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Saturn Opposite Neptune: Who Is The *REAL Confused Control Freak? Please Define Yourself And Others!
Astrology in Real Life…
It’s very strange. With Neptune opposing Saturn I don’t think this is the best time to try to discern what does and does not constitute “control” at least not in my case.
I got the book about control freaks that Melody mentioned, "Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You "
Why then, did it repeatedly occur to me I would have a better chance of assimilating what she was saying if I laid the book upside down near my head and let the information transfer by osmosis than I would trying to read it straight out?
Yeah, I actually thought that. Not once but a dozen times and deciding it must be me, I put the book down deciding to check it out the next day and I have now done this exact thing for 4 days.
I am halfway through the book (thank God) and I while it has some excellent information the whole thing is written in some kind of mirror-code! My editor, HQ would die trying to read this thing. This woman sees bogey men (people trying to control her) around every corner. She imagines this, in my mind while she simultaneously perpetrates everything she deems suspect by the very writing of the book.
For example, no one should define anyone else, less they are a control freak, but isn’t she defining the definers right there? ::shakes head::
And then I have to wonder and imagine (Neptune) if I might be defensive (Saturn) because what do I do? I define people all day long! And further, I rely on people to define me.
My God, I don’t know what I would do without feedback. I am constantly quizzing friends for their read on things. I want their perspective on me and the people and events around me. I crave this. But in this woman’s world only an individual can and should define themselves. Okaaaaaaaaaaaay.
Have you seen some of the people who write here? They need a clue! Sometimes I need a clue too. Is anyone who is willing and able to give you a clue a control freak? Maybe.
I am going to lay this book next to my head tonight… upside down and inside out and tomorrow I may just be able to answer that. Meantime, maybe some of you can answer this:
Do you appreciate hearing how other people perceive and / or how they define you? What’s your 7th house look like?
23 Responses to “Saturn Opposite Neptune: Who Is The *REAL Confused Control Freak? Please Define Yourself And Others!”
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well you once defined me as a control freak - which was good to get me to see my negative behaviour. But I’m still me and I still have a desire to have things my way - the difference is I’m learning how to back off and how to pick my battles - i now always ask if my bottom line is being met and if it isn’t what i can do for myself to get what i need/want.
I’m far less controlling of family and friends then in intimate relationships, and I’m trying to see how I can apply what I do with family with lovers. In this way i’m learning how to be in control of myself rather than controlling others..as much as possible and enough to be truly happy.
The thing I found about being too much in control is that having everything that you want isn’t necessarily good for you. So controlling ppl have to consciously let in other people and experiences that might be outside of their control.
I do appreciate it long-term, but it can be really really hard. There’s nothing worse than thinking you’re doing okay and finding out someone thinks you’re not. I feel wounded very easily and pray people go lightly with me because I am crippled by insensitivity.
Obviously, I need to chill the hell out and learn that everyone is not out to *get* me! LOL!
Saturn’s in Leo in the 7th house
Oh, I was going to say that this sensitivity, I am learning, has a subtle form of control that exerts control over other people. If people are worried I’m going to break down and think they hate me because they tell me I am being stubborn about something, well, that IS emotional control, isn’t it??
(crippled by what I think is other peoples’ insensitivity)
Nothing really in the 7th House using the Koch House system . . . Placidus put my Uranus there.
But I have lots of Libra so the whole “other” thing is major for me.
For me, bottom line is focus on controlling self first & foremost (Scorpio ASC). Attempting to control others works best on babies & toddlers and goes down hill from there. HUGE waste of time and energy! Life is too short.
Now getting feedback from friends, especially astrologer friends, can be very, very helpful. Only caveat I have is choose those friends with great care!
Elsa, puting the book near/under your head to get the info via osmosis is straight from Edgar Cayce! I do it myself sometimes, I think it works. Edgar Cayce slept on his books as a boy and learned his schoolwork that way. He quit after awhile, I forget why, probably thought it was cheating or something. I’ve got the moon in taurus in 7th, I think most people’s immediate perceptions of me are probably fairly accurate on the surface but being people, seldom if ever bother looking any deeper… at anyone. cynical, I know.
Oh Elsa - now I feel badly! I learn something new everyday and it never occurred to me that this woman’s writing style wouldn’t fit everyone’s experience…:) a bit of tongue in cheek there since I am sometimes challenged with thinking that everyone must think the way I do (yet another difficult aspect of Saturn retrograde in Scorpio!)
It’s been awhile since I read the book and now I am dying to read it with your comments in mind - so I’ll buy it from you if you want
That said, I have Moon conjunct Pluto in the 7th house so I love both giving and receiving feedback, but then self-awareness is my main journey. I actually have perceived your writing as someone who is not caught in this control trap the way so many subconsciously are - so maybe that’s why it’s not resonating.
I don’t equate giving feedback as control unless there is an underlying agenda towards manipulating the person in the direction you want…and that is in my mind the key. Advice given neutrally with no attachment as to whether the other person uses it can be a gift. I may be wrong, but that is the sense I get from you - a feeling of “since you asked here is what I think, but in the end it’s your life!” And that’s very cool.
Maybe it’s in the word “define” which I tend to think of as “you are such and such” which nobody can ultimately know about another and is a huge trigger for me personally.
But giving feedback on a blog that is all about feedback does not have to be defining….just “this is what I am noticing - if it resonates go with it - otherwise throw it out the window” a phrase I often use with people. Because everyone needs to find their own way in the end.
Melody - don’t feel bad, but this woman is a freak!! But I am glad I got her book because I can write about 100 blogs off it, no problem! She is irritating me into producing pearls in copious quantity. And on the purchase of the book… mine is from the library so no investment. But you ought to check the reviews on Amazon. The woman is alternately praised then degraded. It’s a hoot!
Well, what’s life without a little controversy - and I’m glad to be of assistance
I do remember now that I certainly didn’t agree with everything she said - for example: If you slow down in your car to let a pedestrian cross and they wave you on - insisting you go ahead - that is control -
not!! Maybe they are just being polite.
That said, for those of us with a distinct lack of Aquarian energy in our backgrounds and a lot more conditioning, it has been a useful book.
I don’t appreciate it - I fear it (Saturn 7th), but I need it and constantly (Pluto 7th) look for it because I’m so mutable and moody, I really need people to assure me that I’m thinking correctly. Oh and I’ve got Venus there too.
I’ve always attributed this to an Aquarius thing (b/c I have an Aquarian aunt who does the same thing, and my ASC is Aquarius), but I do the same. I’m constantly asking for feedback from people. It frustrates my S/O because he knows I do not always follow whatever it is he has said. I attribute that to my Aries
“I want your opinion, but don’t think that I’m going to agree or follow thru w/any advice you give…” hahaha 
I have nothing in the 7th, ‘cept Pluto, but it’s really late and everyone always reads it as being in the 8th.
I adore getting feedback from people. I don’t feel complete without regular interaction with others — be they strangers or friends.
I have my Leo sun, Venus, and Mercury in the 7th.
My 7th house is empty — and it falls on Gemini. Boo Hoo Boo Hoo lol
I have Pluto (Libra) and nn (Virgo) in the 7th house and I think I’m a control freak, albeit an undercover one. I do have a tendency to try and control my relationships and am always bitching about fairness. I guess that sums up that part of my chart, huh.
I always very much want to know what people really think and the truth! (sag). Sometimes it really throws me off and I feel even worse, especially when I’m told I’m being a complete idiot, but I consider it and take it in and am glad I know what I’m doing so I can take action to change it, if necessary.
I must admit that I usually don’t give a shit what other people think of me. I notice some things that happen and give myself feedback *a lot* and I have changed aspects of my behavior many times in response to inner directives. But, to me, what feels true is charting my own course my own way. I think as long as I’m not stepping on anyone else, it’s fine.
Strangely enough, that feels right to me. Maybe because of some planets in the 12th and Pluto on the IC opposite the moon in Aries on the MC.
I dunno. Maybe it’s wrong, but that’s how I feel and I can’t fake it
I need the feedback, crave it, and then continue on with my head in the clouds. Neptune 7th baybeee!!!
haha ditto C.
Neptune on 7th house cusp. I have officialy resigned to live in my head!
I love it when people are brutually frank with their perceptions of me. Mercury in Aries in the 7th House.
I consider it a gift.
Melody wrote: “I don’t equate giving feedback as control unless there is an underlying agenda towards manipulating the person in the direction you want…and that is in my mind the key.”
Yes, this is how I feel too. I can often tell when I am being manipulated and I usually don’t mind if this is the direction I want too (and I am quite open about what I want). I hate it when the other person’s agenda isn’t clear and I don’t know why I am being manipulated. I just need to know.
(Sun-Saturn in 7th)
Hmmnn - feedback has a whole lot to do with what I do for a living, so I guess it’s very important to me. Nothing in 7th House - but it falls in Aquarius.
I have a fairly firm belief that knowing where you stand with someone is key to building trust and giving you some options. You may not like what you hear, you may not agree with it, you may not change anything as a result - and I think that is fine. But often by being able to give and recieve constructive feedback, your understanding of the other person is somewhat increased. And if you agree that is a principle you want to base your friendship or whatever on, then you enter into it with honesty and good intentions.
What feedback is to me, is someone elses perception of me. And only that. It is not ‘the’ truth. If a lot of people tell me the same thing, then I might want to rethink my approach - if I want. And someone else’s perception of you is filtered through all of their history of relationships, parents, life, emotional baggage, triggers and patterns etc etc., before it even gets to you.
I feel it, my awareness is up about it and people give me feedback about it. x
But, checking out where you are with someone else can help clear up misunderstandings (a huge cause of disagreements in the first place). When people make judgements about a person, assume some motivation on their part, presume they know what is in their head, react to some negative behaviour without checking it out - that’s when the trouble usually starts. An honest dialogue - if you can get one going, can often clear the air. You may not like each other much more or change your point of view - but your understanding is usually greater. Plus it gives you options, about handling your differences in the future. It doesn’t always work in my experience, but it works more often than not - so I value it for sure.
And yes I am a control freak BUT I am a lot better than I used to be
There’s a big disconnect between how I perceive myself and how others perceive myself.
I find it interesting to hear how others perceive me. One time I was on a work trip and had to share a hotel room with a co-worker from another location and the people organizing the trip were concerned because I have a “strong personality”LOL. I was like really I do???? My 7th house is empty but I have Sag on my decendent.
miss,
LOL. I had a recent similar experience of being surprised by others’ perception of me. Someone told me they found me “funny”. Actually, in the space of one month, THREE people had told me they found me “funny”. I was like, WTF is going on? It was kinda flattering but bewildering, as I am the most unfunniest person that I know!