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Astrology and Family: Can Pisces Be Seen?
Ask the collective…
“Well I feel the same way about you,” I said to a pal. ‘Nobody seems to know who you are. Your family for example. Why don’t they know you? I mean, they do know you but the things they know are not the important things. They don’t know any of the things that count.”
“That’s right.”
“Yeah, I think it is. They obviously do know some things. They know how to hurt you. They know how to make you feel bad. They know what’s wrong with you and can tell you all about it. They can tell you what you ought to be doing but are not. So they know all kinds of stuff like this but none of this is importantl. It has no bearing on anything that matters. It just doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the person I know,” I said.
“They don’t know what is good about me,” she said.
“No, they don’t seem to. So how is that? Why can’t they see you? Why don’t they want to know you? This seems like a waste. It is a waste of a perfectly good person who they could know.”
I was talking to a Pisces but I wonder. Does your family know who you are?
21 Responses to “Astrology and Family: Can Pisces Be Seen?”
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My family often tells me in passing that I don’t tell them much; or that they don’t know anything about my life. That sort of thing. But I think this is their way of telling me that they want ‘more’ of me, because some of the most astute observations that have been made of my character have been made by family members. I am trying not to worry too much what any of them say anymore (meaning: that which I don’t like). It gets much easier to not worry at all, with each passing day it seems.
No Pisces at all, but I do have a 12th house Neptune.
Not one bit. They have absolutely no idea who I am.And I don’t even have any Pisces.Maybe it’s the Neptune opposing/squaring my Sun/Ascendant.
(end of shameless self-promo) ;-0
And it’s a shame they don’t know, I’m pretty freaking awesome
Hmm…good question.
Thanks, Elsa, for giving me the opportunity to comment on this, because it has been bothering me quite a bit recently–to the point of cutting my visit short with my family because of the self-consciousness and emotional discomfort I feel.
My personal opinion (as someone who has tons of Pisces friends and as someone who has moon, mars and s. node in pisces) is this:
*Pisces naturally falls into a victim/martyr position, and is laid open to all kinds of emotional assaults and impressions. It seems to be one of the most prominent shadow-sides of Pisces. The role of misunderstood doormat is one that comes up again and again,and the Pisces themselves recycles this and manifests it if he/she is not careful!
*Because Pisces is so self-effacing and self-immolating, a large part of them wants to ‘improve’ or be ‘of help’ so what happens as a result of this is that they allow criticism and commentary to occur, whereas other people may not let that happen. If someone says ‘your shoes are ugly, go buy new ones’, they might internalize this information a lot more readily than others.
*Additionally (and I hate to say this, but) Pisces tend to want to follow–unless there are other things in their chart that belie this, of course. So even if someone is giving them negative feedback or bad direction, they are willing to follow because they think the person knows better (or worse) they think that they don’t deserve any better (deep down, sometimes it’s not that apparent in the conscious mind). I think self esteem figures into it quite a bit from what I have gathered.
*Pisces also seems to hide a lot, probably because of the intensity of feeling, or just because of escapism. Pisces may be suffering or playing the role of martyr very well but they are not being honest with themselves or others about what their needs are. I have had a handful of Pisces friends (and myself) who will complain at length to someone else of how badly they are treated, but are loathe to tell their attackers, or perceived attackers. They won’t always communicate directly, or if they do, they are inconsistent or vague, or even contradict themselves. There is a confusion to the Pisces position–and that is appropriately symbolized by the fish swimming in opposite directions. It’s almost as if it cancels itself out. The energy of Pisces is very ambivalent. It feels hot/cold/hot again. There is passion about something one minute, then complete meltdown of that, rearranging, then a change of heart a lot of times. Sometimes I am surprised at myself when I see myself doing this! ehe…
So…in light of all of these things (and I am sure there are many, many other factors to consider), I don’t wonder at all why people can be confused by Pisces. I don’t wonder why Pisces is confused, too! Or why they suffer. It’s a lot of strong and confusing impulses which come from inside, outside and all around.
Finally, I want to cut and paste something my husband wrote to me in an e-mail yesterday. I’m down visiting my family and with all my Pisces I am constantly worried about what others think of it (obviously and especially the bad things). I think it will be helpful for some of my fellow Piscean types to read this and even put it on your refrigerator!
“Sorry about all of your tension both seen and unseen. I know you know this already and it’s another of those easier said than done things, but… you shouldn’t let your fear of what people think of you drive you so much. If you do then not only do you have to deal with your own stress then you’ll find you’re trying to twist yourself in knots in an attempt to accommodate all the stresses and fears of someone else. Take your mom. Just as a totally hypothetical example say that ideally you see your mom’s use of only cloth diapers as a positive coherent decision. So you bend over backwards to try and do the same around her because you’re afraid of what she’ll say or think of you if you don’t. But what if under all that justification she’s got some sort of unnatural fear of disposable diapers for whatever reason. Maybe she is afraid of what others would think of her about the waste or maybe she’s is afraid of the manufacturing process or whatever (you don’t have to defend her, I swear this was just a hypothetical scenario). What I’m trying to say is that people do and believe what they believe because of a WIDE variety of factors. You can’t try and mold and bend yourself so everyone will like you. Not only won’t it work when you do that you are ironically projecting the message that you DON’T have it all together since you seem to constantly be in flux. Not to mention the mental and emotion toll of trying to constantly read people and try and anticipate what you should do based on whatever data you are pulling in from others. It just doesn’t work as a lifestyle choice. You cannot be everything to everyone, so just try and concentrate on being the person that YOU need you to be.”
Thanks for letting me rant about this-it was very therapeutic.
XOXO,
Hannah the Aqua-Ram
(Sun, Merc in Aries)
(Moon, Mars, S. Node in Pisces)
pisces midheaven here (also sun, mercury, venus & jupiter progressed in pisces, eeep!)
people ASSUME i am “this or that” before i say a word - so i sometimes go with the flow of what they say and shock them later on (natal uranus square midheaven). i have been told i look very deep in thought, but really i was probably spacing out.
my family doesn’t know me at all, even whilst i was going through some heavy, turgid shit in my life (severe depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies) - they assume it’s part of my personality. a lady my mom knows asked why i always appear so “sad” and my mom replied that “it’s just how she is”. they are always confused what to tell relatives and family friends what their college drop out of a daughter is up to and sort of “make things up” or are reluctant to answer. they also act passive-aggressive with me ; they know i could be doing something, but i don’t feel encouraged at all - i hate being called “useless” and i hate the words, “i wish you haven’t been born” by my own mother. all my life, i tried to do everything i could to impress my parents (in school, mostly) and in the end, i gave up. believe me, i know they are afraid of what others might think.
eh, i don’t think i mentioned how i belong to an asian family. gah.
also, thanks to hannah for that last paragraph; i agree wholeheartedly!
I don’t think so, and I work hard to keep it that way. For me, it’s nothing to do with Pisces though. I think it’s the Virgo rising paired with Sun, Merc, and Venus in 8th house Aries. I don’t trust any of them, so I try hard to keep them at arm’s length.
Yay Hannah! I liked that post. I don’t mind so much anymore that my family doesn’t know me. In fact, I value my internal life so much that I can honestly say that there are very few people who ‘really know me.’ They may make observations, but those, like my actual presence, is fleeting. I am who I am because of my family. I feel this so strongly, even about the family members who are dead and gone and the ones I’ve never met.
I am sorry, dt, about such cruel words being sent your way by a person who is supposed to protect and nurture you. It really does sound like your Mother doesn’t know you.
In fact, it’s as though she doesn’t recognize you–this is something I like to think of when someone projects heavy-handedly.
“She doesn’t recognize me.” As her daughter, or as another human. But there are people who do. I’m not sure how closely tied to the family-idea you are, within your asian family, but it may be that you don’t recognize that concept, either–especially if they hurt you like that.
Oh, and here’s some good vibes coming your way
I’m not exactly sure what my family thinks about me — they know that I am smart and talented, but these are surface things: they know also that I am highly opinionated and … well, basically what you were saying: they know my faults, they know what I should be doing and what I’m not, and so forth.
But you know what? I don’t think they have any idea how to make me laugh.
I have a Pisces moon.
My family doesn’t know me. I think they want to, but they are so emotionally repressed that it would take a lot of self-work for them to be able to have a real relationship with me.
I feel uncomfortable around them, like the weight of their unlived lives is pressing down on me. I do love them, but I have no desire to replicate their lifestyle or worldview, so it makes it a bit awkward sometimes.
They are good people, and I hope they manage to get what they want out of life…
Jupiter in Pisces and stellium in the 12th, but not sun in Pisces. Agree completely with kashmiri who says ” I value my internal life so much that I can honestly say that there are very few people who ‘really know me.’ “
My siblings know me pretty well, I think, considering that they’re so much older than I am and weren’t really around when I was growing up. They certainly haven’t been surprised by the way I’ve gone about the business of being Dad’s executor, which has brought us all closer together (I think about things for a loooooong time before I make a decision).
When my parents were alive, I think they knew me pretty well too.
No Pisces here.
No pisces at all, but Neptune conjunct Ascendant in Scorpio. People just go ahead and project whatever they want to see on me. I just let them do it because it’s easier than putting myself out there. I feel like my parents, my spouse, and only a handful of close friends really get me at all.
Nice comments.
That’s somehow comforting to read about all of your personal experiences (or even lack of experiences) with the Pisces energy. Sometimes it frustrates me to have it in my chart, but other times, the creative and elusive energies are interesting. I think there needs to be some kind of balance, release, some sort of stress management in the emotional life of Pisceans to stay sane and grounded. Especially if they don’t have earth in their chart or whatnot (I have very little earth in my chart).
Have a lovely weekend, y’all…
p.s. I think there’s also a fear of being known, too–I think that I feel deep down that if people really knew me they wouldn’t like me. I told my husband that (back before we were married) his parents wouldn’t like me if they knew me. I felt like I was projecting something that they might like, but if they knew me better they wouldn’t accept me. I think that in reality this is a huge exaggeration and most people aren’t so cruel as to cut you out of their life because of your idiosyncrasies.
I have PISCES ASCENDANT and some days I don’t even know who I god-damned am.
This Pluto transit on my midheaven is horrid.Help.
Blessings–MADDIE
Thanks Hannah for the input, very helpfull.
i’m pisces sun, mercury and south node. my familly doesn’t know me, we don’t have much contact actually nowadays. I identify with much of what other people have said here. When saturn transited my 5th house the fact that nobody really knew me on this planet came to my attention and I decided I should start a blog about me to change this, and so I did, and it was a very good experience. eventually I erased it, because it was too personal and I felt exposed.
I had never connected the piscean energy to the dificulty in letting myself be known, it makes total sense. It’s very frustrating to see my friends don’t understand me, and because it takes too much self analysis to understand myself in terms I could explain to other people, most of the times it’s not worth the trouble. This post helps me to accept this. I think it takes a pisces to know a pisces.
I’m a leo and my family knows me and I know them. We all try and work at it and make it a priority. I talk to my mom and sis near daily, my aunt/uncle dad at least once/month and all the time via email. I love them so much it’s nuts. I also love my pisces SO incredibly and hope that we can learn from each other in our partnership. I am not going to place him in the role of pisces…he’s just more than that. And I do intrinsically feel he is hard to know deeply inside, but I think mosy of us are like that. I truly feel that me just being who I am he will learn to trust, believe and know me but we’ll just have to see what happens. He just deserves goodness. He so deserves it. He does :).
Oh and a nice quote:
All things come out good in the end and if it’s not good it’s because it’s not the end.
Cheers all!
Much like your example person, my family knows what’s wrong with me very well…other than that, no idea, really. I’m too different from the rest of them, and they wanted a clone, hence the problem.
In my experience, Piscean energy is difficult for some cold hearted people to digest. They truly have no clue, so they choose to ignore instead of inquire and learn. But the Piscean often becomes a convenient pincushion for their anxiety when some form of emotion is released.
The Virgo/Pisces saviour/victim axis in action.
Yeah, I got a packed Pisces 7th house, so I KNOW.
Noone in my family knows who I am except the youngest. What is worse I live with the 2 that know me the least. And I know I am invisible to them….consequently the world doesn’t see me either so I am constantly having to fight for small things.
so appropriate today: neptunian weirdness alert– I just had two aries’, born within days of each other, from different parts of the country, tell me some very pointed (positive) things about me, referencing a time period 23 years ago. I would have sworn neither of them noticed me at all. WEIRD.
I have a pisces moon, and I often feel invisible. I can’t tell you how many times people have literally tried to run me off the road because ‘they never saw me’. It happens all the freakin time.
Most people also see me as something I am so not. In fact, the only people who’ve seen me for who I really am are either psychic or I’ve seen the worst of them already and accepted them.
No, they don’t really know me, what makes me tick. I guess it’s coming at the tail end of a big family- they kind of forget you’re there, or they’re so relaxed about it all by the last kid they don’t pay much attention. None of my siblings were interested in me either, still aren’t.
That’s alright- They are all boring white sheep and I am the pink sheep and proud of it.