You inherit my life. Which is the second best thing I ever did for you, by the way.”

“What’s that?”

“Well first I gave you your brother who… well I think he is the most valuable thing you have. He is a kick ass little brother and he proves it on a daily basis,’ I said.

“Yeah, he does.”

“And do you know his Venus is on your Sun and your Venus is on his Sun? It is. So fight all you want. I know you love and appreciate each other. So he is my biggest gift to you and the second best gift is my writing.”

“I get your writing?”

“Yeah. And whatever you do don’t get pissed off and throw it away when you’re 21, thinking it’s not important because it is important. For example, your whole life is in there,” I said.

“It is?”

“Yeah. You vomited all over the car on the way into the hospital the 2nd time. The car was full of vomit it was a scene.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. And you wouldn’t know this stuff except that I wrote it down. So while you’re in there dying and the nurse is telling me you’re gone and not coming back… well I wrote about it. I wrote about how I was feeling hearing that and I think you will want to know about this some day, don’t you?”

“I want to know about it now.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. You can know about it now except we’re in the car. But get the idea, okay? Forget about my life because it belongs to you. My life is yours already, and then you have your own on top of whatever mine is. Plus there is whatever you can observe, like what you saw this weekend, so pleeeeeease. Please don’t tell me you want my life. You are not suited to my life, you are suited to yours.”

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